


Belonging

by NotoriousHRC



Series: Homecoming [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Family, Flashbacks, Han Solo Lives, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:41:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 84,723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24002257
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotoriousHRC/pseuds/NotoriousHRC
Summary: Sequel to Homecoming. A take on The Force Awakens where Han lives and brings Kylo Ren home. Mainly Han/Leia with a healthy helping of Reylo and other favorite characters! Family, Romance, Drama!"In the end, doesn't everyone just want to find belonging?"
Relationships: Ben Solo | Kylo Ren & Han Solo, Kylo Ren/Rey, Leia Organa & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Homecoming [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1741501
Comments: 281
Kudos: 272





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to the sequel of Homecoming, a continuation of my The Force Awakens story where Han lives. You don't necessarily need to read Homecoming first, but there are more than a few references to the already established plot. This story is Han/Leia focused with a healthy helping of Reylo, especially in future chapters.
> 
> Each chapter opens with a flashback of the Organa-Solo family when Ben was 3-years-old to parallel the present-day action. The flashbacks don't move through time as they did in Homecoming. I'm posting the first chapter today to celebrate Star Wars Day, and I will post the rest with daily updates starting this Thursday 5/7/2020.
> 
> I always appreciate when readers comment and tell me what they are thinking, especially with this story. I am VERY excited to share this with you! Enjoy!
> 
> Some of the lines are from the Star Wars movies and I own nothing.
> 
> #MaytheFourthBeWithYou #Always

_Locked and loaded. That was the saying. Except this time the better phrase would be locked and unloaded. The cargo had been transported and dropped at its final destination. The company that hired this transport was happy, the crew was happy, and the ship was almost ready to take off, return home._

_The transport ship's crew was still on the ground, saying their polite goodbyes, doing their best to keep their working relationships on good terms. Another job this easy would be nice once in a while. The parties stepped away from each other with a final head nod. This meant the crew was free to return to the ship and take off at their leisure._

_It was a small crew, in numbers and in size. As they climbed up the ramp, the light from the ship framed them in a silhouette, making it look like two large Wookies were piling in. But through the cracks of the closing ramp, one could just make out the small child riding on the shoulders of a standard-sized human, beside the one real Wookie of course._

_And with the closing of the ramp, the Millennium Falcon was ready to fly._

_[You really should learn some manners,] the Wookie scolded the larger man-child._

_He turned to the large Wookie as they walked into the Falcon's living space, his tone defensive. "What did I say?"_

_The Wookie stopped the man in his tracks as he turned to face him. [Directly asking to take on another job after we just met them…] His tone suggested that was not the best idea._

_"It's a good gig! Pays well, short trip…"_

_[It's considered rude in their culture…]_

_The man shrugged. "How was I supposed to know?"_

_[And…] The Wookie continued his scolding. [You used that word again in front of your cub.] The Wookie gestured to the small 3-year-old boy following dutifully behind them._

_The man shut his eyes tightly and cringed as he turned to kneel to his son. "Don't tell Mommy I used that word, okay?"_

_The boy's face lit up with a sneaky look. "Mommy says that word too."_

_The man's eyebrows went together. "What?"_

_"Yeah," the boy nodded, a laugh bubbling up. "Mommy said not to tell you!"_

_"Leia…" He muttered under his breath, his own laughter rumbling in his chest._

_The boy couldn't hold it in any longer as he started giggling through his fingers._

_"Oh, she's gonna be in trouble! Mark my words." His father was clearly having fun with this. "Alright, kid," he said leaning over and lifting the boy over his shoulder. "Time to get home to Mommy."_

_The boy put his arms out and made flying noises as his father walked them through to the cockpit, the Wookie already in his copilot position._

_As soon as the boy caught sight of the pilot's chair, he tried to scramble down. "Can I's do it?"_

_His father placed his feet on the floor and sat in the pilot's chair. It took him a moment to settle before he patted his thigh. "Climb up, kid."_

_The boy climbed alright, climbed up like a bolt of lightening until he was sitting on his father's lap and had the controls in his hand._

_"Hold on how… you remember where to start?"_

_He nodded vigorously and flipped the first switch before nodding at his copilot._

_The father watched over his son's shoulders, only stepping in with a muffled, "this one," or "not that!"_

_By the time the copilot launched them into hyperdrive, they were all comfortably settled in, but running behind schedule. It probably had something to do with the loose clanging coming from somewhere in the bowels of the Falcon, but the man decided he would fix it tomorrow._

_Their tardiness was the reason they were doing their best to sneak back into their home apartment on Chandrila. They made it to the front door and the father peeked around to find the space bathed in darkness._

_"Is Mommy awake?"_

_"Shhh," he said to his son who was still bouncing with excitement from the day. "The coast looks clear…"_

_They both made a game of tip-toeing through the shadows and barely let out any giggles as they walked further into the apartment, past the living area, past the kitchen, and coming up to their bedrooms._

_The master bedroom's door was only slightly cracked and the light was off. All good signs. Signs that pointed to her being asleep and them sneaking into bed without her knowing the late hour._

_He motioned for his son in front of him. "Go on to your room, kid, and get your jam-jams on. I'll be…"_

_He was rudely interrupted by the swinging bedroom door and the harsh lights blasting into their eyes. Dosh those Jedi tricks._

_"You're late." She was seated up in bed, arms firmly crossed, eyes heated, like she was presiding over a formal affair or court marshaling._

_That expression didn't frighten the little boy. "Mommy!" He yelled as he ran to her and jumped up into the bed. His arms spread to fall into her lap._

_That melted her. She returned the tiny human's embrace and tilted him to sit beside her. "How was your trip, Bubba?"_

_His eyes lit up as he tugged at the edges of her single braid. "Good! Daddy let me fly all the way back and I even landed with only two bumps."_

_Her eyebrows crossed. "Two bumps?"_

_The third body made himself known as he finally walked into the room. "Yeah, two bumps." He held up his right elbow and pointed. "One here." Then he pointed to his chin. "And one here."_

_The boy explained. "Daddy had to do a little help and I might have bumped him on accident." Ben quickly turned his explanation into a cause for celebration. "But only two times!"_

_She guffawed at their story and held out her free hand to her husband who was just now settling in the bed behind her. "Aw… does it hurt, Baby?"_

_He shuffled to sit behind her, giving her a pout with a nod before raising his first injury level to her lips._

_She puckered as she leaned in to place a healing kiss on the nonexistent protuberance._

_He replaced his elbow with his chin. "And here," he croaked out in a pathetic voice._

_She obliged him with her lips lingering to be sure the wound was properly healed._

_Their private moment was interrupted by their son tugging on his mother's arm. "Mommy, can I be a pilot when I get bigger?"_

_The father didn't even try to hide the pride that shown over his face. He reached over his wife and gave his son a loving pat on the leg. "That's my son."_

_"Of course you can, Ben," she answered. "You can be anything you want to be."_

_His father stepped in. "Yeah, but don't go listening to your Uncle Luke and his Jedi shi…" He was about to say that word again and stopped himself, but not fast enough._

_"It's okay, Daddy." The boy said with complete innocence. "Mommy says it too."_

* * *

**Present Day- The Force Awakens, Starkiller Base**

"Shit…" Han Solo uttered. He went into this with, what even he would consider, a loose outline of a plan. Passing through the force fields at light speed, thank goodness that turned out to be truth and not fable. And thank gods Finn came through with his idea to disable the shields.

They neutralized the threats in the control room and Han had just barely missed a blast to his shoulder before he shot down the last stormtrooper. He turned to look in the hall, both ways. It was clear. He closed the control room doors and went back to his team.

"You want me to blast that bucket off your head?" Finn threatened with a cocky confidence that reminded him of someone. "Lower the shields."

"You're making a big mistake," The first order general's mechanical voice warned while complying with their request.

"Do it."

After a few more beeps, the shield deactivated. Well, that was another miracle for the day. 'There ya go, Leia,' he thought as he saw the confirmation of the deactivation on the screen in front of them.

Finn turned to him. "Solo," Why the last name? "If this works, we're not going to have a lot of time to find Rey."

Han gave his signature sideways grin. He flashed back to the countless times when he felt the same way about his people, his friends, his brother-in-law, his wife. A cause, whether it be the Rebellion or the Resistance, was one thing. But that was never Han's reason to fight. He would do anything to protect them then, and he would do the same thing now. He was doing the same thing now.

"Don't worry, kid. We won't leave here without her."

The First Order soldier turned back to them. "You can't be so stupid as to think this will be easy. My troops will storm this block and kill you all."

Well, Han thought, the First Order hadn't evolved too much from the Empire. Still as confident and delusional as ever.

"I disagree." Finn turned back to him. "What do we do with her?"

It came to him in an instant. "Is there a garbage chute? Trash compactor?" He grinned.

Finn caught on. "Yeah, there is…"

'Thanks, Sweetheart,' he thought to himself as the clanging of her suit hit against the metal chute walls. With the soldier dispensed of, Rey was their next target… 'And Ben,' Han silently thought to himself. Ben was here. Han wondered if Ben knew his father was here, on Starkiller Base. The Ben he remembered could always sense where his parents were, what they were doing, how they were feeling. Could he sense his father now? After all this time?

They had been darting through the halls, in and out of corridors for a while before Finn turned to him with another plan.

"We'll use the charges to blow that blast door. I'll go in and draw fire, but I'm gonna need cover."

"You sure you're up for this?" Han replied.

"Hell no," Yeah, Han believed that. "I'll go in and try to find Rey…"

Han wasn't listening anymore as his eyes fixated over Finn's shoulder. He was watching from afar, almost in awe as the young pilot named Rey climbed across the wall and up to the next platform. She was good.

"Why are you doing that? Why are you doing - this?" Finn copied Han's chin movement. "I'm trying to come up with a plan."

Finally the kid took the hint and saw what he saw. Shear physical and emotional strength in a young girl. He was impressed. It reminded him of someone.

The kid, finally got the message and they all started running towards the platform she was headed to.

His legs kept up with the fast pace. Gods he was getting too old for this. Any of that excitement adrenaline that used to be kicking through his 30-year-old body was gone. His jaded and war-torn bones were on that base for one reason, or one person. Leia.

Sure he wanted to see Rey safely home, see the resistance empowered, and take the chance that their son was still under that dark mask. But all those reasons boiled down to supporting the one person he cared about more than anyone on the planets. This was for her.

He was jolted when Rey appeared from around the corner.

"Are you alright?" He said automatically, what a fatherly response.

As he heard her affirmative, Han moved to do a peripheral scan of the space. He saw a few troopers going about their business, no threats, no Ben.

He swallowed. No Ben. With that realization, he turned back to his embracing crew.

"Escape now. Hug later." He was very aware of the hypocrisy that came with that statement.

If being inside the base had sent a jolt of fear into their veins, the scene outside would have doubled that fear. The X-Wings dog-fought with the Tie Fighters on the surface of the snowy planet, the ships screaming past each other. Explosions on all sides, X-wings crashing planet-side, and still no visible damage to the oscillator.

Han froze, standing still in the snow. It was that same sense of duty and obligation to that one person that led him to the conclusion that they couldn't leave just yet.

"They're in trouble." She's in trouble. "We can't leave." And then an idea. He always seemed to have one more idea. "My friend here has a bag full of explosives. Let's use 'em."

* * *

**Present Day- The Force Awakens, D'Qar Resistance Base**

"Shit…" Leia Organa muddled as she realized her thumb was bleeding again.

She was very good at hiding her nerves and anxieties, her life had given her lots of practice. But, like every human being, she had her tells. A flinch of her jaw, her right eye would crinkle, and she would pick her thumb raw. All three of those tells were on full display, but most likely went unnoticed by the rest of the Resistance back at their compound on D'Qar.

She rested back on her heels in frustration. The Resistance base was still humming with activity. Her team, busy tracking troop movements, following the updates from the Falcon, and receiving the devastating news that the oscillator was not cracking.

The easy part was over. The Falcon had made it onto the First Order base and they were probably somewhere in the Death Star… or Starkiller… whatever they were calling it nowadays.

Was a part of her jealous that her husband was going and not her? Yes. A large part, and she wasn't ashamed to admit it. But this movement would crumble without her. No, she couldn't go. Couldn't put herself in danger like that anymore. But whereas some people viewed it as a dangerous mission with a small change of success, she saw it as simply an opportunity to see her son.

She closed her eyes, centered herself, deep breaths. She felt the beginning of his thread, ringing in the force. She followed it, moving as quickly as she could down the line she had followed so many times. And then, as always, it ended. Lost, hidden, blocked. Nothing.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! There will be daily updates of this story from now and for the next 25 days! Again, I am very excited to share this story with you and hope you will leave a note, letting me know your thoughts. I will respond.
> 
> Again, each chapter starts with a flashback when Ben was around 3-years-old, and then we continue with the AU story from TFA.
> 
> I use some language from TFA and I own nothing.
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Hey, kid, five minutes.”_

_Han clapped his hands in front of himself as he ducked around the corner, making his presence known in Ben’s room, but giving him space._

_In his room, Ben was sitting criss-cross on the floor, a menagerie circling him. Mostly full of tauntauns, but a few porgs and, of course, an Ewok as well. He didn’t do anything to acknowledge whether or not he heard his father’s warning. Instead, his own voice was the only thing he seemed focused on as he narrated a story between his characters._

_“Ben,” Han tried again. “You hear me? Five minutes.”_

_This time he got a half-second of eye contact and a head bob. He’d take it._

_Han walked back into the living space and sat himself on the edge of the sofa. Then he waited, paying close attention to the time just in case his threat depended on time accuracy._

_Han was thrilled when Leia agreed to give up their T-2LC protocol droid. Too many close calls over the years with a national security incident and a mind control scare. The only times Han missed it was when Leia was left on her own with the kid and maybe occasionally when it came to putting Ben to bed._

_When five minutes were up, he marched back to Ben’s room feeling like he was going back into battle on the front lines._

_“Hey, Ben,” he appeared in the door frame. Shoulders squared, feet planted, arms on his hips. “Time for bed.”_

_There, that’s what Leia said to do. Be firm, give him a warning, and let him make the choice._

_He could handle this. It wasn’t like he never put his son to bed before. He had successfully done it hundreds of times._

_But this was quite a week. Ben had fought his mother tooth and nail the past two nights about his bedtime. Pleading to stay up for ‘just a little bit longer.’ Yeah, he heard that line before._

_But it was Daddy’s turn to put him to bed tonight. Mommy had opted for a relaxing soak in the tub. As she deserved it._

_He knew Ben heard him, but he was being ignored._

_Han moved closer. He kept his voice stern and focused. “Ben, bedtime.”_

_That got a reaction. It garnered a huge whine, Ben’s little face reaching to the sky as his eyes scrunched up in complete agony. “NO…”_

_Han took another step. “Bedtime.” He swallowed. “Put the toys away.”_

_“Daddy…” Ben cried, bringing his hands back to his toys and moving them like he was still playing. “I’s not tired.”_

_Han took one final step towards his son. “Ben, put the toys away or I’m takin’ them to the Falcon.”_

_That did it._

_“NOOOOO!” He screamed while piling the toys in his little arms, keeping them safe from the threat. “MY TOYS!”_

_Han was sure Leia heard that from their ‘fresher. He scanned the room and found the empty bin where his toy figures lived. He held it in front of Ben. “Bedtime, you can play with them tomorrow.”_

_Ben yelled back shaking his whole body in the negative. “NO!” It happened in a flash, as Ben shook so did all inanimate objects in the room. Lights, toys, furniture, all convulsing at his unconscious will. Ben held still, and so the room fell back into silence. The boy looked even more frightened by what just happened than his father._

_Han sighed. Any lesser man would have aborted, given in. But he was the renown Han Solo. He helped destroy TWO Death Stars for kriff sake. He could do this._

_“Ben, here’s your warning. Put the toys away or I’m takin’ them.”_

_He must have done something right and the unconscious force use must have scared the boy, because although the sobs now came in overwhelming gasps, Ben was putting his tauntauns back in the box. The movements were slow but effective. When only his Ewok was left clutched in his fist, he looked like the world was coming to an end._

_Han kept focused on the next step. He went to a drawer and pulled out two different options. Returning to Ben, he knelt down and spoke calmly. “Wanna wear your spaceship or your striped jam-jams?”_

_Ben un-scrunched his eyes for a moment to point to the ones with spaceships on them._

_Han turned to throw the striped pair over his dresser, a secret smirk on his face._

_“Come on, kid.” Han helped the sniffling boy take off his shirt and pants and slide into his comfy sleepwear. There were not any more screams, just resigned, monotone wails that went in sync with every exhale._

_With the first step complete, Han stood behind his son and guided his shoulders out the door and to the ‘fresher. “Teeth.”_

_Han only supervised as the boy managed to do this himself. When finished, Han found two little arms sticking straight up into the air towards him._

_He easily complied, lifting his son into his arms. “Okay, kid,” he sighed as Ben went limp against his chest, head on his shoulder. Han’s hand ran through the scruffy dark locks and his cheek pressed against his head. “Love you too.”_

* * *

Han finished setting a charge and was about to move on when he heard something. A faint clanging of someone, something walking nearer. He quickly ducked behind a wide, vertical support beam, concealing himself from the intruder. His hand went to his blaster on instinct, ready. He peeked around the edge just enough to measure the threat. 

He suddenly couldn’t breathe. His whole demeanor changed, from cautiously confident to stricken with grief… and hope. A storm brewing inside him. 

The figure stopped at the railing, looking down into the filter, head slowly turning as if he could sense Han’s presence. Except that was not a simile, Han was certain the figure could actually sense him.

The man in the mask. His son. But was it his son? 

That innocent little boy was the only image he had of anything he would call his son. The one who would lift his arms and scrunch his hands when he asked to be lifted up, who would drag that little Ewok toy through the mud and they cry when he got dirty, who would always welcome his father home with a warm greeting that made his whole life worth it. The son who wanted to be a pilot… like his father. Where was that boy?

Han couldn’t explain it. But once he saw the masked figure this close, he knew, he knew that same boy was still in there. From afar, from reading the facts, he understood Ben Solo was dead. Kylo Ren reigned. It was easy to believe that, knowing what Kylo Ren had done. It was also easy to believe there was no good left in the figure standing before him.

Han couldn’t explain it. But all his preconceived ideas blew away once he stood so close to the being he helped create. Leia's words echo through his mind. Their son was alive.

By the time his mind worked all this through, his son had moved across the catwalk and was almost out of sight. He didn’t think. Just felt as he emerged and shouted across the void. “Ben!”

The name echoed through the metal crypt as the man, child, and person formally known as Ben Solo stopped… and turned.

“Han Solo. I've been waiting for this day for a long time.” 

The voice was mechanical. Han didn’t know what to expect, but he was immediately transported back to another mechanical voice from the ancient past, dearest father-in-law, Vader.

“Take off that mask. You don't need it.” His voice was much more confident than he felt. But that was his style, projection.

“What do you think you'll see if I do?”  
  
Han moved toward the figure, across the catwalk. “The face of my son.”  
  
He wasn’t confident Ben would comply, but he did. And the mask came off. And his world shifted again. He was not a boy anymore. No, he was a man. If Han had more time to just take him in, he would have been able to point out the different features inherited from both father and mother. But Han became fixated on his hair. The same thick, dark locks from when he was young. The same haircut. The only haircut Leia had mastered. 

“Your son is gone.” 

No he’s not, Han thought. Listen to that voice. It’s Ben! 

“He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him.”

“That's what Snoke wants you to believe.” That was almost what Han had believed for years. “But it's not true. My son is alive.” He stepped closer.  
  
“No. The Supreme Leader is wise.” Ben’s voice was steady, monotone. Almost like what Luke’s had been post Jedi training.

On the bridge, Han moved closer. He kept his voice stern and focused. “Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he’ll crush you… you know it's true.”

A pause. “It’s too late.” 

Well, he’s not denying that he knows the truth about Snoke. But was it really too late?

Han took another step. “No it's not.” He was confident in that. “Leave here with me. Come home.” He swallowed. The image of Leia as they parted came to mind. “We miss you.”

Something happened. Something he said or did must have reached him. Ben’s face, he looked just like that scared little boy running into his room late at night after a bone-chilling nightmare. 

Tears flooded his stoic eyes. “I'm being torn apart.” His voice cracked. “I want to be free of this pain.”

Han took one final step toward his son. Pain, Ben was always in pain. That’s why he finally agreed to send him to Luke, so he could be free of the pain. 

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.”

Han hears his son's voice again, vulnerable. Do what? 

“Will you help me?”

“Yes. Anything.” Anything. Yes, he truly would have done anything.  
  
Ben unholstered his lightsaber, that blasted lightsaber. He slowly extended it to Han, within a foot of Han's chest. 

The moment seemed to last forever. Father and son, their eyes locked. Han watched as the last beam of sunlight streaming through the hatch illuminated his son’s face.

He reached out for the dark weapon and took it in his hand.

Han felt it. Couldn’t describe it. A force of light coming from behind and passing straight through him. Leaving him ice-cold, bumps forming all over his body. His lungs constricted as it passed through, literally taking his breath with him. He stumbled back, hunching over, trying to breathe again. Trying to see past the fog that was now in front of him, between himself and his son.

As his eyes refocused, he saw the fog had his son’s wrist in a death grip. The hand with the saber, held high between both of them. The blood-colored weapon ignited and pointing to the sky. 

Han was about to garner up all his strength to defend his son from this attack, but then he realized the blue haze was not a fog, but in the form of a person. His person.

“Leia…” he whispered under his breath.

He squinted to see the outline of her back. She was speaking. He couldn’t hear what she was saying, but from the look on Ben’s face above her head, it wasn’t good.

Ben’s teeth clenched. His face was even wetter than before. Distress in his eyes.

“Ben!” Han called out again, coming closer.

Three things happened as he took his last step. Ben’s hands let go of his weapon, willingly or not, Han didn’t know. The red streak fell down, down into the abyss. At the same moment the saber left his grasp, a blast pierced through the atmosphere. Ben hunched forward, almost like he was leaning on the being in front of him. But then the third thing happened… Leia’s figure disappeared. 

And so the younger man fell forward, his head slamming into the grate of the catwalk, crumpling at his father’s feet.

* * *

At Resistance headquarters, General Organa seemed to be in her own world. One moment she was standing beside the team, listening to the comm updates and ordering troop movement. The next, she was staring into a void.

“General?” Someone called.

Suddenly she was back. Inhaling then exhaling for only a moment before forcefully turning away. “Ben…” she muttered to herself. “Don’t do it, Ben…”

Space she needed space. A quiet space.

She found the best thing available. A corner of one of the lesser crowded areas.

She sat on a crate, her back to the movement, eyes shut.

More than a few concerned looks were directed at her back, but no one dared disturb her.

She sat. A pillar of calm in the physical storm around her.

And then… a gasp. Her eyes shot open as she fell forward, crumpling to the floor.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to those of you who left encouraging notes! I'm thrilled with the enthusiasm for this story. To Reylo fans... I ask for your patience. We have a lot of Ben in the early chapters, but the Reylo will come and I think it will be worth it!

_“Daddy,” a snuffly voice called from across the apartment._

_His father peeked around the corner, a spoon in his right hand. “Yeah, kid?”_

_“A yot of syrup, blease?”_

_Blease! “Sure, kid,” Han answered, a small snicker in his otherwise exhausted demeanor._

_The other exhausted human came out of the master bedroom a moment later. Her eyes clearly tired despite the crafty makeup job trying to make them look alive. She was dressed and ready in her professional robes and her easiest braided style._

_She walked directly into their makeshift sickbay in the living area and went to their most critical patient lying on the sofa._

_Ben had his pillow propping up his little head, his curls splayed out in sweaty strands. His face was splotchy with red patches showing all the tossing and turning he was doing last night. His eyes were still open, more like cracked open because they wouldn’t close. They hadn’t closed all night._

_Leia sat down next to her poor baby, her hand moving first to check his forehead and feel the heat emanating._

_“I’s cold,” Ben said as he turned to his side and clutched the blanket closer to his chest._

_She tucked the blanket tighter around his body. “I know, baby.”_

_She was keenly aware of the time and of the approaching line of meetings she had today. Lowering her body over her son’s, she rested her cheek on his forehead and shifted slightly to place a kiss._

_“Mommy’s going to work now. Daddy will be here to take care of you.”_

_Ben didn’t give any sort of acknowledgment, just tried to close his eyes again before shifting to his other side._

_“Love you.” She gave him one more kiss as she reluctantly stood and moved towards the front door. She caught her husband on the way out, his hands full of pancakes and syrup._

_“You’re on,” she said tagging his abdomen and letting her hand rest there._

_He turned his head to the side as she made to walk past him. “Try and take a nap this afternoon.”_

_She turned her head to his. “You too. Give me updates. Call me if you need me.”_

_He pressed his lips together in a sleepy sigh. “I will.”_

_He watched her raise her chin and he helped her by lowering his, precariously balancing the load in his hands as they shared a quick peck._

_As she made her exit, Han made his entrance with sticky pancakes and the hope that they would be welcomed._

_“Hey, kid.” Han settled himself on the edge of the sofa and set the plate in his lap. “Let’s see if that belly of yours wants some of my famous Corellian pancakes, hum?” Han had whipped them up himself. Their culinary droid, BX-778, didn’t make them the right way, or at least that’s what Ben claimed._

_Ben was curious enough and apparently hungry enough to perk up, sit up, and lean against the back of the sofa, his legs still tucked under the blanket._

_Han forked up a small bite of pancake with a glob of syrup. He moved it towards his son’s mouth and cupped his hand under the food as he saw it start to drip._

_Ben took the food in his mouth, chewed and swallowed. That was a good sign._

_Han gave him a few more forkfuls before moving the plate to the side table. “I think that’s a good start, buddy.” He didn’t want to shock his empty stomach with so much food all in one sitting._

_Once the plate was out of his way, he finally took note of all the sticky syrup all over his hands. Without another thought, he wiped them on the sides of has pants, cleaning them as best he could._

_“How you feelin’?” He asked, turning back to the little fireball beside him._

_Ben nodded, his eyes oh so tired. “I’s cold.”_

_“Come here kid,” Han said, spreading his arms to welcome the little body._

_Ben took his cue and, along with his stuffed Ewok, curled up in a ball on his father’s lap, his head snuggled right under the man’s chin._

_Han moved the blanket to wrap tightly around his bundle, from his shoulders to his toes. He covered that layer with his arms, reaching as far around his son as he could._

_“I’ll be better soon.”_

_Han stretched his own legs out, resting one on the table in front of them and leaned back into the sofa. It took a while, but Ben’s breathing finally evened and slowed until he was in peaceful slumber._

_Han kept his arms in place, never once contemplating moving from his spot. He couldn’t take away the pain his boy was in, but he could be there. This was the best he could do for now._

* * *

“Ben!” He yelled again as he watched his son fall. Ben’s body slumped to the side and Han darted forward to guide his shoulder back onto the catwalk and away from the precarious position on the edge.

He was out cold. He must have hit his head hard on the fall. And…blood.

Han pulled his hand back from his son’s body and saw the crimson fluid covering his fingertips. He went into panic mode. “Come on, kid. Stay with me.”

He went fully to his knees, lifting Ben’s upper body to settle in his lap. “Come on, Ben.” Tilting his head down, he could feel the breath on his cheek and he could still feel his heart beating.

A furry hand almost sent him into a full panic episode. “Chewie!” He exhaled. “Thank gods. Help me get’m up.”

[I’m sorry,] the Wookie groaned. [I saw him raise his weapon to you and took the shot.]

Han went back to focusing on his son. “S’alright, Chewie.” He felt for the wound. “It’s in his side. He should be okay.”

Chewie let out another moan.

“Let’s just… get him out of here,” Han cried with exertion as he lifted half of his full-grown son.

Chewie quickly stepped in and lifted the human he was once so protective of. Ben’s head and arms went limp in the hold, his jaw slack.

Han watched with anxiety and new adrenaline. “Let’s get out of here.”

And they rushed to the exit, leaving an exploding scene in their wake.

They were both startled when they rounded the corner and ran directly into Finn and Rey.

“Is he alright?” Rey asked immediately.

Han nodded and pointed for them to keep moving. “He’s alive.” But far from alright.

“What’re we doing with him?” Finn asked incredulously, keeping up with Han’s pace.

Han didn’t stop. “Takin’ him home.”

Finn was trying to catch up. “Home… with us…” He was trying to comprehend what he saw and heard on the bridge. “Because Kylo Ren is your son?”

“Yes.” Han gritted his teeth, answering the questions posed, but 100% focused on getting them all out of there alive. 

Finn stumbled as they found the door that led back to the icy forest. “And his mother is…”

Han snickered. “My wife.”

“General Organa…”

Han shuffled to the take the rear of their group and made sure they weren’t being followed. “You can call her that. But I prefer Sweetheart.” Fight the fear with humor, his motto forever and always.

Finn turned his head as they ran. “Hey man, I’m just trying to keep up here.”

“Then keep up!” Han pushed them to move faster as the remnants of the explosion started kicking out from their detonation point. “Doin’ okay, Chewie?”

The Wookie grunted out an affirmative as they continued on.

Han was so heated from the exertion and from the adrenaline he didn’t even feel the cold air nip at his exposed skin. Only one mantra kept running through his head. 

“Bring him home.”

There were many occasions in his past where he felt an overwhelming relief to see the Millennium Falcon come into view, but he could confidently say that he was never more grateful than in this moment. A beacon in the forest.

He started giving orders as soon as it came into their line of vision.

“Finn, run ahead and bring down the ramp. Rey, help Chewie get Ben settled. I’ll get’er ready to take off.”

Finn ran ahead and had the compartment unlocked and the ramp down by the time the rest of the crew made it. 

Chewie ran in first followed quickly by Rey. Han turned to look back, still sure nobody was following them, before he and Finn rushed in.

Han really needed to stop these quick getaways. They were much harder to do in his 60s than they were in his 30s. But they needed to assure a quick getaway before the ground erupted from under them, so he didn’t stop until he reached his seat in the cockpit, he didn’t breath until they were in the air and successfully made the jump into hyperspace. After that, he exhaled.

He brought his hands to his face, fingers rubbing through his hair, palms digging into his eyes. Exhale. Inhale. Finn.

“Rey’s asking for you.”

He brought his head up, pressed his lips together, nodded. “Tell Chewie to take over here.”

Finn gave him a careful, swift nod as he brushed past. 

Han wanted to mentally prepare himself for what laid ahead of him. Only… he had no idea what laid ahead. What the fuck happened back there, with the lightsaber and Leia? How did she do that? What was Ben trying to do? And the scariest unknown of all… was he bringing back Kylo Ren or Ben Solo?

He couldn’t work through any of those questions right now, so he decided to take things one step at a time. He was good at that.

Ben was still knocked out, lying in the medic bunk still strapped in from their takeoff. He was breathing, Han could see the rise and fall of his chest. His face in profile, looking peaceful.

“Chewie dressed his wound. It should be okay. And there’s a bump forming on his forehead from where he must have fallen.” Rey spoke clearly and precisely from where she sat, on a pulled up chair beside the bunk. “It’ll leave a mark.”

Han took another step towards them. “Good to see you again, kid.” He spoke to Rey.

She turned her eyes from her intense study of their patient and gave him a smile of gratitude. “Thank you.”

He brushed her off with a sideways grin and stepped up closer to Ben, his hands on his hips, not sure what to do next.

She let him stare for a while. Let him take everything in before asking questions. 

“When did you last see him?”

Han sighed. Easy question, but through the answer emerged a deep regret. “He was ten.”

If Rey was shocked, she didn’t show it. “And what do we do if he wakes up?”

Han shook his head. Harder question. Harder answer. “Don’t know.”

Rey kept her eyes moving between the two of them. “He did try to kill you.”

“We don’t know that…” Han defended his son, reflexively. Though he wasn’t sure if he believed what he said.

She wasn’t surprised at his defense, but she had seen Kylo Ren, knew what he was capable of and what he feared.

“I was in his mind,” Rey quietly divulged, her eyes drifting to the sleeping figure.

That was news to Han, frightening news. “What?” He stared at the girl, no longer sure what to make of her.

She continued, unfazed by his reaction. “He was afraid.”

Fear. Always so much fear in his young boy.

“He was afraid he wasn’t strong enough,” Rey paused. “To be Darth Vader.”

The idea that this girl could get in his son’s head was one piece of information he would store for another time. Right now he had to process what the being in his med bunk was thinking. 

She didn’t get an answer. So she asked again. “What do we do if he wakes up?”

Han moved back to stare at his son, or the person in his son’s body, lost. He had always been lost about what to do with Ben. That’s why they let him go with Luke. Luke could help him in ways Han couldn’t. 

And here he was again. But this time they knew through a massive failure that Luke couldn’t help him. So what could Han do?

“I found some sedatives in the cabinet,” Rey spoke confidently, but with understanding. “Only until we get him back to base.”

Yes, only to get him safely back to their base. Back to Leia. The ride back to D’Qar was far. He would need…

“He’ll need fluids.”

Rey nodded, confirming they had all the supplies they needed.

For the first time without hesitation, he reached for his son. His hand cupped Ben’s cheek and jaw, thumb moving slowly across his skin. He nodded to Rey who was readying the sedative.

“Would you like me to…”

He shook his head. “I’ll do it.” 

There was no crescendo. Just a slow transfer of the drug into his system. He was already out, this just kept him that way.

For now, Han reminded himself. Just until he can get to Leia. This was the best he could do for now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The flashback in this chapter refers to a flashback in Homecoming where Ben has a nightmare and Leia uses her Jedi powers to soothe his mind. I just wanted to give some context if you haven't read Homecoming!
> 
> Enjoy!

_Han was startled awake by a scream signifying pure terror. His stiff neck shot up to attention, his heart pumping at the speed of light for a moment before he remembered where he was. He was currently in the most uncomfortable position possible still sitting upright on their couch. He had obviously fallen asleep with his neck craned to the side, and he felt that smarts in his tendons. Their living area was bathed in the dark of night. His late-night holo race was still on, the volume turned almost all the way down. He flicked the image off as he moved a hand to rub his sore neck._

_“MOMMY!” The scream echoed again._

_Unfortunately, Han was acting in the role of ‘Mommy’ that night. So he leapt into action, taking steps from his spot on the couch and moving towards the back of the house. He reached out a hand along the wall to guide him as the blood rushing to his head made him momentarily blackout._

_He felt his way to his son’s bedroom door and pushed it open only to find his son run into his legs._

_“Hey, kid,” Han whispered, brushing one hand over his eyes and the other through his son’s hair. He could hear the lingering whimpers coming each time his son exhaled._

_“I… want… Mommy,” Ben said, still clutching to his father’s legs._

_Han closed his eyes for a brief moment. Why tonight? Leia was on an overnight with a Senate delegation. Just one night. He could handle one night. Heck, he could probably handle more than that if he could figure out a way to soothe their son through these nightmares._

_“Mommy’s not here right now, kay.”_

_As the words went to Ben’s ears and they processed through his brain, he let out another wail._

_And this was Han’s nightmare. He knew how visceral Ben reacted to his nightmares. He knew what kind of pain his son was in. He tried to soothe. “It’s okay, Ben.” Han blinked his own eyes quicker as they teared up. “Daddy’s here.”_

_He reached under his son’s arms and lifted him to rest against his hip._

_“You wanna sleep with Daddy tonight?”_

_Ben nodded his head against his father’s shoulder as more struggling sounds pierced the night._

_Han’s legs carried the both of them into the master bedroom. He made sure the lights were all out before he used a free arm to pull down the covers and lower Ben onto Leia’s side._

_That was apparently not what Ben wanted, because he kept his strong hold on his father as Han tried to straighten up._

_“Okay, buddy,” Han switched tactics as he himself sat on the bed and pulled the covers over the both of them. “This better?” He sighed as he shuffled to lay himself down with Ben huddled next to him._

_He noticed his son’s partner in crime clutched in a death grip. “Did you and your Ewok have a nightmare?”_

_Ben pulled the Ewok tighter as he nodded into his father’s arms._

_Han sighed, contemplating what to do next. “What happened?”_

_Ben didn’t answer right away, just buried his head further between the mattress and his father. “It’s scary…” he finally revealed. “It makes me scared.”_

_“You’re okay, buddy.” Han ran his hand up and down Ben’s back. “I’ll protect you.”_

_Ben raised his head, his eyes pleading to his father. “Make it go away.”_

_‘I can’t,’ he almost uttered in complete helplessness. Jedi Leia was what he needed, to bring his mind to rest. Instead, Han plastered on a smile as he did the best he could. “Mommy will be back soon.” He pulled Ben back into his chest so he was laying down. “We’ll wait for her to come back.”_

_Ideally, Ben would be asleep in a few minutes. But some nightmares lingered and made it impossible for his little boy to find peace. So they would wait up together._

_‘Leia,’ He silently called out into the void. ‘I need you, sweetheart.’_

* * *

“We’re coming into the D’Qar system,” Han announced back to his crew, pulling the craft out of hyperspace and watching the planet approach.

His new copilot transmitted the access codes as they were led to the hangers.

Han noticed the white knuckles with which Rey gripped the controls. “You seem nervous.”

She kept her eyes forward and focused as she confirmed his observation. “The Resistance,” she said flipping a switch as they followed the flight crew’s directions. “I’ve only known it from stories. From where I come from it’s more of an illusion.”

Han chuckled as he looked at the movement of people currently underneath them. “They’re not so bad.”

The team successfully dropped the landing gear and the Falcon sat down in its new home. Rey sat back, feeling a swell of accomplishment rush over her. She turned to Han. “Is that job offer still available?”

Han leaned back in his own seat and smiled. “It is.” It took him a moment to think before he huffed out mock-disappointment. “But I think I’ll have some stiff competition for you.”

“With who.”

He rolled his eyes. “My wife.”

“Princess Leia?”

“Princess, General, Sweetheart.” He stood from his seat and flicked a few switches along the back wall. “She answers to all three.” 

He watched her stand and nodded for her to walk ahead of him.

“She’s gonna want to recruit you. You’ve got skills, kid. Be prepared.”

Rey turned over her shoulder and gave him a small, proud smile.

Then Han remembered the fact that she could jump into people’s heads. He scowled as she turned forward again. “Heck, if Luke ever shows up, he’s gonna want you too!”

They didn’t have enough time to continue the conversation, as they were met with Finn and Chewie in the main area near the ramp.

“Hey,” Han got the crew’s attention. “Let’s keep our fugitive between us for now.” He was met with blank stares. “I wanna see what Leia wants to do.”

They all silently agreed as the ramp lowered. An exuberant chaos erupted all around them. With the X-wing pilots returning as well, there was plenty of reason for celebration between recruits. Higher-level officers stood around the base, directing ships and persons in one direction or another. Han focused in on the nearest officer and turned to Chewie.

“Wait by the Falcon. Don’t let anybody in.”

Chewie grunted in agreement and stood at the ramp while Han sought out the officer. 

“Admiral Statura,” Han said upon approach, interrupting the conversation he was in the middle of with another pilot.

“General Solo,” Admiral Statura addressed him in the title from a time gone by. “I’m glad to see you.” He did seem to breathe a sigh of relief.

Han stopped with his hands on his hips. “Where’s Leia?”

“Sir,” the Admiral stepped up to directly face the ex-general. “Something happened to General Organa.”

His heart went directly to his throat, eyes in immediate panic.

“She’s okay.” The Admiral raised his hands to calm the man. “She passed out in the middle of the battle. We’re not sure what happened. One moment she was fine, the next she was on the ground.”

His face twisted. Heart rate still accelerating. “Where is she?”

“She’s stable,” he assured them. “The medics brought her to her room to free up the space for the troops with new injuries.”

He wanted to, more than anything, go straight over there and see her with his own eyes. His heart rate wouldn’t slow a beat until then. But Ben…

Han was no good at this. He never had confidence in himself as a father. It grew easier through the years and Han felt his rhythm with his son, but now… Now Han was feeling more lost than ever. Without Leia to guide him, he needed to step up and make a decision about what to do next. He swallowed and hoped it was the right one.

“Admiral,” Han shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I need your help.”

Placing a hand on the Admiral’s shoulder, he turned them to return to the Falcon. Han was somewhat surprised to see that Rey was following them back and led the way as they climbed up the ramp.

“We brought back another passenger,” Han said casually as they all stood stock still in the med bay, all eyes on the knocked out man in black.

Admiral Statura didn’t show any reaction on his face or in his body language. He was simply silent, taking a moment to realize who he was staring at. “Kylo Ren,” he stated.

Han put himself between the Admiral and the man in the bunk, his defenses up and ready for an argument if he needed to be. “I don’t know how much Leia told you…”

“She told me,” the second in command answered.

Han nodded, pressing his lips together and tilting his head down for a moment before continuing. “Then you know she would insist on discretion and consultation regarding all decisions that involve…” Ben? Kylo Ren? “Him.”

Admiral Statura took a moment. A longer moment than Han felt comfortable with. He finally nodded in affirmation. “General Organa will be consulted as long as no emergency decision is necessary.”

Han knew what that meant. If Ben put anyone in immediate danger, they had the authority to kill him, there and then. What a mercy. But it was all he could ask for, so he nodded and let Admiral Statura call his medic team in to transport him to the med bay. The admiral left the medics to do their jobs as he moved back outside.

“We’ve been keeping him knocked out,” Han said regretfully as the medic team approached. “Until… I can talk with Leia.” Gods he needed her.

Rey pushed in front of the medics who were just arriving in the bunk area. She grabbed a nearby blanket and covered the patient’s face. “In the name of anonymity.”

When her work was done, the medic team rolled in and transferred him onto a mobile stretcher. Han followed close behind the stretcher and Rey followed close behind him. 

“Is there an empty private sleep quarters where he can go?” Han wished he would have thought to ask that, but it came out of Rey’s mouth.

“There is,” one of the medics confirmed. “It’s usually reserved for ranking officers.”

Now Han could be useful. “Well I rank… I rank…” He paused. He didn’t know where he ranked anymore. He quickly changed tactics. “Well, it’s on General Organa’s orders.”

The medic looked at him with skepticism. “And you are?”

Han rolled his eyes. “Her husband!” Gods, if he wanted any respect around here, he would have to wear a sign on his forehead, ‘My wife is General Organa.’

That answer seemed to appease the medics because the turned down another hall and into the area that mostly held private bunks. Han took note of the room number and followed the crew in. 

“We’ll need a drip,” one medic said as they uncovered the patient and got to work on the injury on his side. “Let’s get his shirt off.”

Han watched as they managed to remove the complicated layers of cloak, belt, vest, and shirt to reveal the deep hole in his side. Chewie had already applied bacta and dressed the wound, but the medics had their own procedures and they went about cleaning it again and making their own deductions on its severity.

“It’s not critical. He’ll live.”

Han wasn’t sure if he was happier about that news or the fact that he realized just how much he wanted that man to live.

“We gotta keep him asleep,” Han said, trying to sound as commanding as he could given the rollercoaster of emotions that was tearing through him. “You guys can do that?”

The medics didn’t question. As soon as the insulin drip came in, they sent the man out again for another drip of downers.

Han stood against the wall, leaning his shoulders back and crossing his arms, his attention solely focused on overseeing the treatment of his son. His son, not Kylo Ren. But, he knew that every other soldier and being on this planet would only see Kylo Ren. And that scared him. That was the new threat.

“I can’t leave him alone,” Han muttered to himself as the medics set both IVs pumping their drugs into his system.

How could he leave? Who knows what would happen to him left drugged and unprotected in the middle of the Resistance base. But Leia…

“I gotta go to Leia, too…” He muttered under his breath, his palm wiping over his creased brow. 

“Go.” A voice piped up from the corner of the room where she seated herself on the floor a long time ago.

He turned to look at Rey.

“Go to her. I’ll stay here.” She said it like it was the simplest thing in the world. But to him, it was the most significant example of trust he received from a person in a long time. She trusted the grace he was showing towards the man in the mask. And he trusted her to protect him. Maybe it was as simple as that.

He nodded, trying to show his deep gratitude in his expression. “I’ll find Chewie to take over for you. Won’t be long.”

He took one last look at his son, lying motionless, a blanket now covering all but his face. Han stepped forward and reached for a strand of his hair that had fallen across his forehead. With a single digit, he stroked it back in place. “I’ll be back,” he told him.

“Thanks,” Han uttered to Rey as he turned and paced out the door.

It took him longer than he wanted to finally locate Leia’s quarters.

When he purposefully opened the door, he found a man in his orange pilot jumpsuit turning to face him, a defensive posture and look in his eye.

Han barely let his eyes glance at the man as his focus turned to the woman lying on the bed. The scene was all too similar to the one he just left. To any old observer, she looked like she was sleeping, eyes closed peacefully, hands resting on her stomach. But Han knew better. She hated sleeping on her back. 

He took three heavy steps towards her and sat himself on the edge of her bed beside her hip, his left arm reaching across her body to rest some of his weight. His other hand went to his knee for a moment before hesitantly lifting to her arm, careful not to move the needle that was hydrating her, and then to her forehead, brushing the loose wisps he found there back into her crown braid. 

His thoughts turned from a worrisome relief upon seeing her to irritation. Why hadn’t anyone thought to take some of these pins out of her hair? As he trailed his eyes down her body, he saw she had the same jumpsuit on as the day he left. And, gods, her shoes were still on. Well that was one thing he would change right now.

He turned his body the other way towards her feet, lifted the covers from the bottom, and unlaced her boots, carefully removing them one at a time. 

His movement forced him to acknowledge the other occupant still in the room.

The pilot took a bold step forward and spoke with authority. True authority or faked, Han could tell it was the latter. “I don’t think I introduced myself. Poe Dameron.”

Han looked at the smitten, confident pilot. “Dameron. Kes and Shara’s boy?”

Poe’s lips pressed together, internally rolling his eyes. “The one.”

Han took in the man in front of him and his head spun. “Gods I’m old!”

Poe ignored the remark and continued to take in the man he now knew was General Organa’s long lost husband. 

After the older man dropped her shoes at the bottom of the bed, he recovered her feet with the blanket and turned back to her head. And then he just stared. No movement, no sounds other than the deep breaths coming from the man and the silent rise and fall of the woman’s chest.

“Will she be okay?” Poe asked, not sure if the husband had any more information that he did. 

Han slowly nodded. “Yeah, she’ll be okay.” And he was sure she would be. With a few more moments of silence, Han continued. “She overexerted herself. It’s happened before.” She had some past episodes during her Jedi training that knocked her our for a few hours, but the strength she must have had to pull to do whatever she did on that bridge… She needed rest and lots of it.

Han found himself straightening up over the bed and turning his head towards Poe, not exactly making eye contact, but addressing him nonetheless. “Will you stay with her?” His voice uncharacteristically raw, vulnerable. “Just for a couple minutes. I need to find Chewie.”

Poe nodded in assurance as the man reluctantly left his wife’s side.

Han met Chewie at the Falcon and made arrangements. He would spend the rest of the day going between Ben’s room and Leia’s with Chewie acting as his other half and going wherever he wasn’t.

By the end of the day, he was exhausted. The day had him reliving every high and low of his 60 plus year life. He fell into bed completely drained. And yet… he had honestly doubted he would be getting any sleep at all.

Chewie helped him find and move another small cot into Leia’s quarters and he shoved it right against hers in the empty space on the left side away from the door. Chewie left to spend the night in Ben’s room shortly thereafter and closed the door on his way out.

Han had nothing left to do and had no desire to do anything other than crash into bed and fall asleep. He got himself ready, stripping down to shorts and a t-shirt. Finally alone, he found a much more comfortable white robe for her to wear and he carefully changed her into clean clothes, moving the hydration drip himself when he needed to. Her hair was his next obstacle, well not exactly obstacle as he adored taking her hair out of its neat, intricate updos. When the last pin was out, he lifted her head to bring her long locks over one shoulder and plaited it as best he could with one tie at the end.

Satisfied that she would be impressed. He finally took his place in the bed to her left and exhaled the day’s troubles as best he could. 

Eyes shut, he shifted as close to her as he could before the metal edge of the bed hit his knee. Instead, he satisfied himself with taking her hand in his, his thumbs gently stroking over her knuckles in a pattern that soothed him.

“Leia…” He whispered to her. No answer. “Sweetheart, you gotta wake up.” He was again met with silence. He exhaled again as he felt the pull of blissful sleep. “I need you, baby.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading and for those of you who left comments! I love hearing from you and am so glad you are enjoying this story!

_Something in her subconscious slowly pulled her from slumber as she started to awake. A calm serenity emanated from her soul and gently spread all through her body from the tips of her bare toes to each strand of her matted hair._

_She blinked open her suddenly very awake eyes. She was in the same position she remembered falling asleep in. Her on the left, he on the right. Him on his back and her on her stomach, legs entwined and her arms spread over him. He was clutching her like a child would their favorite toy. She tilted her head up to the side so she could reach his mouth with her own wake-up call._

_Her ministrations worked and he slowly came back to the real world, blinking his eyes and stretching his arms above his head._

_“Morning,” she cooed rubbing her hand over his chest and down his side._

_He groaned, not able to pretend he didn’t react to her touch. His hands lowered to rest on his bed partner’s shoulder and down her back. Keeping his eyes on the ceiling he spoke. “I see you acted as my own stuffed Ewok again last night.”_

_She let out a single guffaw. “If you ever do what you did with me last night to a stuffed Ewok, get help right away.”_

_He chuckled, that’s the girl he knew and loved._

_Turning her body on her side, she shuffled closer to him and reached for his cheek. “So, how long do you think we have before our own little Ewok appears?”_

_Han settled his head on top of hers and sighed. “I’d guess,” he looked at the healthy stream of light coming through the window. “No more than 10 minutes.”_

_He propped his upper body on his elbows which caused her head to fall from his chest and back onto her pillow. He looked down at her for the first time that morning. She must have stayed awake longer than him the previous night because she managed to put on her shirt and shorts before falling asleep. He couldn’t claim the same._

_“Tag!” He said pressing a hand on her shoulder before turning himself away and laying on his stomach. “You’re it.”_

_She scrunched her mouth together and sat up on her own elbows, contemplating her next move. She couldn’t think of a good comeback, so she resorted to giving his shoulder a smack and leaning over his back to reach his ear._

_“And why is it my turn to deal with your son?” She questioned._

_He lifted his head briefly. “Cause I tagged you.”_

_“That’s not a good reason…” Her hiss was interrupted by the indistinguishable thump of their son’s feet hitting the floor and padding through the hallway._

_Han heard it and grinned as he raised his head again. “And because you are the only one of us wearing clothes… Ow!” He said incredulously as he felt a distinct smack on his bottom. “What was that for?”_

_She huffed as she climbed out of bed and pulled her robe on. “Why do all my troubles start because you don’t have any clothes on?” She huffed as she made her way into the hallway to intercept their son._

_Han snickered as he got comfortable again. “Trouble is one word for it.”_

* * *

Something in his subconscious startled him awake. Awake? That must have meant he was asleep and actually managed to stay asleep through the night. He could immediately tell it was morning, deep morning if the brightness of day was accurate. 

He braced himself on his elbows and looked down at his sheet-covered body, trying to adjust to the bright light coming through the small window near the ceiling of the bunker. And then…

Leia! His eyes turned to her, but they were disappointed to find her in the same position as he left her in, face serene, chest moving with her breaths, and her left hand loose in the middle of their makeshift double bed from where he had been holding it all night.

He shifted towards her and ran a hand over his face. Another day.

When he was able to see clearly again, he turned to his sleeping partner. His eyes again taking stock of her. He shifted closer and leaned in, bringing his face to hover near hers. “Mornin’, sweetheart,” he whispered gruffly as he placed a soft kiss at the corner of her eye. “I got some news for you,” he continued. “Ben’s here. You’re gonna wanna wake up so you can see him.” He was working partly under the assumption that she would wake to his ministrations. But they were fruitless as she continued to sleep.

He closed his eyes one more time before pushing his legs out of the bed and starting his day. He was mostly dressed and just lacing his boots when there was a knock on the door. He didn’t even get to finish his abrupt, “Yeah,” before the door already opened.

Poe was only slightly startled by the presence of the other man and the fact that his shirt was still unbuttoned. But as he further took in the changes in the room, he saw why. The crumpled sheets in the new adjoining bed, he must have slept there. 

“Sorry to bust in,” he said somewhat awkwardly.

Han stood, planting both feet on the ground and moving his fingers to button his shirt. “What is it?”

Poe moved his eyes to the reason he was there. “I was checking in on her.”

Han nodded as he tucked his shirt in his pants and secured his holster. “Nice of you.” Leia was right. This kid was protective of her. Needlessly protective. Leia could take care of herself, most of the time.

“Nothin’ new,” Han gestured her still sleeping form as he donned his jacket.

Poe definitely saw something new. New clothes, her hair was different. He stared back at the other man, changing the subject. “Kylo Ren…”

Han didn’t give the pilot the satisfaction of a reaction upon hearing that name. “Yeah?”

“He’s on base, you brought him back.”

Han shrugged. “Who told you?”

“Finn,” Poe said directly without hesitation.

Han walked up to the pilot, his own cocky confidence meeting its match. “Well keep it to yourself.” After that order, he turned his head to gesture Leia. “It’s what she would want.” Han wasn’t sure what Leia had divulged to the young pilot, wasn’t sure if he connected the name Kylo Ren to Leia. He would leave it ambiguous for now.

However, Han had to admit he did trust this pilot to obey Leia’s orders. And to watch over her while he saw to the other half of his family.

“Can you stay here with her again…” Han was somewhat sheepish with his request. “I gotta go see to…”

They both seemed to know who he had to see to.

“Yeah,” Poe answered. Of course he would.

Han nodded in appreciation and turned to take one more glance at Leia before moving to the door. “You’ll let me know if anything changes.” It was a statement, not a question.

Han found his way to the mess hall and grabbed a bar to keep up his strength before heading straight back to the room where his son was.

Opening the door, he was surprised to see Rey sitting in a corner instead of Chewie.

“Hey, kid,” Han said, giving her a sideways smile as she stood from the floor. 

“Han Solo,” she acknowledged him.

He shrugged at her as he turned to the other member of his family currently lying unconscious. “It’s just Han.”

Rey nodded her head. She’d remember that. “I relieved Chewie early this morning. A medic came to refill the hydration and the drugs. He’s still stable and the wound is healing.”

She was efficient, he’d give her that. “Thanks, kid. I owe ya.”

Rey just smiled at the kind, appreciative look he gave her. 

Han stepped closer to his son.

“How is General Organa?” She asked.

He sighed. “She’s okay. Still knocked out.”

Rey nodded silently behind him.

He turned back to her. “I can take over here, now.”

Rey thought a moment, but shrugged and went back to her spot on the floor. “I don’t have anything better to do.”

Han stared at the girl, watching her sink down to the floor and cross her legs. After a moment, he sat himself in the chair beside Ben’s bed and faced the other awake being in the room.

“You have a family?”

If that was a sore subject, Rey didn’t show it. Her body language remained the same. “My parents left me on Jakku when I was young.”

“And you’ve been on your own all that time?”

She nodded.

He quirked his lips and shook his head. “You sure got spirit, kid.” After a moment he continued. “I like that about you.”

He liked it when Rey had that look on her face, a look of pride, acceptance. He didn’t think she had too many opportunities to feel that emotion in her short life.

They sat like that for a time, maybe an hour, maybe only a few short minutes, sharing light comments every once in a while as they stayed near Ben. The calm was broken when stomping boots were heard from down the hall and stopped at their door.

“Solo!” Finn ran into the room like he had just come back from an extensive exercise practice.

Han didn’t even have time to answer before Finn spoke again. 

“The General’s awake.”

The General? It took him a second. “Leia…” With a look from Rey that told him she would stay here, he ran, pushing past Finn and past anyone else who came in his way as quickly as his 60-year-old legs could take him.

He was half aware of Finn following in his destructive path. “Poe was with her, and she was moving a little, then her eyes opened and…”

He didn’t have to say anymore as they finally reached her quarters, the door already open.

“Leia…” He called rounding the corner.

There she sat, looking more than fine for a person who had been out of it for as long as she had. Her legs fell off the corner of the cot as she sat upon its edge. Her hair was still intact, still his masterpiece. Same white robes. But her face had color, a smile, and the drip was out of her arm.

“Han.” She called to him slightly hoarse, an arm reaching out. 

Finn piled into the door frame, completely out of breath. “Found him!” 

Poe just rolled his eyes as he watched the scene from beside the door frame.

Han didn’t hear the remark as he found himself kneeling at her feet. His hands, grasping hers at first, quickly traveled to rake over her thighs and back to her hips, unconsciously taking account that she was all really there. 

When he was done anchoring himself to her physically, he lifted his head to meet her eyes. She was still smiling. That was a good sign. Her lips still pressed together in the way that made him nervous, meaning something was heavy on her mind. But that was a long list nowadays. Still, her eyes… her eyes told him to phrase his next words as a statement and not a question. “You’re okay.”

His statement and the childlike awe in his gaze was able to break through her tight lips, letting her teeth show and her smile grow. “I’m okay.” 

She spoke softly, softer than either Finn or Poe had ever heard her. And they had certainly never seen her run her hands up and down someone’s face, through his hair, and pinch his earlobe like she was currently doing to the person kneeling in front of her. 

Poe had actually seen people kneel before her in the past. But those people wouldn’t have dreamed to make Han’s next move.

He only had to shift his hands from her hips to her lower back and straighten slightly to place his lips over her grin. It was a quick kiss that ended in a loud smack.

“Thank gods you’re awake,” he uttered immediately afterward, his hands moving to clasp hers. “Sweetheart, I can’t sleep on the left side of the bed.”

And there it was. Her eye-roll. She had only been conscious for about 4 minutes and he already drew it out of her. He glowed internally with his success.

“I tried. I can’t do it.” He continued, slowly becoming aware of the small crowd they had watching them. “You’re just gonna have to move over.”

“Han Solo…” she muttered on an exhale, the General slowly creeping back into her voice. She paused. Just looked at him. The last thing she remembered before collapsing is fearing for his life. 

She felt it in the Force. A slip. A hole in the mask that used to be Ben Solo. An entrance. How it got there, she didn’t originally know or care. But she found a way in and she took it. And she immediately regretted it.

She saw conflict beyond her wildest imagination. A hatred that she couldn’t begin to describe. But something, somewhere in that grotesque mind there had to be some good. Something had to have shifted to let her in.

In an instant, she knew what that was. Han. Father. His father. A weakness. The one thing, the one person who could break through to him. 

Then a darkness clouded that thought, that memory, and forcefully shoved her back outside. She sensed danger.

She acted as quickly as she could, calling on her training from what seemed like a lifetime ago. She did what she had to do but…

“Ben.”

He watched as the subtle movements in her face turned to worry. Swallowing, readying himself for this conversation he moved to sit on the bed beside her, their hands still locked.

“He’s here.”

Her inhale turned to a gasp, eyes widening.

“We got him out before Starkiller Base blew.”

She took a quick detour. “So the operation was a success.”

“Yes, General,” Poe addressed her from his place next to Finn. 

Han managed to look only slightly muffed at his story being interrupted. 

“And Ben?”

“He’s here, but I’m not sure he’s back yet.”

She didn’t know what that meant and it showed on her face.

“He’s…” Han swallowed. “He hit his head right after you left him on the bridge. They’re keepin’ him knocked out for right now.”

She rolled her head in a circle, a clear sound of distress coming from her as her face fell to her hands.

“Only for now…” Han tried to make that sound better as he moved his hands over her shoulders.

In the corner, Poe and Finn were having their own side reckoning, keeping their eyes fixed on their General.

“Who’s Ben?” Poe asked.

“Kylo Ren,” Finn answered.

Confusion. “Kylo Ren is Ben?” 

“And their son.”

More confusion. “Her son Ben is Kylo Ren?”

Finn nodded. “Now you’re caught up.”

Leia finally lifted her eyes from under her hand. Trying to process this was overwhelming. But internalizing the idea that her own son was a threat to the people she loved would make living unbearable. 

“Where is he?” She asked, desperation in her voice.

He nodded and pressed his hands on her thigh as he stood. “Clothes first, sweetheart.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all who leave me a note! I really appreciate it and a few people's notes already have me making some edits and additions to future chapters!
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Ben, come here please,” Leia called down the hallway, taking a deep breath after uttering those words and bracing herself for whatever might happen when her little boy would turn the corner._

_She could hear the pattering of his running feet a couple of seconds before he turned the corner and caught her with the dreaded hair cutting scissors._

_“Time for a trim, little man.” She said casually while also holding up the towel she used to put around his shoulders._

_As quickly as Ben ran to her, he reversed that and ran in the other direction._

_She took another deep breath and looked to the ceiling, her weight shifting to the right leg. “Ben, if you don’t get back here you won’t be watching your show tonight.”_

_What a threat. That little boy lived for his nightly holo program. And he was smart enough to know that she always followed through on her threats._

_It took more than a few moments, but Ben’s pouty face poked around the corner again, his arms in a funny crossed position across his chest. As soon as he saw his Mommy, he made a show about stomping the rest of the way across the room to the counter stool where she was standing._

_Leia stood triumphant. “Thank you, buddy.” She lifted him up onto the stool and wrapped the towel over his shoulders, ready to catch the falling hair._

_When the towel was secured, she walked around to face him, shuffling his long locks with her hand. It was almost comical how low Ben held his head and the adorable evil stare he was giving her in return. “Now, what do you want it to look like?” She asked._

_Ben moved his shoulders up and down._

_Leia continued to play with the hair. “You gotta give me something. Do you like it long or short?”_

_He just shrugged again._

_“That’s not an answer.”_

_“I wanna play,” he said kicking his feet like they were getting ready to run._

_She held her hand to her little 3-year-old. “Alright, I just wanted to give you a choice. If you don’t care, we’ll make it Mommy’s choice. Okay?”_

_Ben nodded. “Kay.”_

_With the freedom to do what she wanted, she started by taking a soft brush through his locks. Thick, dark, curled at the bottom. When the brush went through without a snag, she move onto using a comb to part and help in her cuts._

_Starting in the back, she used the comb to find a length and made some snips, the dead hair falling to the floor._

_“What are you playing with?” She asked to distract him from the fact that he had to sit still for an extended period of time._

_He turned his head to answer her. “I’s makin’ a fort.”_

_“Oh,” she said with excitement in her voice as she modified herself to deal with her son’s moving head. “How are you doing that?”_

_“I’s using a blanket and laying under it.”_

_She was having a hard time picturing what his fort looked like. “What are you going to do in your fort?” When the back of his hair was trimmed, she moved some of the pieces to the front and then moved herself to face him._

_He shrugged. “I’s gonna play with my Falcon.”_

_Ben had a ship that he swore looked exactly like the Falcon._

_Using the comb again, she snipped the front a little shorter to frame his face. “That sounds exciting! Can I play in there too?”_

_He shook his head and she quickly took the scissors away so she wouldn’t cut him. “No!” He giggled. “You’s too big!”_

_She looked offended. “Too big! Well,” she went back to concentrating on his hair. “Maybe Daddy and I can help you build a bigger fort where we can all play. How does that sound?”_

_Ben’s eyes lit up. “Good!” He through ahead to how soon this could happen. “When’s Daddy comin’ home?”_

_She ran her fingers back through his hair a few times to make it look more natural, his usual messy style. She was lucky his hair was so forgiving. “Daddy will be home tomorrow, remember. He’s doing his work.”_

_“On the Falcon?” Ben asked._

_“Um-hum,” she nodded as she put down the scissors, pleased with her amateur job._

_“I’s gonna play with my Falcon and fly Daddy home,” Ben announced as he turned around on the chair, sitting on his knees and reached to finger his mother’s own braids._

_Her heart swelled as she removed his towel and leaned down to meet her son’s eyes. “How about I finish cleaning this up and then you and I can draw a picture of what our fort will look like, okay?”_

_Ben jumped off of the chair and raised his arms with an excited squeal._

_“Okay then!” She ruffled her son’s hair one more time, watching the locks bounce as he ran off. “My little starfighter.”_

* * *

“Thank you, gentlemen,” Han muttered as he rounded up Poe and Finn and pushed them out of the room while Leia changed from her robe and into her day clothes.

The boys complied and reconvened in the hallway. Poe turned to Finn. “Finn, go tell Admiral Statura she’s awake.”

Through the last crack in the door, Han immediately raised a finger at him as he countered. “Finn, don’t go tell Admiral Statura she’s awake.”

Finn, caught in the middle stayed put, shrugging his shoulders to himself.

“Let her see Ben first and then you can alert the whole doshing base.” He made his point before shutting the door in their faces.

Poe let out a frustrated sigh and turned to Finn. “I guess we wait.”

They didn’t have to wait long for their General and her husband to emerge from the room, the General now wearing a dark burgundy wrap gown with a high collared robe and her plait wrapped around the crown of her head. She donned a set of metallic earrings. Along with the gold on her right hand, her left hand now wore a sparkling sapphire set in gold.

She lead the way, with the energized power that had defined her legacy. Just minutes after waking up from being knocked out cold and she was back in action.

Her husband followed her out of the room and matched her pace as they walked with purpose through the halls. Finn and Poe stood still for a moment, and then rushed to follow, not wanting to miss whatever was happening. 

Leia kept her head high and her mind focused. Her expression must have been off-putting. She noticed more than a few heads turn away from her as she passed her troops in the hallway. Right now, she didn’t care what she was projecting. She just needed to see him.

Outside the bunk number where Han directed her, a young girl was leaning against the door, buns drooping down the back of her head, white ruffled wrap tightly secured around her frame and her head turned down to the floor.

“Rey,” Han spoke up from behind Leia.

Aha, so this was Rey.

Leia watched as Rey raised her head to the approaching group and the older woman stopped right in her tracks. She felt like a rush of waves came crashing over her and knocked her down. 

The rest of her entourage halted in a clump behind her, with Finn not stopping in time, leading the rest of them to bump together like dominos. 

“Rey,” Leia repeated Han’s greeting as she stepped forward, still feeling a humming vibe emanating from the girl. 

Rey stepped away from the door to meet the group. “General Organa,” she addressed the leader.

“It’s so good to meet you.” Leia immediately took the girl’s arms in her hands and gave her a brilliant smile. “Han’s told me…” she hesitated. “Almost everything.” He didn’t tell her this girl was Force-sensitive, VERY force sensitive to be more precise. 

Leia put that into the back of her mind for now and took a tone of seriousness and gratitude. “I need to thank you from the bottom of my heart for all you’ve done. We both,” she gestured to her husband standing at her shoulder. “Owe you a great debt.”

Rey smiled politely, but Leia could sense her inner glow. 

“You are a very special person, Rey from Jakku.”

Han moved around her shoulder and stood by Rey’s ear. “I told you she was gonna try and steal you from me.”

Leia sharpened her eyes towards her husband. “Is it a competition?”

“Of course,” he shrugged his shoulders as if the answer was obvious. “Everything we do is a competition.”

“Really?” She quirked her eyebrow at him. “I must not have noticed because I always get my way.” 

Han let the smile appear on his face and leaned down to Rey again. “Watch out for her, kid. She’s ruthless.”

Leia smacked him on the chest as punishment for that comment as she turned to the door where her son was. 

Without hesitation or taking time to mentally prepare, she shoved the door open and took a step. There he was, her baby boy. She didn’t know what to expect. To be overcome with emotion? To let everything go and cry on the spot? To feel fear? Helplessness? 

When the moment came, she felt all that, everything. His face, so much like Han’s, and now all grown up. She could tell he had either met or surpassed his father in height even from his recumbent position. But the one thing that she fixated on, was his hair. It was exactly how she remembered it. Thick, dark, curled at the bottom. And from what she could see of it laid out on the pillow, the cut was almost identical to the home cuts she used to give him. Her son. It was him.

She took one step closer and stopped again. His eyes, they were the singular most distinct feature he carried from her. He had her eyes. And she couldn’t see them.

“Call in a medic,” she ordered to someone, anyone within earshot. Finn was the last one to enter the room, so he was the one to leave and return a moment later with a medic.

“General Organa,” the individual addressed her.

“Get these drips out of here!” She ordered with a force that made it happen immediately. With the drugs no longer pumping through his system, she expected him to wake in a few hours.

She let out a sigh of relief when that nasty drug was gone. Han noticed her distaste for their method of keeping him sedated and stepped closer to her side. “I didn’t know what to do.” He admitted in a low voice so only she could hear. “I didn’t know who he would be if he woke up.”

The argument made sense, but she hated it. Her people, her resistance fighters, needed protection from her son. The reality was too hard to emotionally process. On top of this…

Han interrupted her thoughts. “We’re gonna have to tell the rest of the base that we have their… Kylo Ren,” he spit the name out like a bitter fruit. “It’s already started to leak.”

And that was where her previous thought was headed. She needed to protect her troops from her son, and she had to protect her son from her troops. They couldn’t have either her, Han, Chewie, or Rey stand guard forever. 

She quickly formulated a plan. It wasn’t foolproof, but she felt like this was the way the Force was telling her to proceed. The Force, she seemed to be letting that strange magic back into her system like a long lost friend. And she hoped that long lost friend would come through for her this time.

“Back, everyone. Outside,” she ordered in a voice that brought immediate compliance.

With everyone outside the door watching her, she was left to do her work. Mentally stretching her mind, she took one more step towards her son, taking in the man now before her, and then stepped to stand just inside the door.

Eyes shut, she raised her hands above her head, palms out in front of her. Drawing on the lessons she was taught, she concentrated while moving her hands slowly down to her waist, envisioning the invisible shield she was creating around her son. 

And then she released, feeling slightly woozy from the exertion. 

She reached out in front of her again, testing her skills. It would do.

With a twirl of her robes, she turned to the crowd at the door.

“Now, nobody goes in or out without me being here.”

Han was the only one brave enough or curious enough to step up and test it out. He was only able to step so far until his knee collided into the invisible wall. With a slight grimace as he gingerly held his knee, he nodded towards her. “Nice job, sweetheart.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your notes! 
> 
> The flashback in this chapter refers to their wedding night that I wrote about in Homecoming chapter 2!
> 
> Enjoy!

_Her eyes were closed as she bit her lip, seeing if she would wake up from this dream. But she was still there, and so was he. She could tell from the pressure of his lips and teeth as he paid special attention to her neck. Her best friend, her man, her love._

_He continued his ministrations, now trying to count all the ways he loved her, punctuating each point with a special kiss. “I love your laugh… your mind… your passion. I love how I feel when I’m with you. When I’m around you I want to touch you…” He raised a shaky hand to her leg under the table and allowed his palms to squeeze the flesh he found._

_She shuddered as his fingers pressed against her and she shifted towards his touch._

_His other arm found its way around her waist and held her tight. He whispered his final devotion. “Couldn’t love anyone more than I love you, my Leia, really.”_

_His words were barely out of his mouth before he found her lips pressed against his. It only took him a moment before he pushed back with a force. He drank in the warmth she offered and gave twice as much as he took._

_She finally managed to break away and tried to bring air back into her lungs. “Han Solo,” she scolded between breaths. “That’s the last time I challenge you to a seduction fest in public.”_

_He briefly looked around the romantic, dimly lit restaurant. “So?” He shrugged. Barely giving their public presence a thought he continued to run his nose across her cheek. “Leia…” he exhaled into her ear, his fingers moving back to cup her hair that was still in its pristine state._

_She shuddered at her name on his lips, whispered as if a prayer. Her whole body shook with adrenaline. She needed him in the most intimate way possible. Snaking her arms under his and to the back of his shoulders, she pulled herself up to reach his ear. “Get the check, Han. Now.”_

_“Um-hum,” he squeaked, the blood in his head completely gone as it pooled in other parts of his body._

_He pulled away to yell for the droid that was taking care of them and hand it more credits than their food and drink could possibly be worth._

_With that taken care of, her lips brushed his sensitive ear lobe. “What are we waiting for?”_

_Air to come back into his lungs and blood to circulate through their normal channels, that’s what he was waiting for! But before he had a chance to test his bodily functions. She had her hand in his and pulled him from his seat on the booth beside her and toward the exit._

_He somehow made it out to the night covered, almost deserted sidewalk and walked in step with her. Their pace much faster than their walk there, desperation in their every movement._

_“Did I ever tell you I love the way you walk?” he said as he picked up the pace._

_She looked at him out of the corner of her eyes. “Um-hum. Did I ever tell you I love your clean-shaven face?” Her hand reached out to smooth over a fresh cheek._

_He took her palm in his and leaned in to give it a kiss._

_She locked their fingers again and they continued sprinting. “Did I ever tell you I love your hands?”_

_She pulled their intertwined hand to her mouth and placed a burning kiss to each digit she could find. “Such long fingers and slim wrists…”_

_“Oh, baby,” he groaned stepping in front of her so she couldn't walk any further. “You wanna see them at work?” With the dexterity of a tiger he pounced, crashing his mouth to hers and bending her backward at the waist._

_With equal fervor, she pushed back wrapping her arms around his neck and kicking her feet off the ground when his height was to much for her._

_Her hanging around his neck allowed for him to keep walking, so he did, his feet carrying them in the right direction._

_After half a block, she fell back to his side and they moved faster. Hand in hand, laughter bubbling over, they sprinted back to their apartment, blessedly child-free for the night. Chewie had given them an evening off for a date night and promised to call if there were any issues. Gods they hope not._

_Somehow, he found the lock and palmed them in while her hands wiggled their way to his belt buckle. “Get inside, now.” She breathed her order._

_He fumbled with the door before pushing it wide open and stumbling inside holding her waist in his arm to keep her from tumbling over in a drunken haze._

_She found her feet and used all her weight to back him against the closed door. Her hands made quick work of his belt buckle as her lips never broke with his. “Can I ask you something?” She said against his lips._

_“What?” He moved his hands and lips to cover every inch of her face._

_She pulled his shirt out of his waistband and threw her head back, her neck stretched to its full length, her lips a feather’s width away from his. “Thinking back to our wedding night. Sex on the beach.” Her panting breath against his mouth sent a tremor down his spine. “Was it overrated?”_

_“Nah, definitely not.” His hand moved to her neck, grazing the vulnerable part with his able paws. His fingers made quick work of the top buttons at the nape of her neck._

_“Oh yeah?” She wasn’t one to be left in the dust, so she griped a side of his shirt with each of her hands and ripped it open._

_“How was it for you?” He quickly finished the buttons at the back of her dress._

_She made sure his eyes were fixated on her before she let her dress slide off her shoulders to reveal her bra and underwear. “Gods, it was incredibly sexy,” she said pushing his shirt off his shoulders._

_“So are you.” He groaned, latching his lips to hers and speeding his feet across the floor. With the strength in his grip at her waist the only thing keeping her from falling, her feet shuffling helplessly backward towards their bedroom._

_He didn't stop until the back of her legs hit the bottom of the bed and she fell backward, his weight tumbling on top of her like a rock._

_“Sorry,” he muttered into her mouth._

_She didn’t answer, her lips otherwise occupied. Instead, she pushed on his shoulder so he was on his back and she was straddling him. “Pants…” she heaved trying to yank them off without unbuttoning them._

_Somehow, they got all the way to his ankles and she was satisfied, shimmying back to kiss his lips._

_A primal groan echoed through the room as she pressed her center into him and plunged her tongue into his thirsty mouth. His arms pulled her even closer, forcing her to stop her movements before she took him too far._

_“Leia …” he puffed as he flipped them once more. Unfortunately, he flipped them the wrong way._

_“Kriff!” he uttered as they both landed on the floor with a single bang._

_“Oof!” she muttered eyes closed, her heart in her throat at the unexpected drop. She turned her head, her eyes locked with his again and it took all of two seconds for them both to burst out laughing._

_The back of his head laid on the floor as his stomach visibly contracted and expanded._

_She kept her eyes on him as their laughter crescendoed. Her head eventually swayed forward against his shoulder. “Kriff!”_

_“Kriff is right!” He said coming down from his high and exhaling until he paused in silence. “Well, while we’re here…”_

_He didn’t finish the sentence as he attacked her neck, his body shifting and his arms pulling her under him._

_She immediately pushed him away. “No way, Solo,” she chided, scooting on her side away from him._

_He managed to grab onto her retreating hand. “Come on, Leia .”_

_“Han, I am not doing that again after last time.”_

_His eyebrows went sky high. He didn’t think she’d remembered that drunken incident. Apparently, he was wrong._

_“Now climb up on this bed.” Without warning, she jumped up from the floor and flew into the bed with arms spread. “You better get up here or I’ll have to do it myself.” She quickly contorted her body against the bedspread, looking back to watch his reaction._

_“Well that’s a promising image,” he smirked standing to his full height and shuffling his shoes and the rest of his pants off before climbing onto the bed on his hands and knees._

_She met him halfway with her lips finding their way back to his, fingers laced in his hair, and ankles locked around his legs._

_“I love you,” he whispered breaking away from their desire filled kiss._

_She grinned, her heart couldn’t soar any higher. “I know.”_

* * *

Leia was exhausted once again from the energies it took for her to channel the force, and she needed nourishment. Han promised to grab them both some lunch from the mess hall and meet her back in Ben’s room. The others dispersed with their own plans for lunch and under strict instructions from the General to keep what they knew secret until she could figure out how to go about it properly, if there even was a proper way to tell her crew that they were harboring a known enemy and that enemy was her own flesh and blood. Finn was now allowed to tell Admiral Statura that she was awake, but that was all.

She let Poe find her a second chair for the room before she shooed him out. Raising her hand at her force field, she allowed herself to pass through with the chair. 

She set up a place for them to sit at the foot of Ben’s bed. She sat there, now feeling even more exhausted, and contemplated what to do while staring at her son, soaking in the now grown man as much as she could. 

Han was true to his word and quickly returned with a tray full of food. Unfortunately she did too good of a job with that force field and he ran right into it. “Ow! Leia!” He exclaimed while steadying the tray and flipping up the bottle that toppled over.

“Sorry,” she said as she raised her hand from her seat and allowed him to pass through.

“That’s gonna take some getting used to.” He went to the empty seat beside hers and sat down with the tray in his lap. “They had some sandwiches that looked edible, so I grabbed four. And some drinks.”

Leia looked at his loaded tray and immediately dug into a sandwich, making sure to take small bites as she wasn’t sure what her stomach could handle yet.

“What are you thinkin’, sweetheart?” Han asked as he picked up his own sandwich and took a bite.

She thought while she chewed. “I think that…” She leaned forward in her chair as she addressed him sincerely. “I’ve never loved you more.” After the highs and lows they had been through, that was quite a statement. “I don’t know what I expected when I asked you to bring him home, but gods, you did it.”

“I’d move mountains for you, Leia.” He tried to make light of the deep gratitude she was expressing. “You know that.”

“I certainly know that now.” She took another bite and moved her eyes from her husband to her son. “I just can’t believe he’s here.” She bit her lip as her head shook, still in true disbelief.

Han followed her gaze and nodded his head. It was more than surreal. “I’m glad you’re here.” He thought back over the last day of sharing his time between Ben’s room and Leia’s room, trying to protect them both. “I couldn’t handle this by myself.”

She nodded. “You had some help.”

“I did,” Han agreed. “Chewie stayed with Ben last night. And Rey too. She’s a good kid."

“You trust Rey,” she stated, not questioned.

“I do,” he said simply. 

She waited for him to elaborate.

“She was in with…” He pointed to the man in the bed. “She said she went into his mind.”

“Really?” That held Leia’s interest. “It’s obvious she’s Force-sensitive, nearly knocked me down when I first saw her.” She continued, “What did she see?”

Han swallowed and took this moment to look at her directly. “Said he was afraid. Afraid he wouldn’t be as strong as Vader.”

She placed her sandwich back on the tray and pressed her fingers into her temples, bending over so her elbows rested on her knees. “Gods we went about that all wrong.”

Han nodded in complete agreement as he took another bite of his sandwich. “Hell, yeah we did.”

“We should have had the Vader talk way before we ever contemplated…” Her sentence should have ended ‘sending him away,’ but that was another sore subject.

“Well… hindsight. We’ll do much better next time.” Han shrugged his shoulders trying to lighten the mood and held out his sandwich. “Want some?”

She tilted her head to look at him in angry bewilderment. How could he invoke humor at a time like this? But then again, that’s what he was best at. And she loved him for it. She opened her mouth and took a bite of the food from his hand. 

“So, what do you want to tell your commanders and soldiers?” Han asked.

“Everything,” she had been contemplating this doggedly for days and delicately for years. And telling them everything was the only way to not repeat the same mistakes. 

Han was taking her lead on this, she knew what was best. “It’s gonna be hard. Some people aren’t gonna like it.”

Leia sighed, didn’t she know it. “At this point, we have to represent him as a political prisoner.” She was acclimatized to this. This was the only way she could think to protect her son and continue with integrity.

Han nodded, always supporting her. “Whatever you think is best, Leia. I’ll support.”

She exhaled a quiet sigh of relief. At least she had someone on her side. “We’ll have to leave soon.” She changed subjects as her mind drifted to the thousands of other things on her work plate. “The First Order already knows we’re here. It’s just a matter of time before they regroup and attack.”

He could see this coming. “I’ll work on gettin’ the Falcon up to scratch.” Taking the last bite of his sandwich, he reached for another one. “Where’re we goin’ next?”

She heard his phrasing and couldn’t keep herself from pushing for clarification. “We?” Leia questions hesitantly.

He didn’t understand her question. “Yeah, the Resistance. Where’s our next location? Or can’t you tell me?” 

He still didn’t understand it, but he more than welcomed the slow, sweet kiss she placed on his lips with the most beautiful smile to match. 

“What did I do?” Now he was the one hesitating. “Not that I’m complaining.”

She kept her face close to his and let the elation emanate from her entire being. “You said we.”

Now he understood her delight. And he was just as glad to see how much she valued his presence. “We’re in this together now. You and me.” He found her hand and held it in his. “Till death do us part…”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is my favorite chapter so far. The flashback refers to the plot from Homecoming where Leia had a miscarriage, chapter 10. This scene picks up right after that chapter. Thanks so much to those who leave me a note! I really do appreciate them all!
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Mommy’s sad.”_

_Those were the words that met him at the front door when Han opened it to find Chewie and his son. Ben’s school pack was in Chewie’s large paw and both of his new visitor’s eyes were staring sadly at his own desperately sad orbs._

_“Hey, buddy,” Han knelt down slowly, almost painfully with his arms spread, feeling the need to hold his son close._

_Ben toddled over to his father and gave him a quick hug before stating again, “Mommy’s sad.”_

_Han was exhausted and not ready for this conversation. He barely had time to process anything himself. A medic droid had only just left after making sure Leia was stable and cleaning up the last of the mess. Han finally felt like he could breathe after hearing confirmation that Leia was alright._

_It had taken the better part of the night for it to happen. And so much pain, both physical and emotional. He was with her the entire time, moving with her from the 'fresher to the bed, holding her head, her hand. He held her in his lap on the sofa while the medic and the medical droid that accompanied graciously cleaned up. He made sure there were clean sheets and she wore one of his fresh shirts and shorts as she climbed back into bed, utterly exhausted, minus a life growing inside of her._

_He kept one arm around Ben as he ran the other over his chin. “You’re right, buddy. Mommy’s sad.” Of course their Force-sensitive son could feel her emotions._

_“Why?” He asked innocently._

_Instead of moving to a better location to do this, Han simply sat himself on the ground in the foyer and leaned against the entry wall. This was not a conversation he ever wanted to have with his son. This is not what he signed up for when he became a father._

_Chewie stayed nearby, watching the sorrow drip from his human family._

_Han started once Ben sat, straddling his legs and facing his father. “Remember when we told you we were gonna have another baby and you’d have a little brother or sister to play with.”_

_Ben nodded, he remembered._

_“Well,” Han looked to his son to gauge his reaction. “Mommy’s not gonna have that baby now and that makes her sad.”_

_Ben’s eye twitched. It had always twitched when he was confused. “Where’d it go?” A valid question from a 3-year-old._

_“It went to live in the Force, buddy,” he said automatically. “But we’re sad it’s not gonna live with us.”_

_That seemed to make sense to Ben, so he nodded._

_“Let’s let her rest, okay?” Han pressed a kiss to Ben’s forehead as he lifted him to a standing position. Han stood up himself a second later. “Why don’t you bring some of your toys out here and we can play while she sleeps.”_

_“Kay,” Ben said as he turned from his father and shuffled his feet down the hallway towards his room. Only his feet never made it there. They stopped right at the closed door to his Mommy and Daddy’s room._

_Ben stood there for a moment before deciding what to do. He wanted to see Mommy. He tiptoed up to her door, afraid to disturb the silence, and reached up to open it._

_He saw a lump under the covers on his Mommy’s side of the bed. He patted over and saw she was laying on her side, her head now facing him. Her eyes were closed. She must be sleeping. Ben thought about what his Daddy said. They should let her sleep._

_As carefully as he could, he reached up to the high mattress and pulled himself up to her side. There was still some room on the bed between her chest and the edge. He figured he could fit in that space. He moved in beside her, facing her. He pulled down the covers and slipped between them, wiggling around trying to get comfortable, bending his legs towards his stomach. In this maneuver, he knocked Leia hip, jostling her awake with a singular shriek._   
_Leia folded her body in, bringing her arms around her waist, groaning. She opened her scrunched eyes to see Ben furiously climbing back to the floor, his eyes wide, surprised and scared at his Mommy’s cry._

_“Ben,” she blinked her eyes open to see her son’s worried little face staring back at her._

_As she laid there, she felt the physical pain lingering but the worst pains were internal, emotional._

_Empty, alone, powerless, empty, scared, mournful, empty. She couldn’t think of any other words that described this awful feeling._

_But now her son was before her, looking scared and powerless. And all she wanted at this moment was to hold him close._

_“Come here, baby,” she called to him, gently moving herself closer to the center of the bed and giving him more room._

_Ben looked like he wanted to move but was still afraid._

_“You didn’t hurt me, sweetie,” she assured him as she patted the spot she made for him. “Come on.”_

_He was still hesitant, but he wanted to be near his Mommy, so he climbed up again and very carefully settled in. He cuddled beneath Leia’s raised arm with his head nuzzling her chest and his fingers spread as he moved them up and down her textured braid, feeling much better._

_“Mommy’s sad,” he stated in his own sad voice._

_She held him gently, holding back the sadness in her own voice. “Yes, Mommy’s sad.”_

_“Ben,” Han finally noticed his son was not in his room and came looking. The open bedroom door gave him a clue as to where he went. He moved through the door. “Ben I thought you were…”_

_Leia raised a hand to stop him. “It’s okay, love. We’re okay.”_

_Han calmed down, hearing that she didn’t mind the interruption to her much needed sleep. “Chewie’s in the kitchen. Offered to make us some dinner.”_

_“That’s nice of him.” Leia ran a hand over her son’s head as he pulled back to look at his father._

_Feeling lost at what to do, Han came back to her side of the bed and sat down beside his little family, no longer a growing family._

_“There’s no more baby,” Ben said, remembering what his father told him._

_He felt his Mommy breathe deeply as he sensed a new surge of sadness inside her. “That’s right.”_

_He lifted his chin to look at her. “That’s why you’s sad?”_

_She tilted her head down, nodding at him._

_Han swallowed. “Your Mommy’s still hurting, buddy.” He reached his hand to gingerly caress her hip and lower back. “We’ve gotta take good care of her.”_

_Ben heard what his father said and felt an immediate swell of responsibility. He untucked his little hand from his chest and raised it to his Mommy’s cheek. “I take care of you, Mommy.” His hand stayed where it was as he again buried himself in her embrace._

* * *

She felt better after getting something in her stomach and sitting down for a while. She was definitely rusty in her Force skills and it was taking a lot out of her. Han had just left to return their tray and let Chewie know she was awake and doing well.

As Leia sat back in her chair, she contemplated what she needed to do next. She would address the troops, probably later that day, reviewing their victory and their necessary evacuation. That was the best time to slip in the news of their ‘political prisoner’ and the fact that this used to be, still was, her son.

Then there was an evacuation to plan for. She was confident that her team had already been plotting new locations for this very reason and they would be seeking her input and her final decision. Planning this in the short time they had, would be a nightmare in itself.

They would need to reevaluate their optimal locations now that the Hosnian system was no more. That was still so hard to believe. The New Republic, the people, and everything she had tried so hard to fight for in that system was gone. It was Alderaan all over again. Her home on Hosnian Prime, where she had made a life for herself for years, gone. Everything she left behind, gone. Any allies they had in the government, gone. This was a massive shake-up that would need to be considered in all future plans.

And Han was back. For good now. That was a comfort. Someone she could count on for support professionally, emotionally. He was so in tune with her and willing to go where she needed him, be what she needed him to be. And right now, she desperately needed help with…

Ben. The overarching, most important element in her life right now. But wasn’t he always? She always strived to make him a priority in her life ever since he took his first breath. Doing the best she knew how to love and provide for him. Comfort him. Do what she thought was best, even when that meant sending him away. What she thought was best. Only that turned out to be an utter failure for all of them, for all of the galaxy. 

Both Han and Leia were heartbroken when he left. Even she didn’t realize how much of their life together had grown to revolve around their son. The hole he left in both their hearts only festered as the years past. She became more and more involved with her work in the Senate. And it became her new life. 

But now she felt her priorities shift again. She had a son again and she would take care of him. She needed to do this right. This was it, her last chance. 

Through her musings, she found that her eyes were glued to that person. Her mind no longer wandering in hypotheticals as it had for years, no more ‘if onlys.’ Now she had his physical presence before her, to see and to touch.

To touch. She stood from her chair, her feet taking her closer than she had gone before to her son. As she neared his side, her steps got slower and slower. 

From this angle, she could see that he was wearing a black shirt under the sheets that were pulled to his shoulders. And what massive shoulders. He grew into a larger man than she ever expected. He certainly didn’t take after her in that regard. 

She felt her leg bump against the bed frame. Lifting her right hand out, she let it rest on the lump under the sheets, his knee. Her son. She let her hand linger for a moment, her eyes closed. Yes, he still had his solid walls up around his mind, but she could sense him like she hadn’t been able to with their distance. He felt present in a way he hadn’t felt in years.

She took another step, her hand lifting to his own that rested on his chest. Even with the large sparkling sapphire on her finger, her hand looked so small compared. She brushed her fingers over his before fitting her palm over him and giving it a gentle squeeze. 

She took one last step. There was still some room on the bed between his chest and the edge. She figured she could fit in that space. So she sat aside him, her body twisted towards his head, his face. 

She unlocked their hands and raised it to her son’s cheek, her thumb slowly rubbing his skin. A silent single tear fell from her eye.

“Leia…” her husband said from outside the force shield.

She was only momentarily sidetracked, letting him through, and returned her attention to the way the Force hummed within her. Almost welcoming her family back. 

“He’s so much bigger than I ever imagined,” she found herself admitting out loud. 

Her husband kept himself a few paces behind her, just watching, seemingly enraptured by the scene and happy to listen to her talk.

“And his hair. Han, did you notice the haircut?” Her fingers laced through the locks as she spoke.

She heard Han rumble a smirking affirmative.

“Come here.” She gestured for him to come closer. He complied and sat himself on the bed behind her, still able to see Ben, his hands anchoring himself to her leg and shoulder. 

She leaned upright, taking herself out of her individual musings. She opened her mouth, finding it hard to speak the truth she had know all along.

“I love him, Han. I can’t help it.” She brought her hand back to her son’s and held on tighter than ever before. “I know what he’s done. I know more than most people the pain he’s caused. The lives he’s ruined, but Han… I still love him.”

“I know, Leia.” He felt his head droop, his chin landing on her shoulder. “So do I.”

They didn’t realize there was another being in the room, conscious and present.

Rey had quietly slipped in beside the door, just outside the shield, and remained still, listening to the pair’s observations about the man who’s mind she had seen. The complexities of the man lying asleep confounded her, but the fear and the struggles she saw were so human and so deserving of compassion that she felt compelled to protect him. The defensiveness and hurt he showed when he learned Rey’s relationship with his father. He was someone who deserved her compassion.

She watched unnoticed as the scene unfolded in front of her.

Leia kept her one hand locked with her son’s and moved the other to connect with the side of his face. She was transported back in time, when her little boy would come to her with nightmares and ask her to make them go away. Her hands would cup his head as she took all the bad stuff out and filled the space with warmth, peace, and love. So that’s what she did.

He still had his armor up around his mind. But she flooded the space with all the true love and acceptance she and his father felt for him. ‘Come home.’ The hope they had for him back then and the hope they saw in him now. ‘Ben Solo is alive.’ The heartache and deep regrets they felt from his absence. ‘We miss you.’

Leia pictured a whirling hurricane of love spinning through his Force presence, swallowing him with the gift she was giving. 

They didn’t realize there was another being in the room, very conscious and very present.

The bed didn’t move, the man stayed still and continued his steady breathing. But the patient was awake, mind conscious, feeling every movement and listening to every word. Waiting.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all the notes! I'm so happy last chapter got a good reception!
> 
> The next two chapters and a bit lighter and fill in some important gaps before either Kylo Ren or Ben Solo wakes up. So sorry to those of you who were hyped for that reveal... patience!
> 
> Enjoy!

_She was furious. Han was due back from a run that had kept him away for the past week. She should be rolling out the red carpet to welcome him back home, but no… she was raging._

_Ben, on the other hand, was thrilled to be able to invite his friend Loki over for a play date. The boys had spent the better part of their day in the living area flying their spaceships around the room._

_She was in her office, trying and failing to focus on closing up her work for the day. In the kitchen she could hear BX-778 creating some sort of fish dish for their dinner. They both agreed they needed a culinary droid the moment they settled into Chandrila. Han wasn’t a bad cook, but Leia… He still wasn’t entirely convinced she wasn’t trying to kill him with the one spice dish she made early on in their marriage._

_She heard the front door open. Her spine went ramrod straight. She steeled herself for a fight._

_“Hey, where’s my family?” He called, completely oblivious to the atmosphere he was walking into._

_“Daddy!” Ben ran to the front to greet him. At least he had one pleasant welcome._

_“Hey, kid. I missed you,” Han said back, using one hand to pull Ben up and give his head a kiss. “How’s my little man?”_

_“I gots a play date with Loki!” A second little boy with shaggy brown hair followed his friend to the front of the apartment._

_“Hey, Loki,” Han greeted. “You and Ben havin’ fun?”_

_Loki nodded vigorously and Ben answered for both of them. “We’s playing spaceship.”_

_“Nice, kid,” Han put his son back on his feet. “Where you flyin’ to today?”_

_Ben jumped to his toes with all the energy he had inside him. “We’s flyin’ to Naboo!” Loki grinned and jumped with his friend._

_Han lit up. “Well, I just came from Naboo. What a coincidence.”_

_Ben and Loki didn’t respond as they ran off, back to their spaceship._

_Han just grinned after them as he walked further into his home, looking forward to another greeting._

_He saw there was light coming from her office, so he turned the corner… and regretted it immediately._

_“Hey, sweetheart,” he began, but he knew that would not be enough to thaw the version of his wife that stood before him._

_She was surrounded by the holos that were still lit and buzzing. Her feet planted squarely on the floor, hands on her hips, mouth twisted to one side, and eyes shooting arrows directly at him._

_He slumped his shoulders. “What did I do?” Immediate surrender, that was his only hope of getting out of this alive._

_“Lando messaged me.” Three words, that’s all she needed to say._

_He looked to the ceiling. “Leia…”_

_“Don’t ‘Leia’ me,” she quipped back._

_He just rolled his head. Doshing Lando._

_“Were you even going to tell me?”_

_He scoffed before admitting, “No.”_

_“How were you planning to keep this secret?”_

_He shrugged. “Was gonna wear a shirt tonight…”_

_She rolled her eyes as she moved to turn off the few items of work that she was now completely done with for the night._

_“It’s almost healed already.” He defended himself. “You can’t even see the black eye anymore.”_

_“Black eye!” She shouted turning back to him in horror._

_The giggles coming from the other room reminded her where they were and what ears were there to hear._

_“Han,” she made sure all her classified materials were put away before walking past him out of the room. “Get over here.”_

_He followed like a child who was caught in the act, but ready to fight back._

_She managed to walk nonchalantly past the living area where the two boys were contently playing, and into their bedroom._

_As soon as the door shut, she turned to him with the same spitfire he remembered from their years on Hoth._

_“You got into a bar fight with your client?”_

_He placed his hands on his hips and stood taller. “Just a little one.”_

_“That’s not what Lando said.”_

_“Oh really, what else did Lando say about me?”_   
_“You’re reckless and immature.”_

_“Reckless!” He scoffed. “Me?”_

_“No, my other husband.”_

_He only had to pause a moment to process and understand she was hurling an angry joke. “Very funny.”_

_She took advantage of his momentary stupor to attach her hands to his shirt and work at the buttons._

_He moved his hands to hers. “Stop takin’ my shirt off.” A sentence he never thought he would say._

_She kept going until she opened enough buttons to reveal the fading but present black and blue marks that colored his stomach._

_“Han Solo…” She exclaimed with indignation._

_He stopped fighting her and let her look. A smug look grew on his face as he tried to break her ire. “You should see the other guy.”_

_It didn’t work. “Do I have to watch you every second of every day, like I’m your mother!”_

_He inhaled and stuck his finger out at her. “Hey, it’s not your job to be followin’ up on me and all.”_

_“Well then what does this mean?” She lifted up her hand with the blue stoned ring and held it in front of his face._

_He swatted her hand away from his face. “Well, then it’s good you’ve never found yourself in any compromising situations, your worshipfulness.”_

_She scoffed. “Not like you, flyboy."_

_“Oh yeah?” He challenged. “You punched that reporter who tried to get a photo.”_

_Her hands went to her hips. “It was a swat and he had it coming.”_

_“Ha!” He laughed taking a step closer to her._

_“You’re one to talk. This is the third fight you’ve been in this year alone.”_

_“Second!” He said with full confidence. “The first one didn’t count.”_

_She took a step towards him, her blood at its boiling point. “Only because I stepped in and saved your ass… again!”_

_He pointed another finger at her. “I had to rescue you from the Death Star!”_

_“I had to rescue you from Jabba!” She took one step closer and swatted his finger away._

_He opened his mouth to speak, but didn’t have anything else to say, so he yelled out, “Are we gonna keep doing this or kiss and make up!”_

_She opened her mouth wide with her answer. “Well I’ve been waiting but you’re too tall and…”_

_All further words were cut off by his mouth on hers. Without another second to lose, he drew her possessively towards him and ran his hands up and down her back. Leia was just ready for this as she moved her active hands to forcefully rip open the rest of his shirt. She ran her hands over his bare chest and up over his shoulders, careful to avoid the bruises but allowing her nails to dig in and mark his skin. Their tongues continued their war, releasing moans and groans as the battle commenced._

_He felt himself walking backward and fell back onto the bed as soon as his legs hit the edge, pulling her down on top of him. Her legs quickly found purchase on either side of him as her hips drove into his._

_Breaking her mouth from his for barely a second she uttered her greeting. “Welcome home.”_

_“Leia…” he groaned in actual pain as he felt her hips move and her mouth descend again._

_“Daddy. Mommy.” A little voice uttered from way closer than they were comfortable._

_Their heads turned at the same time to see their little person directly in their sightline._

_Han practically threw her off of him and into a standing position._

_“Sweetie!” Leia exclaimed, on her feet and moving towards her son who was positioned at the end of their bed. “What is it?"_

_Han sat up on the side of the bed with his back to his son, a necessity until he could calm down._

_“Can we have a snack?”_

_It didn’t matter that dinner was almost ready and they would spoil their appetite. She answered, “Absolutely, sweetie,” as she guided his shoulders to the door. “Ask BX to get you something. One snack each.”_

_“Tanks!” Ben exclaimed as he ran back down the hall._

_Han was still breathing heavily as he turned to look back at his wife. She exhaled fully and placed her hand on her head, leaning her weight against the door frame. They didn’t hear what Loki might have asked, but they sure did hear Ben’s answer._

_“They’s just kissin’ in there.”_

* * *

She had just left Ben’s side and was preparing to head straight to an impromptu meeting with her high ranking officers before addressing the full troops. When she left, Ben was still out and she suspected he would be for the next few hours at least.

“I need you with me Han,” she said when he suggested that he stay with Ben. Their son was well protected for this short time.

“You need me,” Han repeated her words. “I like the sound of that.” He followed her like an obedient pet through the hallways, passing soldiers who gave her a respectful nod as she walked by. She kept quite a pace. His knees were definitely starting to feel their age.

“Yes,” her focus back on the job at hand. “I need you and Finn, Poe and Rey. Everyone who was involved in the successful operation.”

“You wanna show me off?” He tried to get a reaction out of her. Gods he missed her, missed the comfort he felt when he was around her and their banter. In the middle of all of this mess, he felt joyful again.

He got a reaction from her, but not one he liked. He could see the sly curve of her mouth in her profile as she spoke. “The whole base wants to get a good look at Mr. Organa.”

He wrinkled his nose. “They don’t call me that… at least not anymore.”

She chuckled at his distaste for that name. “Oh but they do.”

Han didn’t seem to believe her. “We gettin’ medals again?” 

She shook her head with a sigh. Gods she missed him, the way their small talk could put her at ease. “No time to prepare medals for you, hotshot.”

“Dosh,” he pretended to be upset before thinking of a better solution. “I’ll take my reward in another way then.”

“You made that sound dirty.”

“And if I did…” He reached his hand to brush the back of her arm. 

“Han, not here!” She admonished while picking up the pace. 

He dropped it while they continued their walk until they came upon Poe in the control room.

“General,” he addressed her. “The troops are gathering in the hanger now.”

“Very good Poe.”

“And Admiral Ackbar wanted to brief you on the potential base locations before the end of the day.”

She nodded and tried to fit that into her schedule. “Can we do that during dinner? I want to move my late night with Admiral Statura up an hour.”

Poe seemed to contemplate the timing. “Is anytime before dinner possible? We could move our inventory review to tomorrow.”

She shook her head. “We need to review inventory today, yesterday if that was possible.”

Han was watching the scene, his obviously overworked wife was once again shouldering all the responsibility. And her shoulders were only so big.

“Leia…”

She knew he would try to step in, so she was ready. “Don’t do it.”

“What?” He shrugged, defensive. 

She turned to him with the same spitfire he remembered from their years on Hoth. “I know what you’re thinking and I’m telling you to stay out of it.”

He ignored her and vocalized his thought anyway. “You need to take it easy.”

So he wanted to do this, did he? Well she was ready with a sweet condescending smile. “Han, stop trying to be my father. I don’t need to be protected.” 

He almost choked on his own saliva at her words. “Father? Don’t you have enough fathers?”

Aha, that was a good one, even she had to silently admit it.

He thought for a moment and came back swinging. “And yes you do need protection. Who the hell do you think saved you worship all those times in the…”

“Saved me?” She could almost laugh, but she tried to keep her voice at a level that was one notch below yelling. “You put us in more danger.”

“I did not…”

“You’re reckless and immature…”

He stuck a finger out at her face and hissed, “And here I thought you were going to give me my reward later tonight.”

“Oh you’ll get what you deserve alright.” She grabbed his stretched hand and shoved it aside. “You cannot order me around.”

“Oh yeah! Then what does this mean?” He lifted up her hand with the blue stoned ring and held it in front of her face.

She ripped her ringed hand from his as soon as she could. “Obey was never in our contract.”

“There was a contract?”

Poe, looking on with more awe than embarrassment, spoke up. “General, maybe we can talk about this later.”

She turned to Poe and grabbed his shoulder. Her voice still at the same tenor. “No Poe, I want to straighten this out now. Just ignore him.”

Han crossed his arms and his jaw shook. “You know, fine. Ignore me…”

“Easily done,” she interrupted under her breath.

Poe tried again to get out of this. “Look General…” He turned to the other man and searched for a name. “…Mr. Organa, I was just trying to get a time…”

“Mr. Organa?” Han said aghast and then turned to Leia. “You told him to say that!”

She laughed out loud. “I did not!”

“Fine. Have a laugh.” He stood there, waiting for her to finish. 

When she had her fill, she turned back to Han, his eyes still furiously boring into hers. 

As she turned her head, she saw the crowd they had drawn. With a flick of her robes, she marched to her office right off of the control center and opened the door. “Han, get in here.” The threat in her tone would scare anyone out of their mind. “Poe, I will keep our meeting at dinner time. Everyone else, back to work.”

Han followed her with his own determined haughtiness, slamming the door shut behind them. 

As soon as the door was sealed, muffled angry voices rose to a fevered pitch faster than Poe had thought possible. He watched as most of the other onlookers eventually moved along, only taking curious glances at the noise from the closed door. 

Poe himself decided he had seen enough to make sure he would never, ever get married. He turned to move away, but then he heard a crash from the other room. Another crash followed by silence. Did they kill each other? He tried to busy himself with following a scene on one of the near holo boards, but he found his eyes laser-focused on her office door. 

Han came out first, casually glancing around the busy hub with his hands on his hips. His demeanor was certainly much calmer than when he entered. 

“Hey, Dameron,” the man called, beckoning him with a wave of his hand.

Poe pressed his lips into his mouth as he stepped towards the man, coming up to the open office door. “What is it?”

“She wants all the ranking officers in here before she addresses the entire base,” Han informed the younger man. 

Poe looked past the man in the doorway and saw the General standing over her desk, shuffling a few holos before smoothing a loose strand of hair back into its place. Everything looked alright. Proceeding as normal.

“Yes, sir,” Poe nodded. He was stopped right before he moved by the General’s voice.

“Poe,” she said as she gestured him further into her office. 

He tilted past the older man to stand in front of her.

She continued to glance through a holo pad as she spoke. “Tell Admiral Ackbar to fill you in on base prospects and that he is to take your opinion into the highest consideration. Admiral Statura will give me all the information I need during our evening briefing.”

Poe heard her but was finding it hard to comprehend.

“And I’m trusting you to take over inventory duties.” She looked up at him briefly before continuing to glance through the device in her hands. “Bring in a number two, maybe Connix, to help you.”

“Yes, General.” He felt his chest swell as the extra trust and responsibility settled in.

He waited for any more orders and when they didn’t come, he made a quick nod and moved towards the door. He turned back as he heard her speak.

“Happy?”

Poe’s shocked and jubilant, “Very much so,” came out at the same time as Han’s triumphant, “Yes, sweetheart.”

Without tilting her head up, she raised her eyes to look between them, her lips curving and clearly amused.

“Good.”


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again to all who leave notes! I so appreciate it. Enjoy!

_“You heading to the Falcon today?” Leia asked as she took a sip of her morning kaff, still in her tank top and sleep pants._

_Han swallowed his own drink and nodded. “I should give her a good cleaning and engine check before my next trip.”_

_“You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”_

_He nodded while running a hand through his scruffy locks, looking even scruffier with his morning bed-head. Han hesitated before asking. “You want me to take the kid for the day, don’t you?”_

_Leia’s lips sealed together and her eyes went anywhere but to her husband. “I have a pile of briefs to get through…”_

_“Leia, it’s your day off,” he admonished her for overworking._

_Her eyes shot to his. “It’s yours too and you’re working through it.” She watched as his shoulders shrugged and his loose nightshirt flopped around his chest._

_“Fine, I’ll take the kid…” He put his mug down on the table and stood from his place at their kitchen table, moving towards the hall. “Ben!” He called. “You’re comin’ to the Falcon with me today, so you better get ready.”_

_Han stood, waiting for an answer. They got their answer when their little Ewok came running down the hall with two large blankets in both his hands, a brilliant smile illuminating the entire room as soon as he walked in. “I’s making a fort today!”_

_Leia turned to her boy who was still in his own sleep clothes and lifted one side of her mouth. “Are you now?”_

_Ben nodded and stepped past them into the living space, doing his best not to step on the blankets he was dragging. “I’s making it in here.”_

_“Okay, buddy.” Han checked the time. “But we have to leave soon so no mess.”_

_Ben didn’t acknowledge the statement as he threw both the blankets on the sofa and began to work._

_Han turned away from Ben to address Leia. “I’ll message Chewie and tell him I’ll be there soon.”_

_She nodded his way as he went into the office to make his call. Standing from her own chair she started making her way to get changed for the day, but her eyes caught sight of Ben and his fort process._

_He was currently working on stretching one blanket from the sofa to the table in front of it, but without much success. She grinned at the effort her little boy was putting into stretching the blanket over the one side, only to have the other side cave in._

_“Mommy,” the little voice called out to her. “A help.”_

_She put down her mug and joined him in the living area, analyzing the situation._

_“What’s happening?” She asked him, feigning ignorance._

_“It keeps falling,” he reported, just as another corner sunk into the fort. His frustrated little face was priceless._

_“Okay,” she clapped her hands together. “How about we put something heavy on top of this side of the blanket so it won’t fall in.”_

_Leia used the bowl decoration on the table to hold that side steady and then tucked the other end into the couch cushions._

_“How does that look?” She asked the architect. He had already squirmed under the little tent, so she bent down to peek at him._

_He was on his belly, his feet kicking out behind him as he squealed in delight. “I’s has a fort!”_

_She nodded at him, building off his excitement. “You certainly do!”_

_He came crawling out towards her and started running back down the hallway._

_“Where are you going?” She called as he flashed by._

_He appeared a moment later with his stuffed Ewok. “It needs friends!” He said in passing as he crawled back into his fort._

_Bending at the waist, Leia leaned over and peeked back into his new home away from home. “Any room for me in there?”_

_Ben looked around and didn’t see a clear spot. “No, you’s too big.”_

_Leia was ready to problem solve that. “Well we’ll just need to make the fort bigger.”_

_Upon hearing that new idea, Ben crawled out towards her. “Yeah, bigger!”_

_She went for the other blanket he brought out. “We’ll build an addition.”_

_Ben was on his feet, dancing with excitement. “Yeah, an addition! To make it big!”_

_Just like the first time, they spread out another blanket to cover the other half of the sofa and table, making it a very skinny, long tent._

_Ben was antsy waiting to climb back in, his feet jumping back and forth as his Mommy finished weighing down the blanket with other knick-knacks and toys lying around._

_“Here, Ben. We can bring the pillows from the sofa in the fort to make it comfy.” She threw the pillows over to him and watched as he nearly caught them._

_She pulled the last pillow off the sofa and crouched herself down, ready to crawl into their creation. She saw Ben doing the same thing from the other side as he shoved a pillow in before crawling in himself with his Ewok in his hands._

_“What do you think?” Leia asked, laying on her stomach with the pillow under her elbows._

_Ben had his head on his own pillow and turned onto his back to look up. “Good!” He exclaimed as he reached his Ewok up to touch the top of the blanket. He was so worked up, his feet couldn’t stop moving, kicking the floor beneath him._

_“Ben, we gotta go,” Han said as he walked through the hall back to the living area. He was momentarily halted by the scene he found. From the looks of the blankets, their fort making had been a success. “Where’s my family?” His son was nowhere in sight, but his wife’s legs sticking out on the floor gave him a clue as to her whereabouts._

_He heard a collection of giggling before Ben’s head peeked out at him from his hiding spot. “Hi Daddy!”_

_Han folded his arms as he observed their creation. “You done good, kid.”_

_“Mommy helped,” Ben admitted._

_“Oh did she help,” Han repeated as he watched Leia’s legs flip up and cross. “Can I come in?”_

_“What’s the password?” He heard his wife’s voice muffled through the ‘walls’ of their fortress._

_“Yeah, password!” Ben played along, his grin beaming more by the minute._

_Han made a face that looked like he was thinking intently before his eureka moment. “Ben has stinky feet!”_

_Ben rolled onto his back with laughter. “No!”_

_Han tried again. “Mommy has stinky feet!”_

_“No!” The muffled voice spoke again with a firm deny. “Try one more time, hotshot.”_

_He pretended to think again and then uttered the password with disbelief. “Daddy has stinky feet?”_

_“Ding, ding, ding!” Leia created the sound effects as Ben kept on laughing._

_Han continued to play along. “Alright now! Can my stinky feet come into your fort?”_

_Ben turned back to his stomach and looked around at the limited space. “No, you’s too big.”_

_“No stinky feet allowed,” Leia added._

_Ben scampered back into his fort to face his Mommy with an idea he had. “We’s can add an addition.”_

_Leia smirked. “You think we should?”_

_Han was listening to their ‘secret’ conversation._

_“I guess we can,” Leia signed in mock reluctance. “Since he guessed the password…”_

_Leia and Ben crawled their way out to relate the good news to their latest fort building partner._

_“We need more blankets,” Leia observed._

_Han had a solution. “We can use a sheet,” and he moved back through the hallway to get it._

_“And bring the comforter from our bed, Han.” Her mind was really going now. “We can use it to lay on.”_

_Han heard her and added his own idea. “And we can bring that stargazer light…”_

_“Good idea!” Leia was already hustling back to Ben’s room to get the light._

_Their littlest builder just stood stock still as his parents moved around, now rallying around his idea. “It’s the best fort ever!”_

_And it was. Hours later the family laid in their much-expanded fort that took up most of the living area with high chairs and multiple sheets draped around. The family laid on their backs on top of a mountain of pillows and the soft comforter, eyes trained to the sky. The light machine was currently projecting hundreds of tiny stars on their fortress’s ceiling. Leia’s head rested against Han’s stomach and Ben’s head rested on hers. Ben’s Ewok laid on his own stomach. Any previously conceived ideas of what they would do that day were long forgotten._

_Ben pointed at a specific glowing dot. “I’s gonna fly the Falcon to that star when I’m bigger.”_

_Han turned to the young boy, hearing what he said, his heart swelling with pride._

_“Well,” Leia sighed. “I think I officially lost the ‘Ben should follow in my footsteps’ battle.”_

_She watched as Ben’s head tilted back to look at her, an amused smile lighting up his face. He suddenly turned towards his father and she saw that Han had taken his hand, gently tugging the boy’s arm._

_“We would be honored to have you, kid.”_

* * *

They were gathered in her private office, prepared as best as they could be to face the music. She had just finished addressing her highest commanding officers and revealing her long-held secret to them.

Shocked is the best word she could use to describe their emotions. Ben Solo went MIA after the destruction of the Jedi school years ago and that was all they knew. And this new news brought a host of questions.

“Are you stepping down from your position as General?” _A resounding no._

“Is it safe to keep him here?” _Yes, it is my responsibility to assure everyone’s safety._

“How did this happen?” Admiral Ackbar asked the last question she would allow before addressing the rest of the troops.

She sighed, already exhausted from this conversation. “I don’t know, Admiral. I sent him to train with Luke so he wouldn’t let the darkness rule over him. But Snoke got through to him. We couldn’t stop him.” She straightened her shoulders and addressed him directly, letting her honest truth out. “I blame myself for the rise of Kylo Ren. He’s _my_ son.”

Han spoke up from the corner wall he had melded himself into as she spoke. “Takes two to tango.”

“I remember the tango, Han,” she scoffed not appreciating his interruption.

He wasn’t going to let that statement lie, so he stood from his spot along the back wall to stand behind her. He pressed his lips into the back of her head. “Still not your fault.”

She didn’t have time to contradict him as it was time to start her larger speech.

The entire party walked together to the neighboring hanger where the mass of troops had gathered, their large numbers more intimidating than ever before.

Chewie, Rey, Finn, and Poe stood close to the front, as they were told to because of their role in the most recent exercise. 

General Organa lead their group to the front of the main hanger where they were assembled. She stepped up to the tall platform and held her prepared remarks on her holopad. The crowd hushed as they saw their fearless leader begin her remarks.

“Warm greeting my fellow, Resistance.” Her voice was everything that she was wrapped together in a single brilliant package. Firm but soft, commanding but compassionate, optimistic but realistic. “The status quo has shifted. This is a time of change, filled with great sorrow and the elation that comes with victory. The Hosnian system is gone and so is any hope the galaxy had in the New Republic.”

She swallowed, driving her point home with inflection. “You are now the faces the galaxy will put their hope in. We should revel in this victory, for ourselves and for the galaxy. But we must remain focused on our goal.

“During the operation on Starkiller base officers Solo, Chewbacca, and Finn landed on the base to deactivate the shields and to rescue Rey. They succeeded on all accounts and helped to open the oscillator that officer Dameron and his team successfully targeted. All involved in this operation are to be highly congratulated and will be so recognized in the coming months.”

She pretended to look at the holopad in her hands, but really she was gathering up the last of her courage for what she was about to say next. “The ground operation pulled out another success that requires recognition and transparency. The team successfully seized and exfiltrated the First Order officer going by the name Kylo Ren…”

She was forced to pause at the hushed clamor rising through the ranks at that news. 

“Kylo Ren has been a Dark Jedi for 7 years now and was heavily influenced by Supreme Leader Snoke. I will reiterate that the Supreme Leader is our main target. Kylo Ren is a soldier and not a Sith Lord.” A brief pause as she waited for everyone’s full attention. “Before he was known as Kylo Ren, he was known as… Ben Organa Solo and trained with Luke Skywalker.”

She didn’t feel anything, held no emotion in her voice as she continued without listening for or hearing any reactions.

“Because of his circumstances and the power he possesses, he is now under my protection and my responsibility. He is a political prisoner for the time being and will be referred to as such at my discretion. I implore everyone who has questions to bring them to me directly and they will be addressed. I reiterate, I am taking full authority and liability for him.” Meaning, if anything goes wrong, she was to blame. 

“I have given my life to the causes I care about, furthering democracy, negotiating peace agreements between systems, seeing that the full rights of citizens are upheld.” Now, she let her passion and emotions show. “I have done this during times of peace and during times of war, always trying my best to rise to the moment and do what was needed of me.

“As we move forward together, I ask you each to recommit to the reason we are all here today. Take great pride in and celebrate this victory. Then let’s come together again and fight for the galaxy we want…” she paused before her emphasis, “…our children to live in.”

There were some claps and hollers of celebration as she finished, that was actually more than she expected after the new revelation. Admiral Ackbar stepped to the platform after she stepped down, he would review their evacuation procedures and remind the troops they would be relocating in the next week.

Leia stepped over to the crew where Han had gathered, beside Finn, Poe, Chewie, and Rey. She stepped right in front of him and his hands immediately went to rub her back, hidden from most people’s gaze.

“You did good, sweetheart,” he said as he placed his lips again on the back of her head. 

She appreciated the subtle gesture, but it didn’t make her feel any better

Rey was standing right beside them looking more than a little intimidated to be standing beside the General of the entire Resistance. Still, she let her voice be heard. “From an outsider’s opinion, I thought your words were an inspiration.” She was truly feeling overwhelmed and felt her budding sense of belonging grow. “I want to be on the right side of this too.”

Leia turned to the young girl, hearing what she said, her heart swelling with pride. 

“Well,” Han sighed behind both of them. “I think I lost my new crew member.”

He watched as Rey’s head tilted back to look at him, an amused smile lighting up her face. Her face suddenly turned down and he saw that Leia had taken her hand, gently tugging the girl’s arm.

“We would be honored to have you, Rey.”

Their quiet moment was broken by Admiral Ackbar’s closing remarks and the team broke up after that. Leia was adamant to get away from the crowd as soon as possible, let the news sink in, and then be available to answer to anyone’s concerns. She turned around to face Han right as Admiral Ackbar was descending the podium.

“I’ll go check on Ben,” she said, tapping his arm as she walked past him.

“Coward,” he whispered in her ear as she moved away. “Ow!” He then exclaimed as she pinched him before letting go and hurrying off.

Walking through the winding halls of their base, she knew she was going to miss this place. They had been here for the last year at least. It became comfortable, a new family to care for and protect. A consolation family, never coming close to the family she lost.

She finally came to the door where her true family lay, where her heart still lay. She opened the door without hesitation and was immediately shaken by the sight before her.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're cooking with gas friends! If you leave a note on any chapter, please let it be this one. I would love to know your thoughts on how I have interpreted Kylo Ren/Ben Solo. He finally enters the story in a big way!
> 
> As always, thanks so much for reading!

_It had been a long day. And it was unfortunate that the day was only halfway over. Ben’s child care was on break and Han was away for a few nights, so it was just her and her son. Together. All-day. She was so overwhelmed, she was forced to bring T-2LC, the protocol droid, back into their home temporarily. But only because she was run ragged by the time she got home and needed someone to give her a break._

_She didn’t trust the droid alone with Ben all day. That meant bringing him into the Senate building with her and attempting to keep a toddler entertained all day in a government building. The first day started out strong. Her staff absolutely adored Ben and he enchanted them with drawings and his funny antics. The second day was more challenging. Ben brought some of his own spaceship toys, but he wasn’t content to play by himself. So Leia spent most of her day playing his copilot and getting nothing done._

_This was the third day and it was already a full day’s worth of struggle._

_That is how she found herself on the floor of her office with three different holopads spread all over and a chatty little boy sitting behind her with his hands in her hair because he wanted to, as he said, ‘do braids.’_

_“Mommy,” he said taking a clump of her hair in his hand. “I’s doing a fancy braid.”_

_“Um-hum…” she said, making a silent face as he yanked her head to the right. Her son was just as obsessed with her hair as his father. Only Ben usually liked to feel the texture of her braids through his fingers. Now, to keep him entertained, she was giving him free rein. It was a shame though, she had a particularly perfect style this morning when she left the house._

_She looked at the clock. “Ben, Mommy has a meeting in a few minutes and I need to have my braids finished by then.”_

_He shrugged as he gave up and sat back against the sofa. “I’s done.”_

_She touched the back of her head. Funny, for how long he had been ‘doing braids’ she didn’t feel any back there._

_“Thank you sweetie. Can I have my brush back, please?”_

_He handed it to her from his place on the sofa._

_Standing with her brush and holopad, she went back to her desk._

_“I’s gonna fly to Alderaan,” he announced as he took one of his toy ships from the floor and whizzed it towards the model of her home planet on a side shelf._

_She half watched him while preparing for her meeting. “Be careful with Alderaan. I don’t need my home destroyed a second time.”_

_Ben made whirling sounds as his spaceship flew around the planet._

_She saw Ben was being careful, so she turned her attention back to her upcoming meeting while quickly tying her hair into a simple crown braid design, reaching into her top left desk drawer and pulling out hairpins as needed._

_She was meeting with a representative from Onderon. As a recent Empire stronghold, the new government was having difficulty controlling the imperial riots that were turning deadly. Leia hoped the New Republic would be able to support their efforts._

_Ben’s whirling sounds stopped, a sign that told her he was about to be bored again._

_“Ben, you want to look at the map with me?” She said as she finished her hairstyle._

_He nodded, placing his spaceship down on the nearest surface and walking towards her._

_She lifted him into her lap and turned on the galaxy holo that immediately filled the room._

_“Where’s us?” Ben asked, moving to kneel on her lap to be closer to the projections._

_Leia moved the image a little to bring Chandrila closer to them. “Here’s where we are,” she pointed._

_Ben tried to reach the hologram. “And Alderaan’s not here.”_

_She shook her head. Ben had heard the stories of her home planet many times. “No, Alderaan’s not here.” Leia moved the map to focus on a different system. “Mommy’s meeting with someone from here.” She pointed again. “This is called Onderon.”_

_Ben reached out and tried to touch these planets as well._

_“My job,” she started to explain. “Is to help Onderon become more independent, relying more on the systems who are in the New Republic and less on the systems who still have Imperial presence.”_

_Ben’s right eye twitched. It had always twitched when he was confused. “What’s Im-perial?” He asked, keeping his focus on the glowing image._

_She welcomed his question. “It’s the people who used to be in charge of the galaxy.”_

_“They’s bad?”_

_Leia nodded. “They did some bad things, yes. They abused the power they had. They believed that one supreme leader should have a lot of power in making decisions. I believe that the Senate, where there are lots of people, and the independent planets should make more decisions.”_

_Ben was quiet for a while._

_“What are you thinking?”_

_Ben pointed back to Onderon. “I thinks I’ll fly there when I’m big.”_

_She smirked and shook her head. He was not her child._

_“Senator,” her secretary buzzed in. “The representative from Onderon has arrived.”_

_“Send them in,” Leia replied as she turned off the map and stood._

_Ben understood someone else was coming in and he wasn’t ready for that, so he raised his arms asking to be picked up. Leia complied and carried him around to the front of her desk._

_“Senator Organa,” the woman dressed in her robes entered with an air that meant she was a politician._

_“Ambassador Torr. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” Leia reached out her hand in greeting as if she didn’t have a little bundle clinging to her neck._

_“Good to see you too.” The woman shook hands, but her eyes went right to the little boy. “And this is your son.”_

_Leia brought her hand back to bounce her 3-year-old. “This is Ben. Can you say hi?”_

_Ben just brought his head back into his Mommy’s shoulder._

_“Are you helping your Mom at work today?” The Ambassador cooed. “Are you following in her footsteps?”_

_Leia just smiled and shook her head. “No, he’s going to be a pilot.”_

* * *

Leia opened the door without hesitation and was immediately shaken by the sight before her.

He was waiting standing on the far side of the quarters. His bulky frame seemed to take up all the space in the room. The force with which he planted his feet secured him to the space, commanded the space. His fingers were clenched in his hands and arms weighted at his sides. Face stoic, determined, confident. His entire being was a facade of control. That was the key, she believed it was a facade.

She closed the door behind her, not daring to take any more steps at this time. “Ben.” Her voice started soft, a whispered plea.

The man before her just shook his head, spoke in a deep voice that she didn’t recognize. “Ben is not here.”

Yes he is. She knew this was coming, as soon as she had the medics take him off the drip. He would eventually wake up and she would need to figure out what to say to him. She truly had no idea how this confrontation would go. Who was this man in front of her? So she began by simply responding to his statement. Her voice was sure and matched his confidence. “You are my son…”

“I am not!” He interrupted just as convinced, standing firm.

She actually scoffed at that. “I can say with the utmost confidence, I am your mother. I have the scars and stretch marks to prove it.”

“You’ve been a soldier longer than you’ve been a mother.” His words spit out like venom, but she remained calm.

“And yet, General is the title I hold of second greatest importance.” She hoped he understood the title she was most proud of.

He didn’t respond, continued to stare her down. “You have reason to fear me.”

She felt a force, maybe it was the Force, but something called for her to step forward. One step and then two and then one more to take her to the other side of the force shield. “Maybe I should be, but I’m not.”

“I would have killed Han Solo.” If her proximity put him on edge, he didn’t show it.

“I know.” Yes, he would have. She knew he would have if she wouldn’t have stepped in. And from this, the first conversation she has had with her son in years, she knew the chosen identity of the man standing in front of her.

That was all she said, he waited, but nothing else came from her mouth. “The Hosnian system is gone. The Galactic Senate is gone.”

“I know.” Her home had been destroyed a second time.

He tried again, his hands now clenching and unclenching. “The Supreme Leader knows where you are. It’s only a matter of time before he…”

That’s right, he didn’t know. “Starkiller Base has been destroyed, right after we got you out. Snoke can no longer obliterate our system.”

That didn’t seem to phase him. “The Supreme Leader will find another way.”

On that they both agreed. “I have no doubt, but we will be gone by then.”

“To your next base,” he stated before asking his question. “Where is it?”

She stared him down, her eyes squinting slightly. “I don’t know,” she said honestly.

He didn’t believe her. With a quick flip of his arm his hand extended towards her, fingers twitching as the power he held exuded. She felt him tease her out in the Force, nothing invasive, just a threat. “I could pull it from your mind…”

“You’ve been in my mind since before you were born,” she interrupted, her voice still calm and mind sharp. “I’ve never closed myself off from you.”

His right eye twitched. Anyone else would have missed it, but she knew her son. He was confused, surprised.

“You and I both know you could have used that connection to pull anything from my mind, battle plans, troop movements, names, base locations…”

“And I could still do it!” He lowered his hand as he hissed out his new threat.

“But you didn’t.” If this were any other situation, she would have let a smile cross her face. But she remained stoic, calm, controlled. She took another step forward. “And that is why I still have faith in my son.”

He lifted his chin, seemingly amused. “Then you are more foolish than I thought.” He turned himself to face the back wall, away from her. 

She could feel the ground beneath her shake as it sunk under his weight. She could sense his mind processing, wanting to ask her something.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

He asked like she should have known what he was talking about. “Tell you what?”

“About my grandfather! Your father!” He turned his head to the side as his voice echoed through the room.

She should have seen that question coming, but she didn’t have a ready answer. “That was a mistake. The second biggest regret in my life. Keeping it a secret, especially from you.”

“His blood runs through me…” The man stated.

“It runs through me, too,” she countered, surprised she vocalized that, as she had trouble admitting it to herself. ‘He wants to be like Vader.’ The words from Han and Rey coursed through her head. She took a step to the side, trying to get back into his sightline. “I was tortured by my own biological father.” 

“The Dark Lord had his reasons,” the man defended automatically. 

Leia continued, trying to highlight the brutality she felt. “He scraped through my mind until there was almost nothing left.”

“Yes, I’ve heard the story. You didn’t give up the location of the base.” He lifted his eyes from his sideways stance and found here there.

She stopped once he saw her again. “But through all that, he didn’t realize I was his daughter. Or did he… and he just didn’t care?”

Ben gave her a look like he wasn’t sure what to make of her. It seemed like he expected her to react with outward hostility or he wanted her to. He wanted her to be angry. He needed the anger, he fed off of it.

She exhaled through her nose, looking down briefly before bringing her eyes back to his. “This is what I should have told you a long time ago.”

The man in front of her stood still, steady and still. Listening.

“Did you know he was born a slave along with his mother?”

His eye twitched.

“Did you know he killed my mother, his wife, your grandmother?”

His eye twitched.

“Did you know he was standing right behind me as Tarkin destroyed Alderaan, just watching?”

His eye twitched again.

“He almost killed your father.” She paused. “Did you know he renounced the Dark side and saved his son before he died?”

He had heard that last argument before and lashed back, turning himself to face her fully once more. “Anakin Skywalker was weak.”

“Anakin Skywalker and Darth Vader were the same person,” she said back. “He struggled with the fears and illusions of power we both face every day.”

“He was strong,” the man insisted becoming angrier.

“No, he was human.” She didn’t let his growing anger frighten her. “The Dark side does not hold all the answers you seek, nor does the Light. It’s up to you to find the balance that Darth Vader never did.”

She was surprised when she saw his fingers unclench. “Darth Vader ruined you. Your career in the Senate. Your titles. Your reputation.”

She couldn’t deny that. “It did. The news of my bloodline was political suicide. They crucified me.” 

“And yet you still believe in it, in the system that you watched fail from the inside.” She was intrigued by his interest. He spoke like he was degrading her, but she sensed he was more curious than anything. “You’d still be willing to die for it.”

She narrowed her eyes at him and nodded tightly. “I would. Because it is the right thing to do.” Leia was feeling bold, wanting to push him. “Vader was keenly involved in politics, in the events that lead to the dismemberment of the old galactic senate.” She shook her head. “You are not.”

He didn’t deny it. “I never wanted to be a politician.”

She found an opening and took one step further, only a body’s length between them. “No, you wanted to be a pilot.”

His jaw ticked. She could tell his emotions were swimming, twisting, being pulled in all different directions. His tone was harsh, accusatory. “Yet you sent me to be a Jedi.”

This was the first time during this conversation that she felt her emotional wall slip. It was completely evident in the fall of her eyes, the deep regret she felt. “The number one… mistake I’ve ever made.” She shook her head. “I’m so sorry.”

She started moving her left hand towards his, hoping against hope that it would be received. It wasn’t. He stepped back before she could reach him.

“I have known you more intimately than anyone, since before you were born.” She turned her eyes back up to his. “I’ve felt the swirling emotions in your head since you were a child, your fears. I know Snoke used that to pull you. But I always,” she emphasized the word again. “Always, knew that the Ben Solo I know is stronger than that.”

She tried to reach out again, this time with words as her eyes connected with his. “Let me help you…”

His movement was much more sporadic than when she first came in. He hunched, shuffling his weight between his feet. “You think…” He turned his head away before bringing it back to center. “You can help me?” He said entirely unconvinced.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged and tried again more pleading than stating, “But more than anything else in the world I want to be able to look into your eyes and call you the name I gave you.”

He shook his head incredulously, his lips pressing together. “You don’t know me.” 

“But I do,” she said more confident than she had felt during this whole conversation. “I know you could break down my force shield and leave anytime you wanted to. You are far stronger than me.” She gestured to the field surrounding his room. “It’s not there to keep you in.”

The full understanding came slow to him, but he got there. “It’s there to keep them out,” he said as he let out a telling exhale. “And to delude them into feeling safe… from me.” His eyes met the floor as he hissed, “the monster.”

He was distracted. She reached for his hand again and latched on for a brief moment. “I trust you… And I believe in my son.” She let his hand go, not wanting to give him the opportunity to push it off. 

With her words she sealed her fate. She put everything she had worked for, her entire life’s accomplishments, the Organa name, the Skywalker name, into the hands of this man. Her legacy would be forever tied with what he would do next. It would be her fault if the Resistance base was destroyed at his hand. She made her choice. And her choice was believing in Ben Solo.

He was still silent until his bottom line was reached. His voice but a whisper. “What do you want from me?”

“I want you to stay.” The fact that he didn’t immediately reject or interrupt her meant something. “Listen to me. Hear what I am trying to say to you.”

He tucked his chin into his chest for a moment, his eyes drifting to her hands, her left hand with the sapphire set in gold, the recognization hitting him immediately. He blinked before raising his head again. His eyes once again cold. “You know I won’t.”

Yes. A mother’s love was not enough to keep Kylo Ren from leaving, surely leaving a trail of destruction in his wake. So she had another plan, one she may live to regret.

“Then stay for this reason.” She turned her eyes as cold as his were. “Luke will be here in a few days.” At least she hoped he would.

“You have the map.” 

“Yes, and it was destroyed as soon as we received the coordinates. We will find him and bring him here.” 

She watched as the man’s face processed this. With glee processed this. She was holding out a carrot in front of Kylo Ren, her brother playing the role of the carrot. 

“I’ll stay.” He simply stated, a side smirk appearing in the corner of his lips.

It was settled. She had less than a week to search for Luke Skywalker in the galaxy and less than a week to find Ben Solo in Kylo Ren.

She nodded at him, feeling guilty for pulling Luke into this trap, but wholly confident, or delusional, that she could get through to him and finally bring her son home. 

“Good,” she said nodding and taking a step backward towards the door. “I’m the only one who can enter now. I’ll bring you food and anything else you need. Only a few people know where you are, so you will be safe.”

He didn’t say anything as she stepped away, just continued to watch her.

As she reached the edge of the shield, she turned back to him. “What are you thinking?”

He turned his chin to the side and his head down.

She found herself smiling as she threw out a guess. “Yes… I’ve changed my hair. But you haven’t changed yours.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your comments and kind words. The flashback and the box that Han carries refers to some of the chapters in Homecoming.
> 
> Enjoy!

_He heard the opening and closing of the front door before he heard the motley crew he called his family. “Paging Dr. Solo…” Leia’s voice called from the hall long before he could see her. It was then that he heard a sob come from Ben. “Dr. Solo…”_

_Han’s mind immediately went to the worst care scenario. So he was relieved when he clapped eyes on his family and didn’t see any blood and saw that all limbs were still attached._

_“Dr. Solo,” Leia continued walking into their living space, removing her coat while she did._

_“What is it?” Han stood from his place on the couch._

_Leia pressed her lips together while she helped Ben remove his own coat. He could tell she was trying to suppress a grin. “It seems we have an eyeless Ewok in need of the medic’s care.”_

_He drew his eyes to the pout on Ben’s face and the stuffed toy he held close to his chest._

_“I see,” Han stroked his chin as he started playing along. “Bring the patient to room 11,” he gestured to the table in front of the sofa. “And I’ll see if Dr. Solo is in.”_

_Han almost giddily strolled back into their office and started opening drawers. It took him a moment to find some green thread, a needle, and scissors that would work as his surgical tools._

_With everything he needed, he returned to their temporary medical ward and walking into room 11._

_Ben sat on the floor, still holding onto his toy with a firm grip._

_Han joined him, sitting criss-cross on the floor. “The patient ready?”_

_Ben nodded, his eyes still concerned._

_“Mommy!” Han called through the apartment._

_“Yes,” Leia called back from the closet in the hall, a lilt to her voice. She was always amused when her husband called her ‘Mommy’ for their son’s sake._

_“Can you come to operating room 11? The Ewok’s family might need some consoling.”_

_He heard a snicker before she reappeared and made her way down to the floor with them._

_Ben immediately climbed into her lap._

_She settled in and directed the next movement. “Put your Ewok on the operating table and let Dr. Solo take a look.”_

_Ben handed the stuffed toy over to his father and Han made a big gesture of placing him gently on the table. He caught a smile from Ben as he squinted his eyes to start the examination._

_“What’s the prognosis, Dr. Solo,” Leia played along acting concerned as she rubbed her hands over her son’s legs._

_“Uh oh…” Han’s eyebrows went together as he inspected the patient. He took an extended and dramatic look all over the little stuffed creature, before looking over to Ben. “I think he’ll need surgery.”_

_Leia made a surprised gasp that jolted the boy in her lap and made him giggle. “Surgery!”_

_Dr. Solo nodded sadly. “What war has he been through to lose an eye?”_

_“It’s my teeth,” Ben said opening his mouth and pointing to where his teeth were._

_Leia spoke seriously. “It seems the thread was no match for our son’s teeth.”_

_It was getting hard not to burst out laughing right then and there. Instead he pulled his lips under his own teeth and tilted his head at Leia. “I see.”_

_She copied his look over their son’s head, both fully amusing themselves._

_“Well,” Han drew his attention back to the game they were playing. “What happened to this eye?”_

_Ben had the answer to that. “I spitsed it out in Mommy’s hand.” He immediately moved her hands from his legs and looked for it._

_“Aha! And I put it in my pocket.” She pulled it from her dress pocket and placed it on the operation table. “I think it’s dry by now.”_

_Han picked up the loose eye without a problem and raised it above his head. “Now, the surgery can begin!”_

_Ben giggled at his father’s antics and sat enraptured by their game._

_It took Han a few tries at threading the needle before deducing that his large fingers were not ideal, so he handed the tools to Leia to complete the first step._

_With the needle threaded with green thread, he took the first plunge into the eye socket. “This…” Han muttered out with a quiet, serious tone. “Is the most important part.”_

_With the first stitch a success, he moved the thread through the button and pulled tight. He repeated the steps, slowly and deliberately, heightening the drama._

_When he managed about 10 stitches—better make sure it stands up to Ben’s teeth—he tied off the end and cut off the extra. Observing his work, it was less than perfect, but it would do and Ben would be thrilled._

_Ben was thrilled as he was presented with his intact toy once more. “Tanks, Daddy!” He grinned as he pulled the Ewok into his chest and ran back to his room to play._

* * *

When they entered, Ben was sitting up on the bed, elbows on his upturned knees, eyes fixed forward, and in deep contemplation. Of what? Han couldn’t tell.

Han knew that he knew they were there. He had faith that his son was at least passively observant. Yet he chose to show no acknowledgment, so Han took a step away from the closed door.

“Hey, kid,” he said almost out of breath already at just seeing his son again. He clutched the box he held in his hands even tighter.

The man on the bed didn’t respond with words or actions. But when Han took another step closer to the shield, he responded

“Leave, now.” Two words delivered with disdain and anger dripping from his mouth.

Leia stepped up from behind her husband, suppressing the anxieties she had of the last time Ben and Han were alone together. “Give him a moment,” she asked the man on the bed, her voice both gentle and commanding at the same time.

Han spoke again. “Give me five minutes, please.” His voice, more unsure than ever before. “Then I’ll go. I promise.”

No response.

Leia nodded at Han, gesturing for him to take another step forward and through the shield. 

The man on the bed did react to that. He shifted his weight, only subtly, and his eye twitched.

Leia stood on the outside of the shield, turning her body to the door, ready to leave them. “Don’t break anything in there.” She pointed to the thing Han was holding while looking directly at the man on the bed. “I want to keep that stuff.”

It felt odd, laying down mundane ground rules that the younger man was surely contemplating breaking. Yet it felt more normal. Something a family would do for a tough conversation. She decided to add one more rule to their encounter. 

“And don’t break each other either. I want to keep both of you as well.” With that, she closed the door and held her breath on the other side.

Han was on his own now. He kept his feet planted as he scanned the room. Other than Ben being awake, the only difference he saw was the uneaten food tray on the side table. 

“You know, this stuff is edible.” Han gestured to the slop. He let a smirk appear at the corner of his mouth. “You survived your mother’s occasional cooking, so you’ll survive this. Built up a tough stomach.”

No response. He’d try again.

“You remember that spice stuff she tried to make…”

“I am here for one reason,” he interrupted, voice direct, focused. Well, at least Han got a reaction from him. “Luke Skywalker.”

Han narrowed his eyes but kept his voice light. “What do you want with Luke so badly?”

“To fulfill my destiny.” The repeated words of the Supreme Leader came naturally from his lips. “To become what Lord Vader could not.”

“Vader, Vader,” Han shifted his weight between his feet as he repeated the name like he was tired of hearing it. “You know, that guy was probably the worst father-in-law in history. The lasting trauma he put her through…” He was sure the man in the bed knew the ‘her’ Han was talking about. “How could he do that to his own child?”

“The Dark Lord had his reasons.” Another repeated line from years of engraining it into his brain, but then another thought. “I know about family disappointment.” The anger in his words was increasing.

“Okay.” Han sighed and put up his hands in acknowledgment. He metaphorically stepped back from this conversation as he took a step closer to the bed. “But while we wait for the all mighty Skywalker,” Han’s own disdain dripping off his words. “I brought something to show you.”

Han pulled one of the chairs towards the bottom end of the bed and slowly lowered himself. He kept the box on his lap but took a careful observation of the other man in the room before proceeding.

He was still staring intently at the wall, almost in a trance, not allowing himself any visual contact. But his eye twitched once, twice. He was surprised, uncomfortable at how close Han was, at the trust he was demonstrating after what they both just went through on Starkiller Base.

“Found it on the Falcon,” Han began as he opened the box. “It’s got some memories in it.” 

Han eyed the man in his peripheral vision as he went through the box.

“Got some holos from when you were born, your sonogram shot, you sleeping in your mother’s arms…”

He trailed off as he noticed the man’s eyes blink.

“And there’s an old friend of yours.” Han pulled out the treasured little Ewok toy with more hair missing than was currently on his well-loved body. The one eye was looser than the other. He could still see the green thread he used when he haphazardly but successfully sewed it back on. “Remember how his eye came off?”

No response, except for an increase of eye movement.

“You chewed it.” Han found himself chuckling at the memory. “There’s a lot of good memories tied up in this little guy.” 

Han sat still for a moment, silent. His mind scanning over the countless visions of his little boy clutching this beloved toy. He tried to reconcile the child from his imagination to the man before him now, both were scared and vulnerable.

The younger man must have seen the reflection he was going through. It was almost like Han was looking at a mirror image as he saw his smirk appear on the younger man’s face.

“Han Solo…” He paused. “Is a weak man.”

Was he? Yes, he was. “You got that right,” Han stated, humbled, as his insecurities vocalized in substitute for his signature bravado. The younger man’s smirk disappeared. “But it’s probably not for the reasons you’re thinkin’.”

“The bloodline of Darth Vader made me strong, but the bloodline of Han Solo made me weak.” The man’s lip was trembling. Actually trembling. With what, Han didn’t know. Anger? Regret? Longing? Division?

Han tried to reach him. “Emotions don’t make you weak, kid.”

And emotions were what was coursing through the being before him. His lips weren’t the only thing trembling now. His fingers shook against his knee, shoulders twitching with miniature convulsion. 

Han watched as his mouth opened before he spoke. “I am weak.” He spit out the truth he had been feeling for so long. He had to close his mouth to swallow again before continuing, growing increasingly louder. “I can’t stand it anymore. No more!”

Han would have done anything to help his son, to take away the pain from his eyes. He did what he could. He reached out again, this time physically as his hand reached for his son’s knee. “You’re afraid to let us in,” Han spoke quietly. “Afraid to feel again because, with the good, you’ll feel fear and even more pain.” He tapped his finger against his knee. “I get it”

The man in the bed stayed quiet, the war still battling inside of himself as his body reacted with tremors and his eyes now fully watering.

“But gettin’ rid of me or Leia,” Han continued. “It’s not gonna get rid of the pain you’re feelin’ inside of you.”

The younger man took a breath in and out, and his body suddenly stilled.

“I know what I have to do, but I don’t know if I have the strength to do it.” His eyes were still filled with tears, still trained directly ahead of him.

Han removed his hand from the knee. He remembered the last time he heard those words. “I trust my son,” he said, projecting full certainty. Han brought his eyes back to the box in his lap, the manifestations of the memories he had of this son. “He was strong because he wasn’t afraid to show fear or compassion or love.”

The man didn’t respond.

“Ben belongs here.” Han rephrased. “You belong here. With the people who love you.”

For the first time in their conversation, the man on the bed moved his gaze downward, now fixated on his knees. He used a single breath to utter, “No matter how many times you say that, I find it hard to believe.”

Han shook his head. He opened his mouth to offer assurance, but he stopped, momentarily stunned by his son’s eyes on him.

“You were my hero,” he expressed faintly, a true confession that just about broke Han’s heart. “And turned out to be such a disappointment.”

Han could barely move, let alone say anything after having his heart ripped from his chest with words. He felt his own eyes cloud up but swallowed it all down for later.

“I love you, kid.” Han tried to channel every emotion he had for his son into his next words. “I’ve made mistakes I will regret for the rest of my life. Sending you away…” his voice dwindled, unable to vocalize the pain that decision caused him. He met his son’s eyes head-on, finding some strength in all his weaknesses. “But havin’ you as a son, loving you as best I knew how was not one of them. Could never be one of them.”

Han leaned forward in his chair as he uttered his final promise.

“I’m not leavin’ you now, son. As long as your mother and I are livin’, we’re not lettin’ you go again.”

He didn’t know if he reached him. The man’s breath hitched once before it came back in regular intervals and his eyes went back to the same wall he had been staring at for the better part of their conversation.

“You’re five minutes are up.” The soft female voice came from behind him.

Han stood as Leia walked in, trying casually to stretch while his fingers furiously wiped at his eyes. 

She walked past him, seeming comfortable walking into the room like she had done this a million times before. And she had.

She held another tray full of different slop and walked straight to her son’s side. “You better eat something,” she said placing the new tray down and picking the old one up. “Or else I’ll plant myself in that kitchen and cook something for you.”

Han was happy to lighten the mood. “I thought you didn’t want to kill us?” 

She pressed her lips together as she turned back to Han, giving him a look. “Not today, but maybe tomorrow, you lunk.”

Han obediently shut up.

“How’s your side healing?” Leia turned back towards the bed and asked, both out of concern and trying to get him to talk to her.

He didn’t answer.

“You can make this hard or easy.” She sighed and tried another approach. “Do you need more bacta patches?”

She got the response she was looking for. “No, it’s fine,” he grunted.

“And your head?” She observed the now fully bruised bump on his left forehead.

“It’s fine,” he said again.

Satisfied, she turned back to her husband and gestured for them to head towards the exit.

“When will Luke Skywalker arrive?” The voice behind them asked.

She turned over her shoulder. “Soon.” She didn’t freely give any more details.

Han took this as an opportunity to vent. “You know, I’m looking forward to seeing my dear brother-in-law again.” The sarcasm in his voice was palpable.

“Han…” she said in a warning tone.

“What?” He shrugged in defense. “I’m just gonna tell him what a shit job he did and…”

“And he’s a coward for hiding,” the man on the bed offered, surprising both his parents.

Han turned back to him and pointed a finger. “Yes, thank you. And he’s a coward for hiding.”

Leia felt torn between defending her brother, whom she also held animosity towards, and delighting that her son and his father found something to agree on. “You’re not telling Luke anything he doesn’t already know. Now come on.” She nodded her head towards the door again. “Let’s let him eat and rest.”

She let Han go in front of her as she took one last look at her son. She used her words carefully, projecting care but trying not to scare him. “I’ll be back in the morning. Have a good sleep.” 

Han helped her close the door and froze on the other side. Any sarcasm or bravado he managed previously was gone and what was left was a broken man who failed his son. Leia must have seen this coming. The tray she carried was quickly discarded on the floor and her arms were quickly filled by Ben Solo’s father, his regret and pain spilling over her shoulder as she held him close.

As the door closed, the man on the bed breathed, softened his tightly controlled muscles, and let his tired mind relax. He moved an abrupt hand under each eye, almost like if he did it fast enough he could have plausible deniability that his tears were never there. Broken, that’s how he felt. Kylo Ren felt broken. His eyes roam again. They scanned over the chair where his father had been sitting. The box was still there, a little stuffed Ewok peeked out with a loose eye.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your notes! Hope you enjoy this chapter!
> 
> I think I was delusional when writing this flashback because I couldn't stop laughing at the stupid names. I was absolutely tickled!
> 
> Another note, in this story Palpatine is good and dead and Rey's parentage remains a mystery.

_“Ow, kid. Watch those knees.”_

_Han groaned after the third kick he received in the past minute. Ben had another one of his nightmares and sequestered himself in his parents’ bed for comfort. Thanks to Leia, the demons in his head were temporarily expelled, but sleep was not coming easily to his active mind and body._

_Leia rolled over to face the center of the bed where her son laid between them. “What’s wrong sweetie?” She found his legs out of the covers and placed a hand to try and calm him down._

_“I’s not sleepy,” Ben said as he faced his Mommy and reached out to hold her long braid in his hand._

_“Ben, it’s in the middle of the night. You need to sleep.”_

_“I can’t,” he fussed, kicking his legs into the mattress with frustration._

_“Okay, kid.” Han had enough. He scooped Ben under his arm and set him down on top of his chest, sitting up a little so Ben could get comfortable against his father. “What story do you wanna hear?”_

_Leia, happy that her husband was dealing with this, turned to her other side and shut her eyes, trying to find her way back to sleep._

_Ben rested his chin on his father's chest and answered with whispered excitement. “Tell me the story of baby Ben!”_

_Han rested his head back against the headboard and closed his eyes, letting out an exhale as he began the story, hoping Ben would fall asleep before he did. “A long time ago…”_

_“In a galaxy far, far away…” Ben chanted along with his father._

_Han picked up the story from there. “There lived a handsome, roguish, good-lookin’, brave smuggler named Ban Polo.”_

_He paused until the suppressed chuckles died down from the other side of the bed. “And he was a big deal. He was known as the greatest smuggler in all the galaxy.”_

_His dramatic voice held his audience enraptured._

_“Then one day he met a kid named Fluke Flywalker. And, you see, Fluke wanted to travel to Alderaan because he saw this pretty Princess in a holo message. So he asked the brave, handsome smuggler to fly him to Alderaan in…” He paused drawing out the suspense. “The Millennium Falcon.”_

_Ben smiled up at his father from his comfy spot._

_“So they flew to Alderaan, but when they arrived they found… the Death Star where the bad guys were hiding the Princess. And the brave smuggler, Ban Polo, decided to go in and save Princess… Shmeia”_

_He glanced a look over to the other side of the bed and didn’t see any movement._

_“So Ban Polo went in with a single blaster and fought through hundreds of stormtroopers and weaved through the narrow hallways, and fought hard as he looked all around for her… and then he found Princess Schmeia… and she gave him a big sloppy wet kiss because he was so good looking.”_

_She groaned, surely rolling her eyes at him as she turned to face them. “I know you are just trying to annoy me… but it worked.” She caved._

_“Just tellin’ it the way I remember it,” he shrugged innocently._

_Leia inched closer to them and made some story corrections for Ben. “Some of that is true. The smuggler and Luke did come…”_

_“Fluke,” he corrected her, trying not to laugh at his own retelling_

_She tried her best not to humor him. “I’m sorry. The smuggler and Fluke did come to the Death Star and got the Princess out of her cell. And then the three of them made it back to the Millennium Falcon by hiding in the…”_

_“Trash!” Ben exclaimed. He had heard this story a few times and knew his favorite parts._

_“That’s right.” Leia continued. “Once they were safe they joined the Rebel Alliance to overthrow the Empire that had captured the Princess.”_

_Han sighed dramatically. “It was very hard. It took a long time, but they never gave up because…” He let Leia have her signature line._

_“…Hope is what rebellions are built on.”_

_“And they won!” Ben added._

_“Yes,” Leia nodded. “And then the smuggler and the Princess fell in love…”_

_“She couldn’t resist me,” Han crooned before muttering his botched corrections. “I mean she couldn’t resist Han… er Ban, Ban Polo.”_

_Leia ignored him. “And they got married in the forest of Endor. Not long after that, they found out they were going to have a baby.”_

_“Baby Ben,” their son added his own knowledge to the story._

_“Yes. And a few months later baby Ben was born.”_

_Han stroked his hand over his son’s hair as Ben rested his cheek on his father’s chest. “He came right out with a thick head of hair and his Daddy’s nose.”_

_“And his Mommy’s eyes,” Leia added while she shifted closer to her family, sliding under her husband’s arm._

_“And then one day Ban Polo and Princess Shmeia left you on our doorstep and we took you in.”_

_Leia smirked again at his creative ending, but their other audience member was just about out._

_“And we loved you forever, kid.” Han kept his position, his arms around his wife and his son._

_Leia sighed, closing her eyes into her family’s embrace. “Forever and for always, my baby boy.”_

_“The End.”_

* * *

He couldn’t sleep. He could barely breathe in this room, in this place. Deep in the bowels of the enemy. His sworn enemy. 

He told himself that the first time Leia Organa or Han Solo walked into this room he would kill them. He had to kill them or he would never sleep again. They consumed him. He wanted to be free of them, free of the hurt they caused him, free of the weakness he felt when he was around them, and free of the pain Ben Solo would feel from Kylo Ren’s actions. 

The Supreme Leader was wise. He made his rules so simple. Combat fear with total power and possession. View compassion and compromise as weaknesses. Raw untamed power was strength. Easy to understand, yet… why couldn’t he live it? 

‘ _Because you’re weak like them_.’ The voice whispered inside of him. But then his father’s voice answered. ‘ _My son was strong because he wasn’t afraid to feel fear or compassion or love_.’

He felt the pull to Snoke’s world order long ago. He felt his brain being manipulated. He initially resisted. But Snoke was persistent. He gave him a new way to combat his fears, a new drive to push him to greater heights than even Darth Vader, a new enemy to defeat, to kill. It was all too easy to label the three people who abandoned him as his enemy.

He felt his head spin as his fingers ripped through his hair. Why couldn’t he let the past die, let Ben Solo die? He knew his father was right about one thing. He now understood that killing Han Solo and Leia Organa would not fix him. Would not give him closure or what he needed. The damage was inside of him. And he didn’t know how to get it out.

Where he would have turned to his grandfather for guidance in the past, he felt his connection to this mirage fading. The illusions he held of Darth Vader’s power. Vader tortured his mother, a being Ben Solo would have done anything to protect. Vader nearly killed his father. Vader killed his grandmother. And… Vader died Anakin Skywalker.

Darth Vader chose to be Anakin Skywalker. He chose the Light. He chose to love again.

“May I come in.” A voice he didn’t expect came from the door.

He shot his head up, sat up, and then stood to his feet in less than a second. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here talk,” she answered simply.

He took one last panicked breath and then tried to settle himself. He sat on the edge of the bed.

“I’ll leave if you want me to.”

She handed him an out. He didn’t respond. He didn’t know how to respond. He didn’t know what he wanted, what he needed right now.

He watched as Rey took his silence as permission and stepped closer. She lurched back with shock, banging her head as she collided with the shield that still surrounded him.

Rey had obviously not known or had forgotten about it because she looked bewildered at the invisible fortress before her, her hand clutching her now brushing forehead.

“How did she…” Rey asked herself quietly while palming the air. “With the Force…”

He amused himself by watching her for a time. Then… he felt strongly compelled to offer guidance. “Hand forward,” he said.

She looked to him, and then followed his order.

“Breath. Clear your mind.” 

She inhaled and exhaled, eyes closing.

“Feel yourself ask for permission and then step through.”

He watched her clear her mind and step through a moment later.

“Thank you.” She looked back at the invisible wall. “That was… embarrassing.”

He crossed his arms, half trying to appear impressive, but he felt his energy depleting. If he was an outside observer, he would have considered himself in a weakened state. 

“You are strong in the Force. The Supreme Leader is interested in you.”

“Well, I’m not interested in the Supreme Leader,” she said back automatically as she walked over to the far wall and took up a position there with her own arms crossed and her foot leaning.

“Why not?” He asked. “He has advanced knowledge and could help you use your gift, become a powerful leader.” Like me? He had enough introspection to phrase that thought as a question.

She shook her head, very calm and sure of herself. “I’m not interested in the type of leadership Snoke is offering.”

“Why are you here then?”

“As I said,” she repeated. “To talk.”

His eye twitched. She confounded him. On Starkiller Base, he had her locked in an interrogation room and the next thing he knew, here they were. She was seeking him out. “Why do you trust me?”

She uncrossed her arms and let them fall. “Your parents. They trust you and I trust them.”

“Did my Mom send you?” He noticed, too late, the term he vocalized for General Organa.

She shook her head. “I decided to come on my own.”

He asked for the third time. “Why?” 

She was silent. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was hiding something or because she didn’t know.

He changed his question. “Why are you here? Why did you join the Resistance?"

“I don’t think I have,” she replied. “Joined officially that is.”

He sensed more. “But you want to. You will.”

“Yes, I want to?”

“Why?”

He watched her eyes as she answered. There was almost a sparkle as she spoke of the pull to her cause. “I’ve finally found something to fight for.” She paused as she thought how to phrase her response. “I found your father and mother and…”

“You wish they were your family…” He spat, interrupting her. “I said it before. They would have turned out to be a disappointment to you.”

“Disillusioned, maybe. But not a disappointment.” She snapped back. “Whatever wrongs they did to you, it doesn’t take away from the good that is in them, the love they want to give you.”

He fell silent as he listened, actually listened, and not just heard.

“I watched them in here,” she said gesturing towards his spot on his bed. “Holding your hand. Longing for their son back.”

Yes, he was awake for that as well.

“I like to think I deserve to be in a place where there are people who care about me, people to lean on. I’ve never had that.” 

He realized she was speaking about her parents. Her parents whom abandoned her. “And you think you have found that here, with the Resistance.”

“Yes,” she nodded confidently. “There are people here who care about me. Finn came back for me…” She made sure she had his eye as she continued. “Just as your father came back for you.”

He shook his head, tucking his chin to his chest. “That doesn’t take away from the fact that they abandoned me.”

“No it doesn’t. I know that more than anyone.” Yes, she did know that more than anyone. She understood him. “But they did come for you. You’re mother certainly didn’t give up.”

His mother… she trusted him. Against all evidence otherwise, she trusted him. ‘ _I still have faith in my son_.’

He listened to her, his mind spinning as she spoke softly. “My parents never came for me. I don’t know why, but if they had half the drive and love your mother has for you, they would have come back for me years ago.”

He watched as her face began to well with emotion. He felt a tug in his chest, where his heart lay frozen but persistently thawing.

“I found a place for myself here,” she continued, swallowing any expression of her mental state. “In the end, doesn’t everyone just want to find belonging?”

Yes. 

“I… I don’t know where I belong anymore.” He put his forehead in his hands. His head hurt. This was too much for any one person to take.

“Your parents think you belong here.”

“What about you?” He raised his head, almost spitting out his next words dripping with self-loathing. “What did you think of me the first time you saw me?”

She swallowed. “I saw a masked villain whose life was driven by hate and destruction."

Articulate, and accurate.

“What do you see now?” He hesitated, not knowing if he wanted to hear her answer.

Her eyes met his, firm and convincing. “Snoke may think he has succeeded in manipulating you, but he has not.” 

He felt himself enraptured by her confidence in that statement. It made him want to believe it.

She continued. “I see a complex human being who uses a mask to project a warped image of strength… yet it is only a facade for the scared man inside.”

“The weak man inside,” he whispered his correction immediately.

“No,” she corrected him, shaking her head. “Fear, compassion, connection are not weaknesses. They are the reason the Resistance, you mother, continues to fight. Clinging onto hope for a better future is not a weakness.”

“Hope is what rebellions are built on.” His Mom always said that. It came whispering out of his mouth so easily. As if Ben Solo had returned.

Rey heard him. She whispered back her own incantation. “What we have, that hope, our reason to fight…The hope and Light that I know is still in you…” She paused, hesitated, like her next words would be important. “It can't be destroyed. Not by Snoke or anyone else. That's our victory - our victory over the Dark.”

He watched her, entranced, his breath all but gone after her words ended. She stepped away from the wall, towards him.

“I’ll help you.”

He felt tremors start again, beginning in his jaw, then traveling through his arms to his fingers.

He shook his head in defeat. “It’s too late.”

“It isn’t too late.” Another step.

Wasn’t it? “I’ve never felt so alone.”

“You’re not alone.” 

And then her hand touched his. 

Victory over the Dark.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your kind words! This story is about to pick up the pace! Buckle up!
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Ben…”_

_She could feel it. Something was wrong. It was the middle of the day. She was in the Capitol building, on Chandrila, in the middle of a very important meeting with the Chancellor and a few heads of state… and something was wrong. She felt a trembling in the Force._

_What? She didn’t know._

_“What’s that Senator?” She heard someone ask. It took her a moment to realize they were addressing her._

_Her mind had been completely elsewhere since she felt the ripple through the Force. She came back to the present for a moment and sat up in her high-backed chair. “I apologize. Please continue.”_

_The conversation at the long conference table carried on. Her nail dug into her thumb, peeling off a piece of skin. Her legs crossed and uncrossed and then recrossed. Her jaw flinched. Her right eye crinkled. She couldn’t focus on the merits of the discussion and was about to excuse herself when Mon put her out of her misery by ending the meeting._

_She should have made polite conversation with the traveling heads of state, lingering to strengthen their personal relationship. But she unceremoniously left Mon to do that while she practically flew from the room and stepped outside._

_With her comm now in hand, she found she had missed 7 messages. Most of them from Han._

_She dialed him immediately, but only got his message. She tried again. Same result._

_Her panic rising, she quickly studied one of the other numbers that called her. Ben’s school. She dialed and someone finally answered. “This is Leia Organa, Ben’s Mom.” Her voice did little to hide her worry._

_“Oh yes, Senator Organa. I just spoke to your husband.” The voice on the other end was not as reassuring as she hopped._

_“Is something wrong?”_

_“Not life or death, dear.” The voice tried to calm the obviously unnerved mother on the other end. “Ben fell while playing outside today and hurt his arm.”_

_Hurt his arm… “Is he alright?”_

_“He’s doing well, ma’am. He was just picked up by Mr. Organa and a Mr. Chewbacca. We advised they take him to a medic and have his arm looked at. It may be broken or dislocated…”_

_“Thank you.” Leia hung up quickly when they gave her all the information they could. She immediately dialed for Han again and waited. No answer. She tried again. No answer. She tried again._

_This time she was met with the growl of a Wookie. And she had never been more relieved._

_She was only partially aware of the hustle and bustle of capital workers around her as she exclaimed into the device, “Chewie! What happened?”_

_It was even harder to make out what the Wookie was saying over the comm. […in with the medic… they think…broken…set the arm…home soon.]_

_“Is Han there?” She asked still frantic._

_[…in with medic.]_

_She tried a different technique. “What office are you at? Dr. Nolbeh?” She tried the name of Ben’s usual office._

_[Yes.]_

_Finally, some confirmation._

_“I’ll be there soon,” she said as she hung up, rushing through the halls to her speeder and then rushing in her speeder through the maze of Chandrila._

_She must have made record time, but it wasn’t fast enough for her._

_“I’m here for Ben Solo. I’m his mother.” The droid at the front desk nodded and appeared to be scanning through its records._

_Leia heard a growl from the waiting area and immediately turned._

_“Chewie!” She ran to the Wookie and held his arms. “Thank you for being here. Is Ben alright?”_

_Chewie was much easier to understand in person. [He is okay. Crying, but okay. They have been in with the medic for a while now.]_

_The front desk droid finally found the information it was looking for. “You will find Ben Solo in room 116 down hallway 4.”_

_“Thank you,” she cried as she entered the maze of hallways looking for the one labeled 4. And once she found that, her head looked from side to side until the number 116 appeared._

_Unceremoniously opening the door, her heart leaped at the sight. Han was sitting in the patient’s chair, his ankle crossed over his knee, and his cheek resting against his son. Ben was curled up, almost as small as he could make himself, against his father. His face hidden against the man’s chest and his back turned towards the door._

_Han saw her first. “Look Ben, Mommy’s here.”_

_Her little boy turned around in his father’s arms._

_“Ben!” She cried as she saw his face, his mouth in a frown, face dry but red and puffy from an obvious flood of tears._

_“Mommy!” He called as soon as he clapped eyes on her. His head tilted up to her reaching out with both arms and immediately regretting it as a spark of pain hit him._

_“Ben,” Leia cried again as she made her way over to them, pulling her son into the best hug she could give with his current injury and position. “Oh my baby, what happened? Are you alright?”_

_Ben didn’t answer, just started sobbing again as the rest of the tears he had in him fell out._

_He stayed in his father’s lap. Han did his best to keep his son’s arm balanced as he twisted to hug his Mommy. Leia was now on her knees in front of them, her thumb doing its best to wipe away the waterworks._

_“It’s broken,” Han shared. “Show Mommy what the doc gave you.”_

_Ben leaned upright as he held out his injured arm that was currently surrounded in a soft gauze with a hard, clear shell on the outside._

_“It hurts,” her baby sobbed again._

_She moved her hand to run through his hair, brushing it back from his wet face. “I know, baby.”_

_Han explained more. “The doc put some stuff on under it and ran it through a machine…” He was certainly butchering the doctor’s exact words. “Anyway, it should heal in a week or so.”_

_She nodded before a medical droid entered the room with a medication they could give Ben for the pain if needed. Then, they were free to go._

_Leia drove Han and Ben home in her speeder and Chewie drove Han’s. Ben was quiet, only letting out a sniffle here and there, but nuzzled in his father’s chest the whole time._

_When they were safely home, Han carried him in and moved directly to Ben’s bedroom._

_“Okay, kid,” Han said laying the boy down on his bed. “It’s been a day, I’ll tell you that.”_

_Ben let himself be lowered and tucked in._

_Leia came in and knelt at his side, her fingers trailing once again through his hair. “Are you hungry, sweetie? What can I get you?”_

_Ben hesitated before he whimpered. “Ice ceam.”_

_She smiled and nodded. “Okay, baby.” With a kiss on his forehead, she left to get his snack._

_Han closed the blinds so the room was dark and turned on the lantern. “Try and rest, kid. Mommy’ll be back with your treat.”_

_He shut the door behind him as he made his way to the kitchen. He found Chewie and his wife on a mission to bring their son the best damn bowl of ice cream he ever had. “I bet he’ll be asleep before you get it to him.”_

_Leia nodded. “You’re probably right.”_

_Chewie growled. [He needs some rest.]_

_Han nodded. “We should get him something good for dinner when he wakes up. He missed lunch.”_

_[I’ll cook dinner,] Chewie graciously offered. Some Wookie food would be a welcome change from BX._

_“Thanks, pal,” Han responded leaning his own tired and worry weary body against the counter._

_Leia had Ben’s snack ready. “Come on.”_

_Han followed her back down the hall and to the patient’s room._

_She brushed her fingertips on the door as she quietly pushed it open a crack, just enough to let her eyes peek in._

_It was dark for one thing, making it harder to pick out the elements in the room. But the glow from his star lantern made it slightly easier. Her eyes eventually adjusted to view the little lump in the bed that was her son. Cuddled on his side with his injury resting on the pillow._

_She brought her head back into the hall. “He’s asleep,” she told the man next to her._

_Going back to the crack in the door, she widened it so both their heads could look through._

_“He’s out,” Han confirmed. “Poor kid’s had a rough day.”_

_She nodded as her head fell back onto her husband’s. “He’s going to be okay,” she whispered into the dark._

* * *

“Ben…”

She could feel it. Something was different. Not wrong per-say. She felt a trembling in the Force.

“Ben!” This time she shot up from her comfortable place in bed. The room was pitch black. She wasn’t sure how long she had been asleep or how long since she had left her son’s room and crawled into bed. 

It wasn’t a dream. Of that she was sure. It felt like a burst of energy produced a shockwave against the thread in her mind that led to her son. Something had happened. She was hesitant to believe it, but it felt like something good.

“Han, wake up!” She waved her right arm as it collided with his shoulder and shook him awake. “Han!”

Her push forced him to roll from his side to his back as he jolted out of sleep. “What is it… Leia!” It took him a moment to blink and then to feel her panic. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Ben…” She felt her breathing accelerate. “He’s…”

“He alright?” Now Han was also sitting up in his rumpled nightshirt and turning intently to his wife.

“I don’t know,” she said springing from the bed as quickly as her stiff legs could take her. “I think he is…”

Han watched her round the bed, listening to the patter of her bare feet against the floor. “Leia…"

She reached for her robe and had one arm through it when she heard a knock on the door.

“General,” the confident whisper of a young girl called.

She halted but a moment to consider this surprise before buttoning the side of her robe and proceeding. She didn’t hesitate before opening the door fully and stepping aside for the girl to enter.

Rey was surprised the door opened so fast. “I’m so sorry to wake you…” she started just as she realized the woman had obviously been awake.

Leia shook her head dismissively, shutting the door behind the girl. “What is it, Rey?” The older woman’s hand went to the younger one’s arm, her grip light but anxious.

Rey took in the anxious face that matched the grip. “It’s Ben,” she said with a jubilant peace illuminated on her face. “He’s back.”

Leia’s mouth parted, she couldn’t speak. She didn’t let herself believe it. Was her son really back? Fully back this time instead of only physically present?

“You’re sure?” Han asked, projecting extreme skepticism.

Rey turned her head to the makeshift double bed, just realizing the other presence was there when he spoke. “Yes. I just came from him.”

Leia audibly inhaled. “Rey, sit down and tell us everything.”

Leia pulled the single chair in the room towards the bed, offering a place for Rey to sit. When the girl was seated, Leia perched herself on the side of the bed, her senses tingling and on edge. Han twisted his legs around to sit up beside her.

“Start from the beginning,” Leia directed.

Rey nodded. “It was late and I knew I should be sleeping, but my mind was alert.” She gestured to her chest. “I felt… I can’t describe it. It was like a pull, a magnetic pull that was telling me to go to him. Go to Ben.”

“That pull is the Force, my dear. And its presence is certainly strong in you.”

“Even I knew that,” Han added.

Rey nodded. She was starting to believe the validity of what people kept telling her. “He was surprised at my presence, but he didn’t seem angry. He was quite vulnerable.”

Leia’s face showed a heartrending understanding. “And you walked through my shield?”

Han snickered. “Of course she did, sweetheart.” He gestured to the person in front of them. “Jedi powers.”

Rey nodded. “He showed me what to do.”

Han and Leia both took in that information.

Rey continued. “We talked. About feeling alone, about what true strength meant… about both of you.”

“I’m sure that was an enlightening conversation.” Attempted humor was Han’s go-to coping tactic. “Glad I missed that.”

“Ignore him,” Leia suggested, waiting for the girl to carry on. 

Rey understood Han well enough in the few days to let his comment go. “He was afraid. I think he is still afraid. But he has made his choice.”

“How do you know?” Leia asked, now literally on the edge of her seat.

“I didn’t at first. But as soon as I touched his hand…” Rey paused. “Something happened…” The expression on her face said that even she couldn’t put it into words what happened. “I knew, I was taking Ben Solo’s hand.”

They all felt comfortable with the silent pause as each of them came to their own realization.

Leia could finally breathe again. “I felt it.”

Han let out a deep breath as he laid his hand against his wife’s lower back and let his head hang. “It woke you up.”

“A ripple through the Force.”

Rey finished her story. “I left shortly after that. He seemed completely exhausted.”

Leia shook her head slowly, comprehension finally sinking in fully. “Ben…”

Han lowered his head, taking everything in alongside her and finding comfort as his fingers traced over her back.

Rey gave them a moment. She stood. “I’ll leave you then. Get some rest myself.”

“Of course.” Leia stood as well, eyes meeting the young girl’s. “Rey, we can’t thank you enough.” She found herself opening her arms and pulling the girl into a fast, comforting embrace.

Rey fully reciprocated and soaked in the hug, the genuine affection. 

They let go with gratified grins and Rey made her way out of the room.

As soon as the door closed, Han stood from the bed and moved about the room. “Come on.”

Leia followed him. “Should we, Han?”

He nodded, now looking for something around their small quarters. “Just to make sure he’s sleeping.”

They finally found some suitable shoes and took off down the hall, trying to be as quiet as possible in this late hour. 

The walk to their son’s room was both too far and too quick. They slowed their pace as they approached.

“Go on,” he said to her once they were in front of the door.

She flicked her head. “This was your idea,” she voiced back.

“Yeah, but I think he likes you better right now…” 

“Han Solo, you are impossible,” she angry whispered.

But she did what he suggested. She brushed her fingertips on the door as she cautiously pushed it open a crack, just enough to let her eyes peek in.

It was dark for one thing, making it harder to pick out the elements in the room. Her eyes eventually adjusted to view the lump in the bed that was her son. Their son.

She brought her head back into the hall. “He’s asleep,” she told the man next to her.

Going back to the crack in the door, she widened it so both their heads could look through. 

There was no movement and they couldn’t see much, but Leia reached out to him again. She was almost jolted as his mind opened to her, truly opened for the first time in years. She couldn’t see everything, but she saw enough to know that Ben had returned. 

“He’s going to be okay,” she whispered into the dark.

Their son was home.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your kind words! This flashback builds off the last one.
> 
> Enjoy!

_It was late afternoon. Han was still on planet and Leia left work early so they would both be there to support Ben. The medic assured them it wouldn’t hurt, but they were taking every precaution with their precious little boy. They showered Ben with praise and attention all morning, making this day as positive and exciting as possible. And they held a huge promise over his head. After the whole ordeal was over, Ben could choose anything he wanted to do that evening. It would be his special day._

_Han met her at her office in the mid-afternoon and they both steeled themselves for the rest of the day. They drove together to pick up Ben early from his daycare and then they held their breath as they drove the last stretch to the clinic._

_The medic was right, it was not a big deal. Ben was obviously nervous, he clung to his Daddy’s hand and sat in his Mommy’s lap as the med droid cut the shell casing off his arm. But there was no pain and no tears. As expected, the medic said the arm healed well and Ben was free to play like a 3-year-old boy again._

_“That was…”_

_“Easier than expected,” Leia finished for her husband as they made their way back to their speeder after mere minutes spent in the clinic._

_“Now I get my special day?” Ben said, his hands holding one of each of his parents._

_Both Leia and Han steeled themselves again for whatever this day now held for them. Yes, they made big promises expecting to need to console their sad, sobbing son. Now they had to follow through, even if all both of them wanted to do was to go home and topple over on their comfortable couch and relax._

_“You bet, kid,” Han tried to blink open his eyes after he felt a yawn overtake his face. “So, what are we doin’ tonight?”_

_“Can I’s fly in the Falcon to the stars?”_

_Han’s lids blinked open once more before he found a surprising burst of energy he apparently still had in him. “Yeah, kid! We can take her up.”_

_It was decided. They picked up take out meals on their way to the hanger. Leia held Ben’s hand as they jumped out of the speeder and ran up to the of the ship base. She lifted Ben up so he could use his code to lower the ramp. Ben was thrilled to watch the ramp lower at his command and hurried inside. Han carried their bags of food up the ramp behind his family._

_“Okay, hotshot junior,” Han called to his miniature, owning Leia’s pet name for him. “Are you the pilot or copilot today?”_

_Ben ran through the living space and directly to the cockpit. “I’s the pilot!” He called back._

_“Don’t touch anything until I’m there, kay?” Han warned, placing their food on the table._

_“Kay,” the voice called back._

_Leia stood near the entryway to the cockpit and waited for Han. “So we have a pilot and I can act as copilot… what are you going to do, old man?”_

_Han smirked as he walked up to her, his arm going around her shoulder as they continued to walk. “Guess I can sit back and enjoy the ride.”_

_Ben hadn’t touched anything, but he was standing in the middle of the dashboard looking very tempted. Han and Leia took their seats with Ben quickly climbing onto his father’s lap in the pilot seat._

_“Mommy, you start,” Ben directed his copilot to begin the engine process._

_“Okay, captain,” Leia answered pushing a few buttons and hearing the Falcon roar to life._

_“I’s a General!” Ben informed them. “Like Daddy."_

_Han’s heart could have burst as he subtly directed Ben to do his part with the start-up process. Together, they lifted the lever that brought the ship off the ground, and Ben held the steering mechanism with his father as they both brought her out of the hanger._

_“Go up Mommy,” Ben said when they were clear of the hanger and after he got a cue from his father._

_“Up we go.”_

_The ship tilted as they climbed towards the stars. Ben never got tired of that fun belly feeling when they accelerated. He couldn’t contain his glee and it came out of his mouth in sporadic giggles. They were out among the stars, far away gases of light painted the darkness with their glow. A scene Leia could take or leave, but her two boys were obviously mesmerized, at peace, home amongst the stars._

_“This looks like a good spot to settle?” Han asked once Chandrila looked like a sphere about the size of a fist._

_Ben nodded and slid off his father’s lap, running towards the back._

_Han watched him go. “Lost my pilot.”_

_Leia smirked as she did her part to keep them in orbit. “Don’t feel too bad. I lost my little Senator a long time ago.”_

_With everything mechanically settled, they followed their son into the back of the ship. Ben was not in the living space. “Hey buddy,” Han called, now rummaging through their dinner bags. “Where’d you go?”_

_“Can I’s eat in here?” A voice asked through the hallway._

_Leia followed the voice and found Ben laying in the bunk room in the bunk reserved and decorated for him. It was nice and low to the ground, full of blankets, and painted Ben’s favorite shade of green. “Well where will Daddy and I eat? We can’t all fit in there.”_

_Ben didn’t have an answer. He just looked disappointed and lifted his feet to the bunk’s ceiling. That kid loved his space on the Falcon._

_Leia had a compromise. “How about you bring some of your blankets and we eat in the cockpit under the stars?”_

_“Okays!” Ben was more than happy with the compromise and jumped into action, pulling out his blankets and handing them to his Mommy to help carry._

_“Han,” Leia called down the hall with her arms full of blankets. “The little ex-patient says we are eating dinner in the cockpit.”_

_She waited a moment for Han’s reply. “Well, whatever the little ex-patient says…”_

_She followed Ben as he pattered back towards the cockpit, passing Han along the way. He continued through the space until he dropped the blankets between the four chairs. Leia followed and threw her armload of blankets on top. “Alright, bubba. Make your cocoon.”_

_Ben emerged from the covers and climbed fully on the pilot chair. He spread some of the blankets out over the chair and kept some rolled up for his lap._

_“No crumbs in my ship,” Han said as he entered with plated food._

_Leia came to meet him and lighten his load. “Tell that to yourself, honey.”_

_The family found a seat. Han made a joke about his pilot being back as he took a passenger’s seat. He passed out their dinner and dug in. Leia sat in her copilot’s seat with her legs crossed beside Ben and Han leaned his feet on the fourth seat with his legs stretched out._

_Before they were halfway through, there was a low clanging sound coming from the back wall._

_“What’s that?” Leia asked, taking a bite and looking slightly concerned._

_Han placed his dish on the empty chair and moved toward the sound. “No problem,” he said taking a closer look at exactly where the sound was emanating from. “Sometimes it just needs a firm kick…” He wound up and kicked the side where the noise was coming from. The machine heeded his orders and stopped the noise, returning to its normal churning._

_“Good fix, Daddy!” Ben exclaimed clapping his hands._

_“Thanks, kid!” Han said climbing back into his seat._

_Leia shook her head, forever in awe at his mechanical methods and the fact that they still had a ship held together with such junk. “And the Falcon lives to see another day.”_

_Han nodded triumphantly. “I’ll die before she does.”_

_“Han, don’t say that,” Leia replied, not liking this kind of conversation._

_“Not that I plan on leavin’ anytime soon,” Han quickly amended. “But when I do,” he said turning to Ben. “She’ll be yours.”_

_Ben wasn’t following the conversation closely enough to figure out the significance of what his father was saying._

_Han rephrased. “Ben, one day the Falcon will be your ship.”_

_Now those words Ben understood. His eyes lit up with excitement. “My ship!” He said with his mouth full._

_“That’s right.” Han settled back down with his family and continued digging into his own meal. “Where you gonna fly first, kid?”_

_Ben didn’t have to think about it as he looked out at the multitude of possibilities for his future. “Everywhere!”_

* * *

It was early. Han dressed quietly, careful to let his bed partner sleep longer. She would surely know where he had gone.

He needed time to himself. Time to try and even begin to comprehend what had happened. A part of Han was scared to have Ben Solo back because then Han was forced to face his mistake-ridden past. 

The idea that he now had another chance, a way to make things right, became warped in his own guilt and the legitimate reasons for Ben’s disappointment, his disillusionment in the man he once thought of as… his hero.

That statement cut him to the core and his son’s face when those words were uttered was now scarred into his memory. 

He made a firm decision, a promise to himself the moment he saw Ben Solo asleep through the crack of the door. Han would be there for him, be the person he needed. That boy deserved the very best of his father from here on out.

As Han stepped into view of the Falcon, he took in a breath and exhaled the past.

“Hey Chewie,” Han mumbled in the middle of a yawn. He stepped heavily into the bowels of his beloved ship to find his copilot already up and moving. 

[It’s early,] the Wookie replied walking in from the cockpit. [Even early for you.]

Han nodded. “It’s that kind-a day.” He stopped in the middle of the room and placed his hands on his holster belt. “Ben’s back.”

Chewie looked at him, cocking his head, confused.

“It’s not Kylo Ren anymore.” Han elaborated, his own mind not fully able to believe what he was saying. “It’s Ben.”

Chewie was momentarily silent, his jaw slightly opened. [Your cub.]

Yes, Han thought. My cub.

[How is his injury?]

Han could tell Chewie still felt conflicted over his shot. He gave his friend a relieved smirk. “It’s healing. He’s alright.”

Knowing his friend for so long, Han could tell when some of the worry and guilt lifted from Chewie’s shoulders.

Han took a step towards Chewie and the cockpit. “I wanted to get a final run on things early so I can go see him before we head out.” Yes. Han wanted to see his son again more than anything in the world.

Chewie nodded. [I’ll start on the manual checks outside,] he said as he took a handful of tools and made his way down the ramp.

Han decided to start in the underbelly and make his way to the cockpit. The repairs were just the thing to occupy his swirling mind for a while. 

He flipped up the floor grate, sat down, and lowered himself into the smuggling compartment. There were a few systems important to the functioning of the ship down here. He started with the motivator and fiddled with one of the pipes. As he twisted, it came loose to reveal a leaky hole.

The air immediately started leaking from the tear. He was grateful to hear footsteps coming closer.

“Hey Chewie,” he yelled. “Hand me that bonding tape, will you?”

The tape found a way to his hand and he ripped a piece off with his teeth as he patched up his baby.

“You’re still holding her together with tape and prayers.”

That was not Chewie’s voice.

Han lifted his face. He had last clasped eyes on his son yesterday, but this was today. Han could feel the difference in the person before him. His hair was the same, long, shaggy black. Dressed in a black t-shirt, pants, and boots. But his face… and his eyes… Han didn’t hesitate to address his son. “Hey, Ben.”

A smile. A half-smile actually, but Han saw it as his son answered. “Hey, Dad.”

Ben watched as his father pulled himself out of the smuggling compartment, much less gracefully and youthfully than he once had. “Thought you’d still be asleep.”

“I thought the same about you.” 

Ben took in the man before him, now standing at his full height. He was suddenly transformed into that young boy again. The man in front of him was certainly older but emanated the same forceful and charismatic presence he remembered. His signature jacket that Ben thought was at least 15 years old. The trusty holster around his waist that young Ben Solo thought would scare away any demons who would come near. If only it did.

Han grinned. He wasn’t sure what to say. He had waited years and imagined what it would be like to hold a conversation with his son again. And now he was, and he didn’t know what to say. He felt like he had to do something with his hands, so he rested them on his holster belt. 

“I was… just gettin’ her fly-worthy again. Ducain let her run to shit.” He paused. “I guess I can use that language in front of you now without your mother callin’ me out.”

Ben looked towards the work he had been doing. “You’re leaving to find Luke.”

His son was perceptive. “I was voluntold,” Han articulated, highlighting how he really felt about this mission. “Your mother still thinks he can help take down Snoke.”

Ben pushed back. “What do you think?”

Han didn’t want to talk about this, but it was certainly a subject where he and his son’s views aligned. “Frankly,” he began honestly. “I think I’d be okay if I never saw him again.”

“You blame him.”

Han still couldn’t read the man in front of him. “Do you?”

Ben answered simply. “Yes, but not in the way I once did.”

Han took that in. His son had come farther than he had in his healing process. “I blame everybody,” Han answered, lowering his head. “Mostly myself, and Snoke. Luke just gets my direct anger most of the time.”

Han raised his chin, trying to clear his head from thoughts of his dear brother-in-law and instead focus on Ben. Ben Solo, standing in front of him once again.

He took a step forward so he was close enough to rest his hand on his son’s now broad shoulder. He swallowed. “It’s good to have you back, kid,” he said with a smile and a squeeze of his hand.

Ben was struggling, his lips again shaking, unsure of what to expect next. He called himself Ben Solo again. But Ben Solo did not have a future in this world. He didn’t know what 29-year-old Ben Solo did. But he did feel confident that Ben Solo could belong here. He had enough time to fully understand that. 

“Dad,” Ben started, not sure what to say, how to finish.

Ben watched his Dad’s face turn to immediate understanding, immediate acceptance. They may not have the Force connection he did with his mother, but sometimes his father seemed to be able to read his mind just as well.

“I know.” He felt the older man’s hand move from his shoulder to his cheek, cupping his jaw. “Me too.” 

Ben brought his eyes down as he took a deep breath. Being Ben Solo again wasn’t going to be easy, but it would be worth it.

“You wanna help?” Han smiled again and stepped back, gesturing to the front of the ship. 

Ben was still for a moment before giving a single nod.

Han’s eyes had a long-ago sparkle in them. “You can start by workin’ on that ignition line.” He started walking towards the cockpit with Ben following. “Rey took care of the compressor, but it could use some work.”

“Compressor?” Ben questioned with a look of consternation. “On the ignition line?”

Han could have been looking in a mirror to the exact face he made when he realized the egregious mistake of one of the Falcon’s past owners. “Defies logic,” he shrugged.

Following his Dad, Ben took a step into the cockpit. He felt the same belly feeling that he had when he stepped onto the ramp just moments ago. It hadn’t changed, the interior, the metal dice, the slightly rank smell. The memories that came with it had been preserved for 25 years. And they were hitting Ben like crashing waves. He held his hand out and felt the contact with the back of the pilot’s chair.

Han felt the memories too. “Remembering some of our trips together?”

Ben nodded, not afraid to admit he was feeling nostalgic. “I remember eating dinner here some nights.”

Han remembered. He leaned back against the dashboard. “You got crumbs all over,” Han retroactively admonished. “And I told you the Falcon would be yours someday.”

The younger man swallowed. “I remember.”

“She’s still yours, you know.” Han shrugged his shoulders. “Unless your Mom suddenly decides to take an interest in her. If that’s the case, you can fight it out. I still say she’ll outlive me.”

Ben felt the side of his lip rise. “Who? Mom or the Falcon?”

“Both of them,” he confirmed with certainty as he felt himself revel in his son’s lighthearted words. 

“Although, I hope I get to stick around for a long while.” A silence fell as Han considered his next words. “You here, your Mom… Makes me look forward to the future."

Ben lowered his head when he heard the word future. “I can’t see what’s ahead for me.” What did Ben Solo’s future hold?

“I know the feelin’. I spent years not thinkin’ about anything but the here and now.” Han swallowed as he thought about the last few years. “Tryin’ not to look back and not having anything to look forward to.”

“But you’re here now, for good,” Ben stated, raising his head again.

“Back… but not sure as what. An enlistee, taking up my former General post… or as Mr. Organa,” he bit out the last phrase in mock indignation. He was secretly proud to be Mr. Organa.

Han crossed his arms against his chest as he looked to his son. “You’ll find your way. And you’re Mom and I are here for you, kid. Always.”

Ben stood, his shoulders still squared, still as perplexed about where he saw himself, but confident in what was driving him. “I want to make this right”

His father seemed to understand. “Do what you have to do,” he encouraged, his voice low and assuring. 

“Han!” A voice drifted towards them from the interior.

“Uh oh, she found us,” Han quipped, his eyes bulging as he stood from his post. 

Ben felt another pull in his chest as he turned around.

“You better go to her.” Han encouraged. “She’s anxious to see you.”

He followed the pull he felt back through the Falcon and kept going until he met her in the rounded hall.

She gazed at him with obvious surprise, eyes wide and then softening. She had obviously dressed hastily as she wore a more simple dark blue dress and her hair was still what he knew as her nightly braid. She stopped her forward motion when she saw him. 

“Ben.” An element of awe, gratefulness, and euphoria in her voice. 

He felt his insides collapse, his jaw ticked and then his mouth opened. He was suddenly transformed into that young boy again who just needed… “Mom,” he whispered.

She started her feet up again, walking purposefully to the boy she named Ben, arms outstretched and heart beating twice the normal rate. 

He watched her approach, his lips turning down of their own accord, unable to suppress the flood of emotion he felt bubbling up. He raised his own arms as she reached him, wrapping around her small shoulders and holding onto her back.

He felt her arms latch at his waist and her head only reach his chest. He allowed his head to sink down to reach her level, his temple connecting with hers and finding critical relief in her touch, her smell, her embrace. This was not the General she put on display. This was the mother he remembered.

He felt himself grip her tighter and each time he did, he felt her pull him closer, her hands now running up and down his spine all the way to his shoulders. She tilted her head upwards to better cradle his. 

Kylo Ren failed to kill the Light within himself because it had been all around him all along. His mother. His father. His family. They were with him, always.

“Come here,” he heard her say.

Then he felt another body present, placing himself at their side and wrapping his arms over the both of them, finding his hands gripping Ben’s shoulder and his mother’s lower waist, his head falling to the back of her neck. 

At long last, this was their homecoming.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for your kind words!
> 
> Enjoy!

_She came home with that look in her eyes. Haunted._

_He was walking past the entrance to their home, moving towards the living space when he saw her standing there, stock-still. He wasn’t sure how long ago she first stepped into the apartment. She may have been standing there for more than a few moments. The smile he had for her faded instantly. He knew that look._

_Ben came looking for his father and became even more excited to see his mother was home._

_She lifted Ben as he greeted her. She was probably blocking him from her mind because Ben hadn’t sensed anything was wrong, using all her strength to protect her little boy from the burden she carried. She didn’t say much. Only a tight hello and a big hug. Ben carried the conversation for her, chattering on about what was going to happen in his holo program that night._

_She let him talk, half listened._

_Ben finally wiggled down her body to continue his playing. She let him go but still didn’t move. Her feet were stuck, her mind was stuck… in the past._

_Han took a brave step, his eyes drawing towards her as his arm did the same. ‘Come on, Leia,’ they said. ‘Let me in.’_

_She finally moved, only it was in the opposite direction he wanted her to go. She dodged his reach, stepping to the side and around him._

_‘Here we go again,’ he thought. He had learned through the years how to handle this. He needed to be present, but let her step away. In other words, they were in for a long night._

_She sheltered in her office until BX called them for dinner. They ate as a family. Their culinary droid had a marvelous evening. He was allowed to comment on his dinner selections and neither Han nor Leia stopping him from droning on and on. It was better to have some conversation around the dinner table instead of none at all._

_She finished her meal early, leaving far too much food on her plate. Kissing Ben on the head, she bid him goodnight saying she had a late-night meeting to take before closing herself back into her office._

_Han was left with Ben. Did it make him a bad father if he admitted that his focus that night was not on Ben? Yes, they watched his show together and Han gave him a big hug and a kiss as he put him to bed. But his heart just wasn’t in it._

_Han gave Ben a good half an hour to fall asleep. He sat on the sofa, flicking through a few holo programs to kill the time. When sufficient time had passed, he peeked back into his son’s room to hear the sound of blissful, peaceful snores._

_It was time._

_With the courage of his younger, reckless self and the understanding of the man he was today, he knocked lightly before opening the door to her office._

_Her hair. It was the first thing he noticed because it was only halfway undone. The rest of her looked mostly normal, dress still crisp, jewelry still shining. But her face was tight and pale, even for her, and her eyes were… lifeless._

_He shut the door behind him as he stepped into the small space. With her sitting at her desk, eyes painstakingly staring into nothing facing the far wall, he decided to sit close. Pulling up a chair to the side of her desk, he sat against the back of the chair, hands folded on his stomach. Voice, silent._

_He was waiting, waiting for the next stage. Under her normal schedule, she had enough time to be alone in her own head. Now, he just needed to wait._

_“Why do I let this affect me?” She began with her whispered question._

_If he answered, she wouldn’t listen, not yet._

_“Its been over 7 years…”_

_It was hard to believe it had been that long._

_“And I still can’t get… fucking control over it.”_

_She started swearing. A good sign._

_“Any other person would think I could have gotten over this by now. Any other person WOULD have gotten over this…”_

_She was strong. Gods, she was stronger than anyone he had ever met before._

_He licked his upper lip, deciding to engage, his voice textbook serene. “What happened?”_

_She heard him, and answered. “Delegation from Tepasi.”_

_Han swallowed, a former ally of the Empire located nearby to where Alderaan once stood._

_“Of course they made callous, ridiculous comments on the side, nothing too forward, but their sentiments were clear. Their blame was clear.”_

_He was certain the delegation did nothing to spare their former enemy’s feelings about her home planet. He wouldn’t be surprised if they made a careless comment that the trash media had been spreading about how Princess Leia was to blame for the destruction of Alderaan. Damn them._

_Leaning forward, he pressed his elbows into his knees. “Leia, nothing about this makes you weak. You’re the strongest person I know.”_

_Her eyes blinked back to life. But now in the world of the living, one must deal with emotions._

_“Nobody could have been in your situation and come out any stronger,” he referred to his earlier statement. “It was a terrible thing for you to have to watch and it’s a terrible thing to live with. But it’s not your fault.”_

_She blinked again, back to reality, back to the crushing weight that haunted her day after day. Some days it was too much. Today was one of those days._

_“Han… I saw my world be destroyed, my adopted family die while my real father stood over… and just watched …”_

_She felt her upper body falling forward towards her desk, crumbling into dust under the pressure. Only the landing was soft._

_His thigh managed to intercept her fall as he stood to catch her, placing his standing form between her and the hard surface. He leaned back, resting his weight while he took her head in his lap._

_“I didn’t do anything… He didn’t do anything… just watched…”_

_Finally, a sob found its way through. A much-needed release that cued on the last stage of this scene. Her head curled into his lap as her hands clutched any piece of him she could anchor herself to._

_He did the only thing he could do. He was there. He removed the rest of her hair from its do and stroked through the locks. The crescendo of the sobs led him to bend himself over. Clearing her hair from her cheek, he let his lips caress the skin, soothing the images in her mind._

* * *

Ben followed his mother as they walked from the Falcon towards her office across the landing platforms, through the base, and right by central control. His father was now focused on last-minute ship preparations before he would head off to find Luke and his mother wanted to talk with him.

They got just as many stares as averted glances from the Resistance crew attending to their daily duties. He wasn’t sure if the people were more curious by him or by the intimidating presence of their General. 

She was fast, light-footed, with the same public energy and commanding authority he remembered. Nobody dared to question why the First Order prisoner was following her. They respected her too much.

She opened a door just across from their headquarters and ushered him inside. The room was small, but functional with a desk against the wall in a corner, a cabinet, a few chairs, lights, and holo projections laying around.

“Have a seat,” she said turning on a few lights as she made her way over to the desk chair and sat down.

Ben chose a seat near hers and lowered his frame, his back remaining upright and his hands landing on his knees.

She started speaking, chair positioned so she was facing him, knees together and back leaning slightly forward. “I wasn’t sure where you had gone when I found your room empty.” She moved her hands to the end of her braid, taking the tie out and fingering the twists into strands. “I don’t know why I was so shocked you would head to the Falcon. That’s exactly what my 10-year-old Ben would have done.”

He allowed his left lip to curl up. Yes, that is exactly what Ben Solo would do.

When the last of the braid was removed, she tossed her long hair over her shoulder, the peppered grays and golds trailing down her back. Of course he had seen her like this before, but he was one of the rare few that probably only included his father, Chewie, and Luke. He took it as another of the many signs she was sending, she trusted him. 

“Dad’s leaving to find Luke.”

She continued to brush through her hair with her fingers. “He is.”

“You think Luke should confront the Supreme…” He stopped himself from his old way of addressing his former teacher. “Should confront Snoke,” he amended.

She nodded. “I think he has the best chance to cut off the head of the snake.” She took a few strands from the side of her head and began making a twist. “And bring this all to a close.”

And that strategy had worked before, he reminded himself, when Palpatine fell. “And then what?” He questioned, believing the political side of her had an answer. “If the First Order is defeated, then what?”

She opened her top left desk drawer, her fingers pulling out pins as her twisted crown started to take shape. “We rebuild… again.”

“How?” He pressed.

She sighed and lightly quipped, “Since when did you grow up and have so many questions about politics?”

“Since it is those politics that determine if I am a free man or a prisoner for life.”

She wanted to have an answer for him, she was angry she didn’t have one. “I don’t know,” she was forced to admit. “What would you call a New-New Republic?” 

He responded, not accusatory but pressing. “Some would call it clinging onto a system that has failed.”

“The New Republic didn’t fail.” She wasn’t offended or defensive. “This is different than the Empire. Palpatine was an elected member of a legitimate government who seized and abused his power. Snoke is a dictator who rose by force and is ruling through fear.”

She continued to speak as she placed the last of her pins. “The New Republic had its flaws, but it was not overthrown by the power of the people.”

“You believe there’s still hope?”

She nodded. “I believe in autonomy. The majority of the systems do not support the First Order. Once they have their own choice again, I believe the majority of the systems will take their place in the limited democratic government that emerges.”

And she did believe that. She had to with every ounce of her being.

“As I said, the New Republic had its flaws…” She sighed, conceding to a point she had fought hard against. “And maybe we do need to seriously consider the merits of centrists, naming an elected leader to represent the galaxy.”

Ben remembered receiving her messages from that time, outlining her thoughts on running for the position herself. He looked at her now, hair finally finished and looking weathered from even thinking about that time in her life. 

“But that elected leader will not be you,” he said back to her.

She brought her eyes to him, shaking her head, remembering the announcement of her bloodline that destroyed her chances and her career. “No, it will not be me.” Politics had taken enough from her life.

Her views of the world she was trying to create and the role she would play in it had shifted tremendously in the past three days. Her priorities had shifted. 

She leaned forward, eyes down, and stretched her hand to reach his on his knee. “I don’t know what the future holds… But, I’ll protect you.” She said that with so much confidence, he almost believed she could do it.

Yet he knew what the realities looked like. “I know what I’ve done.” He shook his head. “General Hux may have been the one to eradicate the Hosnian system, but I was there… I watched it happen.”

He felt her squeeze his knee harder. A look came over her face. Haunted. 

“I’ve killed… innocent people.” He felt the weight of those choices every day. Now he was choosing to own up to them.

“I’ll protect you.” Her eyes glistened as they became covered with suppressed tears.

He shook his head at her. “How can you, General Leia Organa, say that you would protect a guilty man?”

Her answer was simple. “You’re my son. And I love you.”

At that moment, he knew she meant what she said. He was overwhelmed to have someone of such awesome conviction love him, cast aside her strongly held principles for him. 

Obviously noticing his awe, she smiled and rubbed her thumb over his hand. “Just wait until you have children one day, then you’ll understand. You would do anything for them.”

A knock on the door broke them from the moment.

“Come in,” Leia said sitting back on her chair composing herself, blinking away the long ago demons.

Rey looked around the door before stepping in, her eyes locking on his in a brief but electrifying way before she turned back to the other woman. “General, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were busy.”

Leia waved her in. “It’s okay, Rey. Come in.”

Ben sat back in his seat as he took in the new guest. If he wasn’t so wrapped up in his conversation with his mother, he would surely have sensed her. Her presence was strong, rippling through him in waves. 

He hadn’t seen her since she left his room the previous night. He hadn’t had a chance to fully process what happened. Yes, he felt the full presence of Ben Solo now ringing throughout his body, but what happened with… Rey? With him and Rey. 

Why was she able to break through to him? To connect with him. When her hand finally touched his… 

He felt himself take in another shuddering breath, reliving that feeling.

Rey closed the door and stepped towards Leia. “I was wondering if I could travel with Captain Solo to bring back Luke Skywalker.”

Leia took a moment to think.

“He needs a copilot and I am…” 

She was cut off when Ben spoke, turning his head to hers and crossing his arms. “You think you can fly that thing? There is nothing normal about the way that ship is held together.”

Rey tilted her chin to him, stating proudly, “Actually, I can and I did.”

Leia looked between the two of them before making her decision. “He has Chewie,” she said. “I need you here, Rey.” 

Rey was one to follow orders, so she acquiesced. “Yes, General.”

“We need to start prepping for the evacuation.” Leia started to run through the schedule in her head. “The First Order is almost certainly regrouped by now and planning…”

“I can help,” Ben spoke up, all eyes fell to him.

She took him in, noticing the challenging glint in his eye. “Ben, no…” Leia immediately responded, knowing what kind of help her son was offering. “I don’t want to ask that of you.”

“Ask what?” Rey questioned.

Leia moved her eyes between her son and Rey. “Ben thinks he could confront Snoke…”

“I can do it,” Ben answered forcefully. “I’ve felt Snoke trying to reach me, but I’ve blocked him using your shielding as the reason as to why he can’t.”

Her expression showed her surprise. Whether she didn’t expect Snoke to reach out to him or for him to automatically block him, Ben didn’t know which.

He raised his head to challenge her. “I need to do something to make this right.”

She was internally torn by his offer, but she held firm. “No, Ben.”

“You’re afraid I’ll fail,” he stated, feeling her confidence in him waver.

“NO… no,” She said harshly and then with more composure. She flicked her eyes back to the other girl in the room before saying what she wanted to say, making sure she had his eyes on her. “I don’t want to let you go again. I’m too afraid to lose you.”

Ben met her deadly serious gaze with his own. “You’re not and you won’t.”

She swallowed and stood from her chair. “We’ll talk again after the evacuation.” Pushing off this conversation was a good idea for now. She walked to one of the cabinets on the side. “I have something to show you."

She rummaged for a moment before turning around. “Finn brought it to me.” Her hands reached out to him to reveal a lightsaber, Anakin’s lightsaber.

He recognized it immediately, but only from holos. The saber had been lost during the Galactic Civil War. He felt a familiar tug of it as it called to him.

“The Skywalker saber.”

She nodded. “It was my father’s.” She swallowed those words down. “Though I prefer to remember it as my brother’s…” she paused before reaching out toward her son. “And it’s yours if you want it.”

Ben kept his eyes on the weapon, the blade of Anakin Skywalker. He lifted his chin to his Mom, a smirk appearing on his mouth. “Dad gives me his ship, you give me your family lightsaber…”

She met his smile. “That’s what you get for being our pride and joy.” 

Pride and joy? Even though he heard her say it, he didn’t believe it.

The door opened unceremoniously without a courtesy knock. 

“Hey,” Han said as an announcement that he was here.

Leia rolled her eyes in his direction, pulling the lightsaber back towards her. “Ever heard of knocking?”

He shook his head. “Knocking doesn’t apply here when you’re Mr. Organa.” He saw what she was holding and screwed his eyes at her. “What are you doin’ with that Jedi shit?”

Leia looked incredulous. “Han, don’t say that…”

“What,” He defended himself pointing to their son who was currently staying out of it. “He’s fully grown now.”

She turned away from him and focused back on her son. “It’s here if you want it, Ben.” The lightsaber went back into the cabinet. 

Han shut the door behind him and walked further into the room. “The Falcon’s ready to go.” He tilted his head to the younger woman in the room. “Rey’s comin’ with me?”

Leia gave him his second exasperated look that day. “You put her up to this?”

“Maybe,” he shrugged, twisting his face to give her that famous Solo charm.

Leia crossed her arms across her chest. “Actually, I need Rey here.”

His face fell and he turned to Rey with mock annoyance. “You see. I told you she was gonna try and steal you.” 

Rey watched the scene with interest and slight embarrassment. 

Han moved closer to the older woman with her arms and eyebrows crossed. “Sweetheart,” he said as his shoulders pressed back and his hands went to his holster, stopping directly in front of her. “I love you, but I saw her first!” 

“Honey.” Leia took one more step so her crossed elbows were just touching his chest. “Need I remind you about my means of persuasion.”

His eyes bugged out, but he had enough awareness to not over react. “Yes, you should remind me, but not here.” He turned to Rey with an arm around his wife, a united front once again. “Rey, it’s decided. You’re stayin’.”

Ben, still sitting and not physically showing any affliction, turned to look at Rey. “Welcome to my family.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks so much for all your notes! This present-day part picks up right after the last one, following through with Han and Leia. The next chapter follows up with Ben and Rey.
> 
> Enjoy!

_It was early. Too early in his opinion. No daylight to be seen outside, just the pitch black that told him to pull his wife closer and go back to sleep._

_He could have left last night, but he chose to spend the evening with his family watching a new holodrama that Ben chose for them. He wouldn’t have traded that time with them for the world, but this early morning rise was a serious pain._

_He did the opposite of what he wanted to do. He disentangled his limbs from his sleeping wife and did his best to keep the bed steady as he stood up. Once in the ‘fresher, he turned the blast on cold, hoping that would wake him up._

_As he stepped in and the water ran over his face, he felt the chill in his bones and bumps spread across his skin. Just what he needed to prepare for the long day ahead._

_A voice came from behind him and almost scared him out of his skin._

_“Gods, Han. It’s cold.”_

_His body flinched and his arm came up in a protective stance._

_“Kriff, sweetheart,” he said to her before turning the hot water on. “Warn a guy!”_

_“Sorry,” she apologized as she stepped into the now warm stream, her arms reaching around her shower partner._

_He held her shoulders. “I was tryin’ to wake up.”_

_“I’ll help you wake up.” Her head stretched as her lips started on his neck, her hair slowly soaking in the water that fell on it._

_When he felt her press closer to him, he held her back. “Nope, that part of my body is already awake.”_

_“I noticed,” she cooed, pressing herself back into him._

_He found himself backing up until he was against the wall. “Do you want me to be late?”_

_She sighed. “No,” she conceded stepping back from him with a final kiss to his chest._

_He quirked his eyes at her retreat. “I didn’t think you’d give up that easily.” His hands reached out to pull her back._

_She went back to him and placed a quick kiss on his lips. “I don’t want to, but you’re right. I just wanted to spend some more time with you before you leave.”_

_He sighed, now resigned to the fact that they would act responsibly. That involved them both taking the time to shower without a grand finale. It was enough though._

_The anticipation of being apart for almost a month was not something either of them looked forward to. She knew Han was excited to get away, take back to the sky where he belonged, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t be thinking about her and Ben every second of every day. It wasn’t often that his trips lasted longer than a week. But this was an exception._

_Even more than missing him, Leia was worried about caring for Ben all by herself while he was gone. They had learned the art of co-parenting so well, she was nervous about taking over completely even with soliciting the help of LC again._

_As the last of the soap dripped from their bodies, Han turned off the water and got them both towels to dry off. They maneuvered around each other as they got ready together, first dressing, and then taking time in front of the reflector to shave and do hair. Neither spoke much, they didn’t need to._

_He was in the kitchen first while BX brewed some kaff for them to start the day. A slight dust of light was now coming in from the windows, marking that morning had officially arrived._

_His wife came in a few minutes later, hair already finished and light makeup applied. She grabbed her cup between her hands and took a sip before lowering herself into the barstool beside him._

_Han took another long sip and looked back to the window, the light growing ever more present. “I’ll check in to see if Ben’s up.” He gave his son his goodbyes when he put him to bed the previous night, with a caveat that he may see his father the next morning if he woke up early enough. Ben was very excited by that idea and promised he would be up to see his father off._

_But as Han expected, his little starfighter was conked out when he peeked in, lying on his back with his arms bent outwards and his head tilted to the far side of the room._

_“Still sleeping,” Han announced as he made his way back into the kitchen._

_Leia took another sip as she stood and then placed the mug back on the counter. “You said your goodbyes last night.”_

_Han moved up to her, arms circling her waist and pulling her close for a hug._

_She sighed into him, her cheek resting against his chest. Her eyes stayed open as she pictured the long month ahead._

_“Stay safe,” she said pulling her head back from him and tilting to look at him._

_“I will,” he answered as he lowered his lips for a kiss. “Be back before you know it.” Another kiss._

_She doubted that would be true._

_He stepped back, turning towards the door. He grabbed his packed bag and hoisted it over his shoulder before glancing back at her. “Love you.”_

_“I know,” she answered as he closed the door behind him._

_It was another half an hour before the youngest Solo made himself known. And he made himself known in quite a dramatic way. Leia heard a stampede of feet through the hall, stopping as he found her in the kitchen._

_“Daddy?” He asked, morning sleepiness nowhere in sight._

_She put her holopad that she had been working on beside her kaff on the table. Her attention now on her son._

_“Daddy left for his work trip, remember. He said goodbye to you last night.”_

_She saw it coming a split second before it happened. The slight pout of a lip before his eyes scrunched, his mouth opened, and a wail to shake the galaxy emerged. The tears followed immediately._

_This wasn’t his usual ‘I’m being stubborn’ cry or his ‘I’m tired’ cry. This was something she didn’t know what to do with._

_“Ben, baby,” she knelt at his side. “It’s okay. Daddy will be back before you know it.”_

_He gasped for breath as each wail continued._

_“Sweetie.” She pulled him into her embrace and felt him shaking from the emotions that were just too big for his little body to handle. She was starting to get worried when he finally managed to gasp out some words._

_“Wanna…say…goodbye…Daddy…”_

_“Ben,” she stroked her fingers through her son’s long hair. “Daddy will be back.”_

_Ben had realized that this would be a longer trip than usual. He could feel the difference in the aura that was emanating from both of his parents the night before. It's seeped into his subconscious and brought about the scene this morning._

_“Wanna…say…goodbye…” The little boy kept chanting._

_“Baby.” Her heart was breaking for him, and she wasn’t in the right headspace to try and redirect him. So she did the only thing she could think of at that moment, packed him into the speeder and drove to the hanger._

_The Falcon was still there, thank goodness. They hadn't missed him._

_Ben managed to unbuckle himself from his seat and jumped out immediately after the speeder stopped. He saw his father’s ship and went running. There were early morning crew members passing the hanger, starting their day. They turned their heads as the little boy in his pajamas ran through their scene._

_Leia followed behind doing her best to keep up, but Ben was on a mission. The Falcon’s ramp was still down when he reached it, but no Han in sight._

_“Daddy!” He said scanning the area._

_“Ben,” Han looked down from the top of his ship. “Kid, what's going on?” He immediately went into action and climbed down the ladder on the far side of the ship. When he reached the ground, he saw Leia standing with their son._

_“He wanted to say goodbye,” she shared, out of breath. “There were tears… I caved…”_

_Han stopped his forward motion and bent down as his son’s little legs finally reached his father. Ben was soon in his arms, holding tightly to the man’s neck._

_“I wanted to say goodbye.” Ben’s voice was muffled as his mouth nestled in Han’s shoulder._

_“You wanted to say goodbye…” Han repeated as his cheek brushed his son’s head. He felt the little head nod. “Thanks, kid. I’m gonna miss you.”_

_Han felt his eyes close as he cuddled his boy close. Ben was willing to take as much as his father had to offer. It was all too soon that Han reluctantly pulled back. “I gotta go now, buddy.”_

_Ben stepped back of his own accord, wiping his cheeks of residue. “Okay, Daddy.”_

_“You take care of Mommy, okay? Do what she says.”_

_He nodded his promise. “I’s take care of Mommy.”_

_Han kept his hands on the boy's arms as he took a last look at his likeness. “Love you, kid.” With a last kiss on his forehead, Han stood up. He gave Leia a final loving look before turning back to his work, readying himself for the long trip._

_Ben turned and scampered back to his mother, raising his arms so she could pick him up. He was almost too big for her to handle, almost._

_“Is it okay now?” She asked as they both looked at the space where the last member of their family had gone._

_Ben nodded. It was okay now. “I’s just needed one more hug.”_

* * *

“Is everything ready?” Leia asked as she turned to face her husband once again and his arm slid from her shoulder. 

Han mainly addressed her, but he was also aware that Rey and Ben were still in Leia’s office with them. “As good as she can be.”

“You took a look at the ignition line?” Rey asked.

Han nodded at her. “It’s touchy, but I used a Harris wrench on her…”

“You tightened the ignition line?” Rey asked, her face contorting with perplexity.

“No.” Ben’s own face contorted, but with an attempt to hide a smile. “I’m sure he used the wrench to wrap around the ignition line to keep it in place.” He actually did let the corner of his mouth rise now. “Creative.”

Han mirrored his son’s smirk. “Thanks, kid. It took some thinkin’ but it works.”

Leia shook her head and took him in under her eyelids. “Someday you're going to be wrong about that ship, and I hope I'm there to see it.”

He chuckled, turning to her. “That day will not be today,” he said placing his hands on her shoulders and a kiss on her forehead. “I’ll comm you when I can.”

“My people already know to expect it and to find me, day or night.” She brought her hand up to rub his arm before he stepped back.

Two more people in the room. He thought back to the times his little Ben would say goodbye. His arms clinging to his father’s neck. And the one time he made Leia drive him out to the Falcon’s hanger for one more hug. Where had that boy gone? Well, he had grown up. And now it was awkward.

Han stepped towards the man in the chair and let his hand fall firmly on Ben’s shoulder. “See you, kid.”

It was Han who took the first step, but Ben who took the second. The younger man stood from his chair, now face to face with his father. He raised one arm and wrapped it around the older man’s shoulders as casually as he could manage.

Han didn’t know how much this would mean to him until it happened. It wasn’t drawn out or full of deep emotion, but it was enough. More than enough. 

“Bye, Dad.” Han felt his son’s fingers press into him for a moment before he drew back. 

Han’s grin was contagious as he too drew back and placed a few pats on his son’s shoulder before breaking. 

Turning away, he took a step towards the door before addressing the last person in the room. “Rey,” he nodded his head towards her.

He was surprised when she came closer to him and automatically wrapped her arms around his middle. The shock soon wore off and he let his hands reciprocate, patting her on the back. “Take care, Rey.”

She pulled back with a comforted smile. “Good luck.”

“I’ll walk with you.” His wife walked past him to the door and opened it as he went through.

They started a slow pace through the headquarters where she gave off a few orders and then fell in step beside him. His arm automatically went around her shoulders and she reciprocated with an arm around his waist, bringing her other hand to meet his.

“You told them?” He gestured towards the team she just spoke with.

She nodded. 

“What did they say?”

“Not much. I TOLD them that Ben Solo was free to walk around and should be given the space to do so.”

“Ben’s back,” he said what they were both thinking.

She shook her head, still in a state of bewilderment. “I can finally understand something I never thought I could possibly perceive.”

“Hum?” He hummed interest.

“I now know how Padmé felt.”

At the mention of that name, he unconsciously tensed. Leia couldn’t have evolved all that much in the years they spent apart to actually be able to utter anything about her birth parents with understanding. 

Leia continued, her voice calmer and more grounded than ever after that name slipped from her lips. 

“She loved him. No act so terrible could ever change that.”

Han felt it too. Unconditional love conquered irredeemable acts.

His face fell into annoyance as he remembered where they were walking towards. “All this happens and now I have to go off to spend time with your brother.”

She felt her exasperation for this particular argument growing. “Han, stop giving Luke so much credit for your woes.”

He knew she was right, but he would much rather stay here with his reunited family than fly off to the in-laws, especially if that in-law didn’t want to see you as much as you didn’t want to see them. 

It was like she read his mind, maybe she did… “You’re the best person I can send who I trust with my brother and who may be able to convince him to come back.”

He pursed his lips. “You know I’m doin’ it for you, not for him.”

“I know.”

They walked together a few paces, before she realized he was staring at her with a curious look of worry and remorse.

“Now what are you thinking about?”

He swallowed keeping his eyes on her. “Rey.”

Not what she expected. “What about her?”

“You like her.”

“So do you. What’s your point?”

He paused. “She’s force sensitive.”

“Yes.” The fact that even he knew that made her curious about this girl.

“She’s a damn good pilot.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“She’s probably like 19.” He pressed his lips together as he did some painful math. “A little younger than ours would have been.”

Leia caught on. Of course she had thought about it, but him acknowledging it made it that much more real and the hurt that came along, present.

He said it, solemnly. “She’s like the daughter we never had.”

She swallowed the long worn sorrow and pain down. “She’s like the daughter we lost.”

He felt his stomach twist and cleared his throat to try and stem down the emotion, the painful conversations they had. His fear for Leia’s life if she were to become pregnant again after Ben’s challenging birth. The moment when his fears were confronted when she indeed was carrying another child. And then the pain and devastation of the loss of that child only a few weeks into term. The blame he put on himself for feeling an ounce of relief that Leia wouldn’t be put through another birth, that he wouldn’t lose her. Selfish bastard, he told himself.

“I do like Rey.” Leia interrupted his internal deprecation with a squeeze at his waist.

“She likes you too.”

Leia tilted her head up to his. “And you.”

“She got any family?”

Leia shook her head. “Her parents left her on Jakku when she was just a child. She was waiting for them to come back for her for years.”

He took in this information and added it to the growing body of knowledge he had about this girl. “She wants a family.”

“She does.” Leia saw the Falcon come into view. Their time was running up. “I think she found one.”

She felt him squeeze her shoulder tighter as they stopped. “Yeah, I think she has.”

This was it. “You know your target location?”

“Yeah, yeah,” he dismissed. “Brother dearest will be in my sights soon.”

She dismissed his quip. “And if we need to move locations before you get back…”

He finished for her. “I know. You’ll send a coded message of the new base location with Xs and Os.”

She chuckled, he was ready. She held his upper arms in her hands as she stroked them up and down. “Stay safe. Come home to me in one piece. That’s how I like you best,” she said tilting to look at him. 

“I will,” he answered as he lowered his lips for a kiss. “Be back before you know it.” Another kiss.

[Let’s go, cub,] Chewie called from the Falcon’s ramp.

“Take care of him, Chewie,” Leia called back as Han rolled his eyes.

[I will bring him home, Princess.]

Han was about to step away when he felt her arms wrap around his waist. She felt a snicker rise as she recited a line from days gone by. 

“I just needed one more hug.”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 18! Enjoy! There are a lot of little parallels from the flashback to the present day I hope you catch!
> 
> I love reading your notes telling me what you think and what you are excited for. Actually, someone's note has me writing a whole additional chapter to include! Keep them coming!

_Ben had both his palms over his own mouth so he wouldn’t let a giggle out. It was hard though. The faces his Mommy was making as she crouched next to him under the tree brush was a funny sight to behold._

_“Oh Ben… Leia…” He called making a scene. Luckily the only two people in the nearby vicinity were his family. Although where they were, he didn’t know._

_They heard the crunch of his boots on the forest floor. Ben knew now he had to be really quiet and his Mommy put a finger to her lips to remind him._

_“Buddy… Mommy… Mud magnet… Stinky feet…”_

_He couldn’t do it. A laugh snuck out of his mouth before he could stop it and before he knew it, his father’s feet appeared in their sightline._

_“Found you!” He called triumphantly._

_Ben jumped up from behind the brush and ran around his father “Found us!”_

_“Whatever gave us away?” Leia asked sarcastically as she stood._

_“Other than the obvious, giggles,” Han grabbed under Ben’s arms and lifted him hight in the air, prompting more giggles. “Your bright blue dress is kind of a giveaway.”_

_“Well, I can’t help that,” She brushed some of the leaves from the gown. “The ceremony is starting soon.”_

_The Organa-Solo family traveled together to Yavin to celebrate Leia’s friend, and fellow Alderaanian, Evaan Verlaine’s wedding. It was through Evaan’s work connecting surviving Alderaanians that she met her fiancé, Pad Bara. She felt like hosting her wedding on Yavin 4, where the Rebels destroyed the first Death Star, was a fitting tribute to the world they lost._

_Leia was all too happy for her friend and was thrilled to have some time away from Chandrila and from her work. It was made all the better that Han and Ben joined her._

_“Daddy hides next!” Ben exclaimed jumping on his toes. She was glad her boys didn’t need to dress up for the outside ceremony. They already managed to get dirt stains on their everyday pants. She was having a challenging time keeping her dress tidy. She would be presiding over the wedding, as the Princess of her former planet._

_“You wanna hide with me?” Han asked enthusiastically as he lowered his son back to the ground._

_Ben shook his head. “I’lls find with Mommy.”_

_She gave him a smug look as she took Ben’s hand. “Guess I’m the favorite now.”_

_“You’re everybody’s favorite,” he confirmed. “Including mine.”_

_She gave him a raise of her eyebrows before she and Ben walked back to the tree trunk that was their counting place._

_“No Force help,” he warned pointing first at Leia and then at Ben. Both his family members nodded as their promise. “Old fashion way. With your own intuition.”_

_“Let’s count to ten,” Leia said. They closed their eyes and counted together._

_When they reached ten, Ben threw his eyes open and started scurrying around the labyrinth of trees, looking high and low._

_“Where do you think he is?” Leia whispered, lowering her body slightly so it was like they were sneaking around._

_“This way.” Ben pointed to an overgrown path off to their right and started running down it. Leia followed close behind, wads of flowing fabric draped over her arm to give her legs more freedom._

_Ben stopped a distance ahead and she caught up to him. “See anything?”_

_Ben pointed again and they both started tip-toeing in that direction. They didn’t get far before their hearts went into their throats._

_“GRAWR!” A voice yelled as a hand reached out to grab her waist and the little boy’s shoulder from behind._

_The shrieks he got from both of them were even more than he could have asked for. Lingering shrieks as Ben’s legs ran out of his grasp. Leia felt the adrenaline shoot to her feet as they tried to run, but her legs, unfortunately, got caught in her dress and she started to tumble over._

_Her pursuer saw her tilt and reached to keep her upright. It didn’t work because they both landed smack on the ground._

_She turned quickly to see her stalker on the ground beside her, laying on his back howling with laughter. “Han Solo!” She wound up and smacked his shoulder, hoping that would take care of the satisfied smirk that accompanied his guffaws._

_Ben was revived and now laughing along with Han as he joined his family on the ground, flying forward to belly flop on his father._

_“I got you good,” Han said as he tickled Ben’s sides and sat upon the grassy area, letting his son stand beside him._

_Leia was still catching her breath. “Got us, did you? Almost gave me a heart attack and a broken nose.”_

_“Broken nose?” He questioned scanning her perfectly intact face. “Let me see?”_

_She tried to duck out of his inspection, but his hands reached her jaw and the only place she had to move was to lay back on the grassy knoll they found themselves in._

_“Han…” she warned backing away, a smile filling her face as she realized where this was heading._

_“I just wanna see,” he answered oh so innocently bringing his face to hers, inspecting her nose with a close up look. “Don’t see anything.”_

_She felt his breath on her lips and parted her own. “Look closer.”_

_So he did. And that is how their lips became locked and how he came to be positioned half on top of her as she was flush against the ground._

_He was interrupted by a small tug on the back of his vest. “Get off!” The little voice insisted now moving to push his shoulder. “Stop kissing.”_

_Han tilted up so he was resting on one elbow. “Why?” He questioned his son playfully._

_Ben took the moment of opportunity to place himself between his mother and father, squeezing his body between them and pushing Han beside them. He then laid himself onto of his mother and curled up against her chest. “She’s my Mommy.”_

_“Oh, is she?” He asked back, now sitting flat on his bottom while the little man stole his wife. He capitulated to the cute eyes Ben was giving him and Leia’s amused glance. Instead, he chose to lay down beside them as they gazed at the treetops high above them. “You know, Mommy and I got married in a forest a lot like this.”_

_“Endor,” Ben said, remembering the story._

_“That’s right,” Leia confirmed, her hand stroking over Ben’s back._

_“Like Evaan is getting married?” Ben asked._

_She nodded. “Um-hum. To Pad.”_

_Ben thought about that. “I’s getting married someday.”_

_“Oh really?” Han brought himself back up to his elbow to get a better look at his son. “Who you gonna marry?”_

_He said it with such innocence it was truly endearing. “I’s gonna marry Mommy.”_

_Leia heard a hissing giggle come from her own lips._

_Han answered with his own amused smirk. “That’s not how it works, kid.”_

_Leia managed to sit up with her elbow for support. “Well when you grow up, you might find a person you want to spend the rest of your life with.”_

_“And get married,” Han added._

_Ben sat up so he was sitting more on his Mommy’s lap and shook his head. “No.”_

_Han tilted his head. “Well you might want to get married someday. Never thought I would until your mother came along.”_

_“Or you may not…” Leia added, making sure he had options. “It’s your choice, sweetie.”_

_“True,” Han concurred. “I’ll take a pretty special person to deserve you.”_

_Ben seemed to think for a moment. “I’s think…”_

_He held both his parent’s attention._

_“I wanna hide this time.”_

* * *

They were left alone when the door shut behind his parents. 

Rey was silent for a moment, her eyes on the closed door before she turned to the other person in the room. “Are they all like that?”

“Maybe not all, but mine certainly are.”

Rey took in the man before her. His eyes turned to her as he sat in his chair once again. Leaning back, he looked comfortable. Not comfortable in his position, but comfortable to relax with her there. She was guessing that not too many people or things brought Ben Solo comfort right now. She felt her stomach expand and contract with her breath as she internalized the thought that maybe he trusted her, that maybe she really could help him settle into his role as Ben Solo.

She was glad to have the room with him. There was something she wanted to talk to him about, but she didn’t know how to begin. She suspected he could help her. With these thoughts in mind, she pulled another chair to sit across from him. She leaned forward head down, but eyes up.

“The Skywalker saber…”

Ben could clearly see something important was on her mind. “What about it?”

She spoke seriously and directly. “I’m the one who found it.”

He was curious. “Where did you find it?”

“Actually it found me.” That was true. “I felt something calling to me in Maz’s lower level…” Her eyebrows pressed together, remembering what happened and the dam she felt it unlocked. “I touched it and… I felt transported, to the past, the future.”

Ben listened with deep interest. He had similar experiences with previously owned Jedi materials and another reaction when he first touched his grandfather’s mask. But it sounded like Rey had a visceral reaction… to his family’s heirloom. 

When she knew she had his attention, she continued. “I felt the same thing happen again when…”

He answered knowing exactly what she was going to say. “When you touched my hand.” He inhaled and exhaled before confessing, “I felt it too.”

So she wasn’t crazy. That was a relief. “What does it mean?”

He looked at her watching him with intrigue, hoping he could give her the answers she was looking for. But he couldn’t. “I don’t know.” He tried to think through this. “My mother and I always had a connection. She is much easier to find in the Force than others.”

“But this isn’t like that,” Rey countered.

“No, it’s not like that.” A faraway memory drifted into his mind. He let his eyes wander as he remembered. “There was a prophecy. Something about a dyad in the Force. Two people, one Force presence.”

She nodded her head, acting like she understood what he was saying. He must have seen through her, though.

He sat up in his chair and reached out, palm up. “Give me your hand.”

She sat up as well and reached back without dither. Her fingers lightly touched his palm first before the rest of it settled into his grasp. The first thing she thought was how warm it was, not just because of his body temperature but because of the energy she felt settle inside her. It wasn’t as dramatic an experience as when she first touched him, but it was there, soothing, comforting.

She found his eyes… and knew he felt it too. 

He let his thumb come up to roll over her fingers. “Could be a dyad, or something else…” What else, he didn’t know or didn’t want to admit right now.

He cut off that thought and brought back into focus the idea he had been considering. With Rey now sitting in front of him, he decided to take action.

“Come on,” he said severing their physical connection and standing abruptly.

She looked up at him for a moment before standing up. “Where are we going?”

He grabbed two quarterstaffs that were leaning in the corner of his mother’s office and headed straight for the door.

“What are you doing?”

He turned back to her from the door frame. “What every son does best. Defy his parent’s wishes.” With that, he left the room leaving her gaping in his wake.

“You’re going to confront Snoke,” she stated following after him, not worried about the looks they were attracting from the recruits in the halls.

“I am. Snoke won’t stay in the same place for long. We have to move quickly.” He was clear with his intentions. “And I want you to come.”

That had her stop in her tracks. “Me?”

He realized she stopped walking, so he turned back around to face her. “No the other Force-sensitive being in front of me.” As Ben’s mind planted a firm stake in this idea, so came his nerve ridden retorts.

Her eyes rolled across her lids at the sarcasm.

“Yes you!” He said, his eyes opening wide.

Rey tightened her face and crossed her arms. “No.”

“Rey…” He tried to appeal to her.

“No. The General said…”

Ben interrupted with a step back and bringing his arms out to the side. “She wants to protect me, but she knows I can help.”

She stood with her arms still crossed and turned her face to the side.

Ben lowered his head, trying to think of another way to convince her. “Channel your inner teenage rebel from the years you missed.” He raised his head. “Think of this as the first time you disobey your parents.”

“Why should I?” She asked, a bite in her tone.

“Because.” He answered at first with a shrug. Then he took a step closer and caught her eyes. “I need you.”

She took a moment to stare back at him. He needed her.

Before she could reply, he was again walking through the halls and towards the outside.

She couldn’t help but follow closely. “You have a plan.”

“I do.” His pace quickened.

She wasn’t so sure. “Are you just saying that to impress me or do you actually have a foolproof plan?” As they stepped outside and he led them behind one of the large hangers.

“Yes, mostly.” He wiggled his hand to his side so she could see it.

She huffed in exasperation.

“It’s all there,” he tried to appeal to her, the Solo in him on full display. “I just need to… think it through a little more.”

She assumed he had reached his target destination when he stopped. The back of the hanger held a private grassy area with a boulder wall a distance away. It was secluded enough that no recruits were likely to walk into their view.

Ben immediately turned to her, a new look of reservation and pleading in his eyes. “This is how I make things right,” he said, doing his best to appeal to her. “I can teach you. I believe we can take down Snoke.”

She huffed and turned her head to the side for a moment. If what he was saying was true, galactic peace could be much more tangible than anyone realized. Wasn’t it instinctive of her to do her duty for that peace? 

Rey thought, let her mind drift to thoughts of the person she wanted to become. It wasn’t a common thread of inquiry during her many years on Jakku where options for her future were scarce. But now, she had autonomy, the freedom of choice. And she felt her gifts in the Force urging her to explore the power within her. But in order to do that, she needed help. His help.

“Okay…”

“Good. Now first…” He launched into his first lesson only to be cut off by her finger pointed at him. 

“No,” she stopped him. “Okay I’ll let you teach me some things and then I’ll make my decision on whether confronting Snoke is sane or stupid.”

“Fine.” He would take that assurance for now and use it as a challenge for himself.

He placed the quarterstaffs on the ground. “I have a short time to teach you the basics.” He then scanned their surroundings and moved towards the boulders. “We’re not going into full meditation, but basic Force defense practices, got it?”

“Okay,” she nodded taking a breath, already feeling overwhelmed.

Ben took one of his own breaths. He had never done this either, trained another Jedi. Heck, he hadn’t been a fully trained Jedi himself. But that’s not what this is, he reminded himself. They just needed enough combined strength to defeat Snoke.

He gestured to a large rock that was jutting out from the wall. “Sit down.”

She did. Her legs dangling over the edge and her back up straight.

He stood to her side, giving the instructions. “Hands on your knees… Close your eyes.”

He watched as she settled in and did as he asked. She was anxious to learn. He took note of that.

When she was ready, he instructed, “Reach out…”

Her arm immediately flipped up, fingers spread.

He shoved her arm down with his hand. “Not like that…” He reprimanded with slight amusement. “In your mind, with the Force.”

“Oh…” she said as she closed her eyes and tried again.

He began again. “We’re not going too deep into meditation, just enough to feel the thread of elements around you.” He watched as her face melted into a serene state. “Reach out like you did when you passed through the shield.”

He gave her a moment and then noticed a pull within himself. He felt her.

“You feel it,” he stated.

She parted her lips. “I feel something, a humming…”

“Yes,” he encouraged. “It’s the Force.”

He watched her sitting there physically and felt her reaching out through his mind.

He continued to talk her through, elaborating on what she was feeling. “You feel the energy field created by all living things. It surrounds us and penetrates us. It binds the galaxy together with a tension, a balance, between the light and the dark.” 

She was taking this in and using it to explore this new sense. 

“And you have the gift, the natural ability to feel it, to harness it, and use it.”

“Use it for what?” She asked in a whisper.

For what? He didn’t want to have to explain this. Where he and his choices failed. “That is the question. Use it to bring balance to the world or to destroy it because of your own fears.”

She understood his terse response but countered it with her own dedication. “I want to bring balance, like the Jedi before me.”

He rolled his eyes, but she couldn’t yet see the irony in her statement. “We’ll talk about the failures of the Jedi another time.” He refocused on her. “For now, find your own balance and stay there.”

She nodded.

She was in-tuned, not to the extent to be an expert, but he thought it would be enough. “Now open your eyes and stand, but stay in that place.” He stepped back and picked up the items he dropped.

She did as asked and caught the quarterstaff he threw her way, holding the other one in his own hands.

“Channel that energy into your defense. Let it guide you.”

She held the familiar item in both her hands and jumped from one foot to another, warming her muscles up. His face grimaced when she twisted her neck each way to release two resounding cracks.

“Ugg…” he exclaimed. “That’s disgusting.”

She gave him an amused grin as she proceeded to crack her back and her fingers to his dislike.

He watched as she finally took her stance with her weapon and he did the same. She obviously felt comfortable with the long weapon as she flipped it in her hands with practiced ease.

He started easy. With a flick of his wrist, he came at her high, she blocked it. He returned to a rest position and struck again towards her middle. Blocked again. Next time he tried two consecutive maneuvers. She was good. 

They kept up their lungeing and dodging for longer than he expected. He still remembered how some of the new recruits at the training temple fared on their first day. She was leaps and bounds ahead of them. 

He finally got a chance at a complicated attack maneuver, this time using his leg to aim for her side as he lunged. She dodged it, but he was quicker, using the quarterstaff at the back of her legs to trip her onto the ground.

“That was mean,” she grunted angrily from the grassy plain. 

He kept his face serious, his mind focused. “No, it was a challenge. The first attack distracted you and you couldn’t feel the second coming.” He paused before imparting another piece of wisdom that was passed onto him. “Don’t use your eyes, feel it. You need to keep your mind attuned to that power.”

“How?” She was tired, frustrated. She rubbed the bit of sweat that began to trail on her forehead.

He shifted his weight as he tried to find the words to describe… how. “Find something inside of you to act as an anchor, an emotion, a feeling.” He found the right words. “A reason… to use the power you have.”

She closed her eyes again, hearing his words and letting them ripple through her. ‘A reason to use the power.’ ‘An anchor.’ ‘A feeling.’ She had feelings. But what was this feeling? 

He held out a helping hand to her as she sat on the ground, watching her face twist as she contemplated his words. “Do you trust me?”

‘A reason.’ Her eyes turned to his. ‘A feeling.’ She felt his connection pour out to her. ‘An anchor.’ She reached for his upturned hand. “I do."


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone caught Rey's final line in the last chapter as it applies to the topic of discussion in the flashback...
> 
> This is the chapter that I originally did not include. But so many people wanted to see Luke and Han's interactions, so I wrote this yesterday and I am so glad I did!
> 
> As always, your comments are so appreciated! Enjoy!

_She broke from the ‘welcome home’ peck on her lips she received when she walked through the door at the end of her long day._

_“Luke says he’s going to comm us tonight.”_

_Han kept his lips puckered, clearly not thrilled to part from their caress to hear anything other than sweet nothings whispered into his ear._

_“Okay,” he started, fondling her arms as his fingertips moved towards her shoulders. “Can we make it a rule that I get at least an uninterrupted minute when you get home?”_

_She smirked at his idea, just as another interruption made himself known._

_“Mommy!” Ben launched himself into her legs._

_“Hey, bubba!” Leia bent over to give her little boy a big hug and a kiss on his forehead.”How was school today?”_

_“Good!” Ben exclaimed with the same answer he gave every day._

_“Did you get to practice your favorite song again?” Leia asked, trying to get him to elaborate on the ‘good.’ Ben had come home from his daycare school the previous week singing a new song that he learned. His new favorite._

_Ben nodded vigorously. “I’s sang nice and loud.”_

_“Good job, my boy,” She ran her fingers through his hair once more before standing. “Uncle Luke is going to comm us tonight.”_

_That had Ben’s excitement level dial up to an 11 as he jumped._

_“I’s can talk to Uncle Luke?” Ben asked._

_Leia nodded as she took a few more steps into the apartment. “Yes you can, bubba,”_

_“How’d you know he’s gonna call?” Han asked from behind her_

_She turned to give him a raised eyebrow and eyed him with a look._

_“Oh,” he uttered his realization. “Twins. Jedi twins.”_

_Ben followed behind her. “Uncle Luke is a twin.”_

_“That’s right. We’re twins.”_

_“Can I’s have a twin?”_

_She stopped in the middle of the living area to turn to him. “No, Ben,” she said with a giggle. “Twins are when two babies are born at the same time.”_

_“Oh,” Ben said, maybe not fully understanding yet._

_“Hey, buddy,” Han called as he followed his family. “Let’s get our jam-jams on before dinner, so we are all ready for bed when we talk to Uncle Luke.”_

_Ben thought that was a good idea, so he darted down the hallway to his room, getting ready to see the elusive man that was his Uncle Luke._

_Luke was right on the schedule Leia outlined for him through a quick mind message. The Organa-Solo family had just finished dinner as they heard the incoming holo message beep from Leia’s office._

_Leia instructed her son to finish his vegetables before she moved through the apartment and into her office to answer._

_She let her euphoric grin grow as his clear blue image appeared. “Luke!”_

_“Hey, sis,” the blue image spoke back, his own smile lighting up the room._

_“I didn’t think you would be able to get through to us until next month.”_

_The blue Jedi nodded. “I thought so too, but I had a detour…” Luke was out again scouring the far reaches of the galaxy for lost Jedi artifacts and memorabilia, hunting down leads that helped grow his impressive collection. His ultimate success would be if he eventually located the elusive Jedi temple. And so he kept searching._

_“Where are you?”_

_There was a pregnant pause before he reluctantly answered. “Mustafar…”_

_Leia wished she hadn’t asked. She now knew the reason for his detour. “Have fun with that…” She said as she closed that conversation._

_Han came into the door frame just as Luke changed the topic of discussion._

_“How’s your first husband doing?”_

_She snickered. “I’ll let number one speak for himself.” She gestured the ex-smuggler to move in closer to the image._

_“Oh. Hi Han,” Luke said without any embarrassment at being overheard._

_“Hey, kid,” Han uttered as his own smile grew. “Find any more fairy dust yet?”_

_Luke’s eyebrows rose with little enthusiasm for what Han referred to his Jedi collection. “Laugh it up.”_

_“Ah…” Han smiled playfully as he sat in a chair beside Leia and waved his hand. “You can take it. I’ll always be your favorite brother-in-law.”_

_Luke pretended to be more annoyed than he was. “You’re my only brother-in-law… so far.” He added the last bit to mess with the other man._

_“True,” Han cocked his head in thought as his arm found its way to the back of Leia’s chair. “She’ll have time for at least two more husbands after I’m long dead.”_

_“Han…” Leia warned, averse to this topic of discussion as well._

_“But I’ll always be your favorite brother-in-law.” Han ended the statement with a smolder that would make any being, man or woman, submit._

_Luke shook his head in exasperation. You couldn’t pick your family, but sometimes it felt like he did. “How’s my nephew?”_

_Han looked to the door. “Finishing up his dinner. Should be here soon.”_

_“I wish you could have seen his face when I told him you were calling.” Leia tried to explain the joy with words. “He was beaming.”_

_Those words brought about a burst of pride from the Jedi._

_Han heard the pattering of feet. “Here he comes.”_

_Ben turned the corner into his Mommy’s office and rand towards his gathered family, climbing immediately onto his father’s lap and presenting himself to his Uncle._

_“Hey, Ben!” Luke greeted. “How’s my nephew?”_

_“Good,” Ben said, suddenly going shy when in the company of the elusive, legendary man he heard more about than actually saw._

_“How do you like that lightsaber toy I got you for your birthday?”_

_“Good,” Ben answered remembering the toy his Mommy made him keep on their balcony._

_“It’s an outside toy,” Leia clarified. “There will be no slicing anything breakable in this house.”_

_Ben turned to his mother with curiosity. “Does Uncle Luke have to play with his lightsaber outside too?”_

_Leia thought about the best way to answer before simply nodding her head. “Yes, he does.”_

_Luke was obviously amused by her answer as his laughter echoed through the room. “I tell you what, Ben. I’m planning a trip to Chandrila next month. Maybe we can both play outside with our lightsabers then?”_

_Leia was thrilled to hear she would have the opportunity to see her brother again, but she heightened her excitement for Ben’s sake. “Wow, what do you think about that Ben?”_

_“Good,” he said, not fully comprehending what was happening, but still interested._

_Ben leaned forward on his Mommy’s desk a bit more to take a closer look at the glowing blue Jedi. He had some hair covering his chin. Ben thought that looked funny. And his draped robe was much different than the clothes his father wore. Ben thought he looked happy, he smiled. Ben liked that._

_“It’s been a while since we’ve been graced with the legendary Luke Skywalker’s presence,” Han quipped playfully._

_“It will be good to see you again,” Leia nodded her sentiment. It had been too long._

_“I know,” Luke acknowledged with regret. “I’ll visit more often. Promise.”_

* * *

  
Ahch-To was exactly what Han expected. Secluded, hard to get to, and even harder to find the right mass of land that was likely to have life on it. 

They landed near the lapping waves as that was the only flat surface on this damned planet. That meant he would need to travel the rest on foot. 

He stepped out onto the rocky ground and leaned back in a stretch, complementing it with a large inhale. He couldn’t help admiring the opulent scenery surrounding him. The fierce color of the greenery against the grayish-blue sky created quite the image. His eyes roamed to the stony paths he saw weaving around the mountains. This was it. Now came the hard part. 

“Come on, pal,” Han called to his co-pilot who was conveniently absent from view. “She’ll be fine.” By she, he of course meant his ship.

[You’re scared,] Chewie called him out while he kept his place at the top of the ramp.

“Am not!” Han insisted crossing his arms as he addressed the tall Wookie, made even taller by his position up the ramp.

[Get moving, cub. This is your battle.]

Battle was the appropriate word for how he was picturing this reunion going.

Chewie crossed his arms. [Or else I’ll fly her away right now and leave both of you here until you can figure things out.]

Han didn’t want to find out if Chewie was joking or not.

“Fine, I’m goin’!” He held up his hands to the Wookie as he placed one foot in front of the other, onwards to the first steps on the rocky path.

Nothing about this trip was easy and that included being able to find his brother-in-law in this labyrinth. 

Of course Luke would choose to occupy the highest peak on the island. The chill of the wind picked up as he reached the peak. The kid had come a long way from the flat deserts of Tatooine to these steep mountains. Frankly, right now Han would have preferred the desert. At least his knees would have appreciated that.

The path veered and so did his gaze, to the back of a man draped in heavy cream robes and a gray hooded cloak, standing at the very edge of the cliff. 

That was him alright. Han’s shoulders straightened and his hands went to his belt as he took the last few steps towards the figure, repressing his slight urge to use this time for blaster target practice. 

He waited for his puffs of breath to steady, garnering up both the courage and the restraint he needed to make one more move. 

“Luke.”

That was all he was going to say. He wouldn’t repeat the name he knew the stoic man already heard. 

It took a moment. Finally, the figure turned slowly towards him. The hooded cloak covered his face from full view, but Han could tell the exact moment the figure clapped eyes on him. There was a definite shift in his stance.

He pulled back the hood. He was older now, white hair, bearded. Han would find it hard to call him ‘kid,’ hard but not impossible. 

Luke stared back at Han. A tortured look in his eyes, but something remained of that innocent kid that Han had come to know and love. As Luke’s hands lowered, Han noticed the machine that became an extension of his limb. The pieces curled back to his side on command just as Luke’s chest expanded and his shoulders slumped. 

His lips parted.

“Go away,” he groaned with the years of bitterness that living did to someone.

Han took a pregnant pause, clicking his tongue on the roof of his mouth.

“Okay,” he nodded as he turned around with a scowl. “Nice chat.”

There was a part of him that wanted to just keep on walking. But he didn’t.

“Oh wait,” He stopped, turning back around. “I didn’t pick up my cargo yet.”

Luke hadn’t moved or spoken from the time he walked away. 

“It’s you,” Han clarified drolly. “You’re my cargo.”

The Jedi’s shoulders lifted and then fell with his breath and the fortifying of his defenses. “How did you find me?”

Han had to snicker at that question as he thought back to the challenges that information posed both him and the Resistance. ”Long story.” He nodded back towards the path he came from. “I’ll tell you on the Falcon.”

Walking a couple more steps, he could tell that Luke wasn’t following him.

“Come on, kid!” He looked back and waved the other man forward, expressing his thin patience.

The other man had to speak much louder for his voice to be heard over such a distance.

“Why are you here?”

The ex-smuggler turned back slowly, his heavy, reluctant feet taking him closer to what seemed like the only other living human on this gods forsaken planet.

“For Leia.” He answered the question like it was obvious.

“Do you always do what she says?” Luke said without changing a single expression in his tense body.

“Nah,” Han assured him. “If I did I would have been a much better person.”

A gust of wind came from below and swept up the Jedi’s cloak and sent his gray strands billowing. Gods, Han thought. Why did he always have to play the part of the ultimate, legendary hero? He even looked it right now. 

Or at least he did before he whipped his head to the side and his body followed, walking down the other side of the mountain with a pace that showed he was determined to get away.

Shit, Han thought again. It seemed Luke was gunning for a chase sequence, playing hard to get and forcing Han to play his game. Well it was working.

His knees continued to protest as he followed behind his brother-in-law down the slope and towards a small pod-like village. Made from stone, they were as fortified and as permanent as Han felt Luke was to this place. 

The man in front must have sensed he was being followed, because as he reached the front door to a specific pod on the far corner, he stopped, turned once more to gaze at the eyes of the man he never wanted to see again.

“Why are you here?”

Han shrugged. “Aren’t you gonna invite me in?”

“No,” The terse reply came.

“Okay, nice chat.” Han attempted to leave again, but this time was stopped by the other man’s words.

“Han.” The voice was more bewildered and regretful than before, truly asking for a reason for this surprise. “Why are you here?”

He gave him an honest answer as he faced the Jedi. “I told you. For Leia. She wants you.”

“Why?”

He listed a few things casually. “Resistance stuff, Jedi stuff, she thinks you can take down the First Order…”

That last part had Luke give out a mocking grin, dripping with disillusionment. “You don't need Luke Skywalker.”

“She says she does.” Although Han didn’t want to take this mission, he never questioned his wife on her validity of reason.

“What does she think?” The Jedi held out his arms to the side. “I'm gonna walk out with a laser sword and face down the whole First Order?” 

The tone of his words made that seem like a ridiculous idea. 

His voice raised with festering contempt. “What did you think was going to happen here? You think that I came to the most unfindable place in the galaxy for no reason at all…”

“No, I think you came here to hide…” Han spit out his retort. “From her and from me.”

The Jedi paused, eyes turning from anger to grief in a split second. “Go away.”

Han pursed his lips, his face contorting. “Wish I could. Wish I didn’t have to come at all.”

“Well that makes me feel so much better,” the other man replied, sarcasm oozing from his words. 

“It’s not supposed to.”

Another pregnant pause followed. A stalemate was reached. It was evident Han was not going to leave until he got what he wanted and it was obvious that Luke was not going to budge. So they swam around each other, talking, saying words that had been brewing deep in their minds for years. Having a conversation neither wanted to have.

The Jedi lowered his head. “I haven’t talked to you in…”

“Over 6 years,” Han answered, knowing to the day the last time he talked with this man.

Luke stalled, but Han relived every moment of their last conversation.

“You couldn’t even face us.” He shook his head with bewilderment. “Tell us what happened in person.” Han remembered the sheer animosity and hatred he directed at the holo projection of Luke as the Jedi recounted the reason why Ben Solo was gone all those years ago.

The man with the averted eyes answered. “I still can’t.”

“You can’t even look at me,” Han called him out, pointed at him as the Jedi’s head whipped to center.

“I never thought I’d see you again. I never wanted to…”

At least Han knew he was telling the truth about that.

Luke found his eyes all too easily wandering onto anything but his own brother-in-law, his old friend. His face and voice solemnly admitted, “I came to this island to die.” 

“Quit the drama, Luke.” Han wasn’t having it. He pushed back. “Take a tip from your sister. Buck up and face the music.” He pushed back hard. “You owe him that much…”

There was no chance that Luke didn’t understand the ‘him’ they were now discussing.

The Jedi shook his head, his lips parting a while before his regretful words fell out. “I didn’t mean for any of this to happen.” 

Another pause as Luke tried to find the words for this exchange he did everything to prevent.

“I thought I could train him, help him. I could pass on my strengths.” 

“We trusted you,” the father said through his teeth.

Luke shook his head. “Leia did, you…” Luke swallowed, bringing his honest reflections to the surface. “You never did. You never wanted Ben to train, live as a Jedi.”

Now Han swallowed. He couldn’t deny it because it was the truth, but he also knew that holding this over Luke’s head was not the way to proceed. 

So he let Luke carry on, speak the words in person as he should have done years ago.

“I saw darkness. I sensed it building in him.” The Jedi’s gaze went into the past, into a younger and idealistic version of himself. “And when I looked inside… Snoke had already turned his heart.” 

The now weathered man shook his head with unfortunate consent. “There was nothing I could do.”

Han disagreed. He disagreed strongly. “So what did you do next?” He knew the answer, but he needed to hear it come from the once legendary Luke Skywalker’s own lips.

“I didn’t act.” The Jedi began with his defense, doing his best to hold back the emotions that were threatening to leak through his eyes. “I didn’t try to kill him. It was a brief moment of pure instinct. And I was left with shame... so much shame and guilt.” 

Han saw the evidence of this. The man was torn apart. He wasn’t the same Luke Skywalker that commissioned Han Solo over 40 years ago. He wasn’t even the same brother-in-law Han knew when Ben was growing up. This man was broken, torture by years of living with his own grief.

If it was even possible, Luke leaned his head lower, his chin now completely on his chest as he leaned an arm against the wall of the pod. “And I was left with consequence.”

“Consequences that you left your sister to deal with.” Han felt his own words reflected back on him, but he chose to swallow those feelings and focus on Luke.

“It was me. I failed,” the Jedi admitted his true opinion.

Han had been waiting years for this moment. As much as he needed to hear and see that Luke understood his failure, he truly hated to see the light flickering out of the once sparkling, hopeful eyes. But there was one more thing Han needed to make clear.

Han lowered his own head briefly before raising it and taking a heavy step forward. “You wanna know the part of this that hurts the most.”

Whether it was his movements or his words that spurred him, Luke lifted his embittered eyes.

“Darth Vader.”

Luke didn’t get it. “What does he have to do with this?”

“He was your father,” Han answered.

Luke nodded, still not seeing what Han saw. “And his blood runs through Kylo Ren.”

“You confronted Vader. The evilest person in the galaxy.” Han hated to utter the next lines. “He tortured Leia.” He swallowed now that that was out. “He cut off your hand. Tortured me. He killed masses of people.”

Han could go on, but his point was made.

“But you saw that there was conflict inside him.” He pointed at Luke as he spoke. “You believed that he wasn't gone. That he could be turned.”

“I did,” Luke admitted honestly. “And there was good in him.”

Han felt himself enter a place of calm reserve as he blinked his blurring eyes. Very little anger was left in him, only extreme disappointment and sadness for what he lost, what his family lost.

“Then why didn’t you give that same courtesy to my son?”

Han’s simple, quiet words cut the Jedi like a physical dagger ripping through his entire body. His face fell, his energy depleted as the wall did more to hold him upright than his own legs.

There was no answer. Luke didn’t and couldn’t have an answer. At least nothing that would suffice the father before him.

Han took a breath as he looked at what was left of the legend before him. Now it was time to pick up the pieces.

“Luke,” Han began, taking a step forward. “Ben’s back. There was still Light in him.”

His words were obviously not comprehended by the still solemn man so he continued.

“A team an I went to their latest and greatest Death Star. He was there. He was injured, but we managed to get him out of there before the thing blew.”

He could see when Luke shifted some of his weight back on his feet and began to straighten up.

“We brought him back to the Resistance Base. He was out for a while, but with me and Leia and Rey…” Han paused, waiting for the Jedi’s face to turn towards him. “Ben Solo is back.”

The man’s face retained its grief-stricken core while also showing great relief and joy. “You’re sure?”

“Yeah. It’s Ben.”

If that made the Jedi feel any less guilty or any less determined in his choice to remain on this planet, he didn’t show it. If anything, he seemed even more determined to stay.

“You’re still wasting your time with me,” Luke muttered as he turned a final time to the pod door and moved to open it.

“For once, we both agree.” Han pursued his target. “But Leia doesn’t.”

Luke shook his head as he slammed the door open. “I can't be what she needs me to be.”

Han had enough.

With the force of a man who did not grow up on a farm on Tatooine or train as a noble Jedi, the ex-smuggler grabbed his brother-in-law’s shoulder and spun the shaken man to face him. He then placed himself in the doorway, his arm spread across making an entrance difficult. 

Luke was going to stop running. Stop hiding. 

“Then your sister deserves to hear that from your own mouth.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if I am late to realize this, but I was so so sad when I realized Luke saw the good in Darth Vader, he didn't try to kill him, but he didn't immediately give that courtesy to Ben... I got really sad for poot Ben and even more angry at Luke. I was glad I could include that in this chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for all your kind words! The plot is moving ahead!
> 
> Enjoy!

_It was more than a little embarrassing to have an image taken of you as you walked into your child’s daycare. Leia heard the snap as she followed her husband through the front door. ‘It was a damn parent!’ Han told her later. But for now she just ignored it._

_It was not like her presence there was a unique occurrence. She picked Ben up and dropped him off just as much as Han. Only she was usually the parent who stayed in the speeder while Ben hopped in whereas Han walked to the front door and mingled with the other parents. Either way, both of them together was causing quite a disturbance._

_She reminded herself, she was there for Ben, and making a scene was the last thing she wanted to do. They walked towards the main office and signed in._

_“Thank you Senator. I’m a big supporter.” The office worker gave her a delighted smile._

_Leia smiled back before following Han towards their son’s classroom._

_As they neared, more parents stood along the walls chatting, waiting for the classroom doors to open to begin their family day._

_There was an eerie lull in conversation as the Organa-Solo family approached and they got some side-eyes before conversations continued._

_“Hey Gloht,” Han said as he recognized one of the fathers from their usual pick up line in the crowd._

_“Han, how are you?”_

_“Can’t complain,” Han’s hands went to his belt, sans holster, as they chatted. “Ben’s been lookin’ forward to this for weeks.”_

_The other man smiled. “Yeah, Jeinger too.”_

_Han noticed the man’s eyes went to the person standing beside him. “Have you met Leia?”_

_The other man’s grin widened as he allowed his eyes to further look at the woman. “Never officially. Seen her in passing.” He lifted his hand to take hers and placed a kiss on the back. “Princess Leia.”_

_She plastered on her practiced diplomatic grin. “It’s a pleasure, Gloht. But please, call me Leia.”_

_Han wrapped an arm around her waist as he spoke to both of them. “Ben’s been singin’ us some of the stuff they’re doin’. Said Jeinger has her own lines or somethin’ to say.”_

_Gloht nodded. “She’s reciting a poem to…”_

_He was cut off as the door opened to the sounds of excited children and the teacher stepping out. A pleasant-looking human with a full smile and colorful expressions._

_“Welcome families! We are just finishing up playtime and then we will proceed into the program. Feel free to come and join in.”_

_Han and Leia fell into line with the other parents as they entered the spacious room. There were plenty of toys on the shelves the corners of the room, lots of blocks, spaceships, dolls, and figures. The walls were painted nice cheery colors and there was an ample amount of child artwork covering the space. The larger area of the room was fitted with tiny tables and chairs and a rug covered the last of the empty floor. The tables were already set with plates and cups, enough for all the families and children to have a spot._

_As the parents walked in, children started running up, smiles lighting up their glowing faces. Their child was no different._

_“Mommy! Daddy!” Ben yelled as he raised his arms over his head, running towards them._

_“Hey, kid!” Han exclaimed with just as much excitement as he knelt down to meet Ben’s hug._

_“Hey, bubba,” Leia cried, her voice lilting with excitement as Ben came to her hunched form next for his hug. “Are you ready?”_

_Ben nodded giddily, eyes sparkling. “I’s can show you my picture!”_

_He turned towards the art wall and pulled his mother’s hand along with him. Ben helped them weave through the crowd and to the side wall where he proudly pointed to his picture._

_Han and Leia looked on and did they customary, “Oh wow,” before Leia said. “Tell me about it?”_

_Ben pointed to the blobs. “It’s Mommy and me hiding and Daddy trying to find us?”_

_Then came the secondary “Oh wow,” that held more understanding than the first. “Nice, kid.” Han praised ruffling Ben’s hair. “I especially like how skinny I am.”_

_“No, that’s the tree,” Ben corrected._

_Han didn’t make any more comments after that and the teacher’s voice saved him with a redirection._

_“All my students, let’s get in our places for the program. Families, there are some chairs around the tables. And if some of you wouldn’t mind taking the floor.”_

_“Sing good, bubba!” Leia encouraged._

_“Say the thing, Mommy!” Ben whispered to her, his eyes lighting up._

_She jumped into his mind quickly to see what he meant. “Ah,” she began and in a pretend serious and playful tone she said. “May the Force be with you.”_

_He hopped back with a delighted grin as he ran to where his friends were gathering on the carpet._

_Leia found a chair on the side towards the back but with a clear view. She knew she would certainly be an object of attention and she didn’t want to distract from the kids. Han chose to sit on the floor in front of her with his one leg stretched out and his other knee bent. It wasn’t comfortable by any means, but it was made slightly more so when he was able to lean back against his wife’s legs._

_“Kid looks cute today,” Han said as he tilted his head to the side to talk to his wife._

_She grinned at her little boy in his blue pants with a stripe down the side and his long-sleeve cream shirt with an oversized vest on top. “He picked it out himself.”_

_“He’s got good taste.” Han grinned as he reached across himself to pat his wife’s hand that had found its way to his shoulder._

_“Our little boy is growing up,” she sighed with reluctant realization._

_“No he’s not,” Han insisted against all logic and science._

_“Look at him,” she said, pointing at Ben talking giddily with his friend Loki. “He’s not my little baby anymore.”_

_Han pressed his lips together as he watched his likeness interact. “We’re not sendin’ him off to battle yet, sweetheart.”_

_“Or ever…” she vowed. “We’re never sending him off to battle. We fought the battle for him.”_

_“I didn’t mean it like that,” he clarified. “I mean he’s not flyin’ the nest yet. He’s still young.”_

_She moved her hand to his cheek as she turned his head upwards to draw his eyes to her. “Promise me he’ll stay that way,” she requested against all logic and science._

_He chuckled at her as he tilted his hand into her palm. “Promise.”_

_As her hand left his cheek, she felt the discrete kiss he placed into her palm._

_They had eyes on them, Leia felt it. Even more than usual. There was a recent story running in one of the tabloids about her and her family life. The story hinted to rumors that divorce was in her future. That her husband was spending more time off-planet and she was becoming more involved in her government work. Apparently some of the parents in her son’s class had heard that rumor as they continued to stare._

_But as always, she would never let her public life interfere in her private one. So she gave Ben the biggest smile she could when he looked her way from his place in the line up of children._

_The program was quite entertaining. They started with a welcome song with some fun hand movements that had the kids completely engaged and the parents smiling and laughing along. Then Jeinger recited her welcome poem and only forgot the words once. The next song was the one she recognized from Ben singing at home. A song of peace and asking the galaxy to come together in harmony. That was definitely her favorite and she gave Ben an extra special thumbs-up as he finished with a grin._

_They sang some more songs about families and some children did a short skit. Both Han and Leia sat up straight at the teacher’s next announcement._

_“And now Ben Solo will read a poem called ‘There for You’.”_

_This was news to them. Leia watched as her smiley boy turned hesitant as he stepped to the front._

_Han’s eyes almost popped out of his socket as he saw Ben’s nervous arms reach for the hem of his shirt and unconsciously lift it while bringing his fingers to his mouth._

_“Leia…” he quickly whispered to her._

_“It’s okay,” she said. “He knows.”_

_Not a second later, Ben’s arms went down as they brushed his shirt down with it. That was the first time Han could remember Jedi mind tricks being useful._

_Slowly, the words started coming from his little mouth._

_“When you’s cried your lonely tears,_   
_Who’ll be’s there to fight your fears?_   
_And when it’s like no one would… un…derstand,_   
_Who’s there to hold your hand?”_

_The first part of the poem when so well. Leia could almost cry with the love she had for him in that moment._

_“There’s are some… you can't replace,_   
_They're the ones who gave’s you your face.”_

_Ben smiled again as he said face._

_“They's love you through thick and thin,_   
_They’s show you light from deep within.”_

_He hesitated and waited for the teacher to give him the first few words before continuing._

_“There's no one who’s can love you more_   
_Then your own parents, that's for sure.”_

_Another pause as he thought._

_“…Always remember this is true,_   
_Wherever you’s go, your parents will be there for you.”_

_He took a bow as he finished and his head popped up looking right at his Mommy and Daddy, their expressions were worth his surprise. The epitome of pride._

* * *

It felt like she hadn’t slept for the entire two days of training. They rose early, meeting behind the hanger and taking the time to practice her defense. They would part for breakfast, Rey eating with the rest of the recruits in the mess hall and Ben with his mother in her room. 

Ben found it best if he kept to himself as much as possible. He made people uncomfortable, as evident whenever he walked around the base in the open. His mother cleared his mobility with the other generals, but that didn’t mean she immediately made them comfortable with it. Leia Organa was a powerful woman, but she hadn’t resorted to mind control… yet.

After breakfast, Ben told her he was going to meditate in his room and she left him to it until their nightly dinner together. He did meditate a little, while Rey practiced hers again behind the hanger. Mid-day got hot, so they did less intense practices, lifting small objects, finding a balance, and maintaining a Force presence while distracted. 

It was a nice way to spend his day. Ben would admit only to himself that he was relishing in it. Rey was easy, easy to talk with, easy to be around, comfortable. And together, the Force told him they were something special. That had been the most surprising to him. How in sync he felt with her, how the Force seemed to pull them together, to be at peace when they reached to each other.

The evening of the second day, the final day, Rey took the time before dinner to continue her own physical training with the quarterstaff and Ben returned to his quarters to rest, declining his mother’s invitation to dinner.

He spent the evening working through the plan in his mind. He could snatch a two-seater Resistance ship to get them to Snoke. Rey would need to call on all the skills Ben had taught her. He again refortified the walls of his mind to keep Snoke out. This part was crucial to the plan.

When the late hour struck after the vast majority of the base was fast asleep, he opened the door to his room and snuck out.

As planned, he met her at their arranged location and they proceeded to is mother’s office without a word to each other. They stuck to the shadows as they passed through the central control where the night crew was keeping things monitored.

She went to the door. “It’s locked,” she whispered.

Ben shrugged his shoulders at her, staring like she should do something. Finally he stepped up and leveled his hand with the door only to see it open a moment later.

The Force… right. “Now it’s unlocked,” she declared as they stepped inside. 

They didn’t need any light. Ben knew where it was. He quickly stepped to the cabinet, opened the front door, and reached his hand in, calling the instrument to meet him halfway. And it did. 

He felt an electric shock pulse from his fingers all the way through to his toes as he held it. It felt like an immediate extension of his limb, comfortable being in the hands of Ben Solo.

“Got it?” Rey whispered from the door frame.

Ben quickly came to reality and moved back to the door, shutting it as quickly as he entered.

“You have the rest?” He asked as they walked side by side down a dimly lit hallway.

She nodded. By ‘the rest,’ he meant the pair of cuffs and the rest of Kylo Ren’s clothes that Rey had in a pack slung over her shoulder. They were ready.

“Ben…” A voice behind struck them dumb and still. “Rey…”

“Oh no,” Rey whispered with the fear of a teenager who had been caught sneaking out. “What do we do now?”

He sighed, hissing through his teeth. “Just act…” But then he saw her come around to their front. “Mom,” he straightened up.

She looked like she had been to bed as she donned her robe and nightly braid. “I couldn’t sleep and now I know why… What are you doing?” She asked with a voice that said she already knew the answer.

He took a breath and then held it in as he contemplated what to say. “We are…”

Apparently he took too long because Rey answered for him. “We’re going to confront Snoke.”

Leia’s gazed turned to worry as her initial fears manifested. “Both of you?”

Rey nodded at her, keeping her eyes firm and confident. “Ben’s been teaching me to channel the Force into my defense.”

“She’s good,” her partner commented. “She can help.”

“I have no doubt that she is,” Leia said turning her head to her son with frustration. Her arms crossed on her chest. “I assume you have a plan?”

He did and there was no use hiding it from her now. He tilted his head down for a moment before raising it and articulating. “I’m going back as Kylo Ren with Rey as my prisoner. I’ll tell them I escaped from the Resistance and took her as collateral.”

“And then?” Leia asked him to continue.

Why did she have to ask that? “And then we figure out the rest,” he stated quickly as if that would make a difference.

Keeping her eyes fixed on his, she let out an irritated sigh and shook her head. “You’re just like your father.”

He continued along her train of thought and gave her a smirk he knew was analogous to his father’s. “Well, he survived this long, hasn’t he?”

She didn’t seem to relent. “And that is a miracle in itself.” Her eyes caught the bag that Rey was trying to hide on her back. “I assume you have Anakin’s lightsaber?”

Ben didn’t answer, but Rey did. “We do.”

Of course they did. She pressed her lips together, her eyes darting between the two stubborn people in front of her. She made a decision, uncrossed her arms, and turned away. “Come with me.”

Ben stood firm, resolute in his decision. “You won’t convince me otherwise.”

She turned back to him. “I’m not trying to convince you otherwise. Come here.”

Rey was the first to comply and Ben reluctantly followed.

Leading them back through the darkened halls of the base, they wound their way to her quarters. She ushered them through her door, shut it behind them, and moved to her own small closet.

On her tip-toes, she reached towards the top shelf, searching for something. 

Ben saw her struggle and took a step forward. “Can I…”

She didn’t hear him as she grunted. “Ugh…” she gave up her fruitless reach and simply held out her hand to call another lightsaber into her grasp. 

Ben recognized it immediately. “You kept it.”

She nodded, turning to them with her own lightsaber in both her hands. “I saved it,” her voice was solemn, deadly serious in her next sentiments. “With the hope that someday a future Jedi would take it up.” 

“You never became a full Jedi?” This was news to Rey.

“It was a long time ago,” she dismissed before holding out the weapon. “Rey.”

She stepped up beside Ben, eyes on the woman before her.

“I want you to have it.” 

Leia’s gesture meant more to her than anything. She stepped again and took the saber in her hands as reverently as it was handed to her. Her eyes were fixed on the slim design and the piping around the top. She felt the older woman’s palm on her cheek and she raised her head. The smile she received back was truly the better gift and her arms immediately went out to procure an embrace. 

Leia reveled in the young girl’s arms, finding her own hand moving to the back of her head and her eyes closing. Rey needed this, but if she was being honest with herself, she needed it almost as much.

Opening her eyes, Leia pulled back. She once again looked at her son over Rey’s shoulder. “One more thing.”

She crossed in front of Rey as she moved to the right side of her makeshift double bed. “If I’m not mistaken…” she muttered as she reached under the top of the bed and triumphantly pulling out a cleverly concealed small blaster. “Your father always keeps one close by.”

Ben took the offered armament. “And you don’t?”

“Of course I do…” she quipped back. “On the left side of the bed.”

She let her eyes gaze up to take in the dark hair and pupils of the man in front of her. The man she feared of losing again. But this wasn’t a time to be selfish. 

“Go.” 

And with that, they had her permission. Ben nodded at her, his lips turning up into a grin.

“Be safe,” she said as Rey moved away with a relieved smile on her face.

Ben took another step in front of his mother, leaning down to reach for her small frame as he wrapped his arms around her. She gladly reciprocated, pulling him closer with her one arm around his shoulder and the other around his waist. With one last tight squeeze, she let go but didn’t let him get far as she reached out to cup his cheek and utter her final words of fortitude.

“May the Force be with you.”


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is an action packed chapter! Thanks so much for your notes as I have definitely incorporated many of your thoughts into this chapter!
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Ben, sweetie,” she called into the apartment. “Come here please.”_

_She scanned the living area and almost went crazy right then and there. How could one little person own so many toys and manage to make such a mess? It looked like a shrunken indoor hanger with the largest collection of spaceships she had ever seen. She heard Ben’s little feet running towards her._

_“What, Mommy?” He appeared before her._

_She crouched down to him with a serious and tense face that was matched in her voice. “I have a mission for you,” she declared taking both his hands in hers._

_“What?” Ben asked, looking at her curiously._

_Leia sat back on her heels and began. “General Solo. I beg you to accept this mission to make this home livable again.”_

_Ben smiled at her tone and demeanor._

_“There was once a floor in this living area and it is vital to the survival of my sanity that all this is cleaned up. You must see all the spaceships safely transported to the new base called Ben’s bedroom.”_

_She took his hands again and looked at him with pleading eyes. “This is our most desperate hour. Help me, General Solo. You're my only hope.”_

_Ben swung her arms in his as he giggled._

_Leia smiled back before standing. “Think you can handle it?”_

_Ben nodded and jumped into action._

_“Thank you, General Solo,” Leia gave a nod as she left him to complete his mission._

_Ben took a cursory look at the living area. He could still see some floor in between his space station setup with ships and creatures all over his pretend port. But he knew his Mommy would not go along with his argument. He had a mission to accomplish._

_He looked at one ship really strongly. It teetered on the floor for a moment before raising a few inches off the ground. Ben tried to keep it up, but it soon fell back to the ground. He was eternally frustrated at not being able to find control over these fun tricks that he could sometimes do. Apparently, today he would be flying his ships the old fashion way._

_Now that he had procrastinated enough, he began._

_“Tention everyone!” He announced to his troops. “We’s gotta leave and go to the other base.”_

_He nodded with authority at his crew and stepped carefully over to the side of the room with the most worn and well-loved ship._

_“Everybody follow the Falcon!”_

_Ben held it on the ground and started making engine sounds as the ship prepared to launch. The expert pilot lifted it off the ground and did a few twists as it moved to the hallway._

_“Light speed…” Ben said as the engine sounds got louder._

_As soon as the pilot activated the hyperdrive, Ben’s little legs took off running back into his room._

_“Out of light speed,” the pilot announced as the landing box was in sight._

_“Landing.” The ship landed with a thud into its toy box. “Mission ‘complished.”_

_Ben grinned at his successful mission._

_“The others are comin’,” Ben announced, running back to the living area and moving onto his next ship._

_And one by one, the spaceships made their way to the other base. Some of the ships carried his creatures, requiring the pilot to use two hands. Towards the end he got bored and stopped the engine sounds and the extensive takeoff and landing procedures. But all the toys made it safely, including the Ewok which was on the final transport._

_He ran to his Mommy’s office, finding her scanning a holopad._

_“Mission ‘complished,” Ben informed her proudly with his chest up and arms at his side._

_Leia put down her device to address her son. “All done! Let me see.”_

_He took her hand and led her to the living area where there was actually floor again._

_Leia was pleased. “Excellent work, General. You showed efficiency and effectiveness. You deserve a reward.”_

_Ben grinned and hopped up and down upon hearing that. “Reward!”_

_“Settle down,” Leia asked her little soldier. She stood straight before bending at her waist. Her fingers tilted his jaw so she could place a kiss on his cheek._

_Ben was less than pleased. “That’s not a reward.” He rubbed his cheek with his shirt sleeve._

_Leia narrowed her eyes playfully. “Funny, no one ever complained before about that specific reward.”_

_“Can I’s have ice ceam?” He asked hopefully._

_Leia checked the time. “Maybe later, sweetie. Right now, I have another mission for you.”_

_Ben was still giddy from his first, so he announced. “I can do it!”_

_“General Solo,” she began her address. “It is of utmost importance and vital to the survival of the Rebellion that you take a bath, right now.”_

_“Aw…” Ben complained, his face suddenly turning sour. He didn’t like the sound of this mission._

_“And then…” Leia was quick to continue and cut off his protest. “You can have some ice cream as a reward.”_

_Ben thought about it._

_“Will you accept this mission?” Leia asked with hope. This was a much easier way to get her little stubborn boy to do things compared to the alternatives, yelling and force._

_Ben thought some more before puffing out his chest and then running off to the ‘fresher. “Mission accepted.”_

* * *

“Well done, my good and faithful apprentice.”

It was working, Rey thought to herself as she appeared before the infamous Supreme Leader, the blood-red of the room glowing around, an ominous sign of power. His red guards melded into the background completing the sinister scene. 

Everything was going according to plan. The First Order shields were immediately lowered when Kylo Ren announced himself as the pilot of the rogue Resistance ship. And the dutiful admirals showed him the reverence of their leader as they welcomed him back. They took in Rey, Ren’s prisoner, with hands cuffed. Another sign of their leader’s successful operation.

And now came the unknown. They would have to figure it out themselves from here. 

She looked back at her partner, now playing the part of the formidable Kylo Ren with his black vest, belt, and gloves fortifying his image, grounding him in that character. He stared straight at Snoke, imposing energy in his eyes as he knelt before his former master.

“Young Rey. Welcome.”

The large frightful creature was like nothing she had ever seen, and she was from Jakku. The cracks in the figure’s bald skin, the hollow of his eyes and mouth, the neck that looked like the winding bark of a crooked tree. 

His red guards flanked him on all sides, each one more dangerous than the other.

Rationally, she knew he had powers beyond what either her or Ben had, yet she wasn’t afraid. Maybe it was foolish of her, but she saw her partner beside her, felt him pulsing through the force, and she was confident. Confident in them.

Her restraints snapped off as he beckoned her. “Come closer, child.” 

She didn’t move. 

“So much strength,” Snoke continued. “Has my apprentice found his equal in the light? And has he brought her here to… to what?” He questioned as if he already had made up his mind on the answer.

The saber that Ben held forcefully flew from his hands to Snoke.

He examined the instrument. “Skywalker… What a find.” 

He placed the saber on his armrest and again focused on Rey.

“Closer, I said.” 

She kept her toes digging into the floor as Snoke drew her closer and closer to his throne.

He didn’t stop her until she was directly in front of the creature. “In 5 minutes,” he hissed out with more breath than articulation. “You will be dead and Kylo Ren will return to my side."

Chills. That’s what she felt as the breath hit her and the words cemented themselves in her brain. 

“You underestimate him and me.” She kept her voice strong, emanating the power she felt. “It will be your downfall.” 

“Oh.... have you seen something?” Snoke addressed her with mockery. “A weakness in my apprentice?”

She met his mockery with complete assurance. “No, I have seen the strength in Ben Solo.”

“Ben Solo, you say…Ben Solo is dead.” He looked past Rey in order to address the man, his eyes lighting with blazes of fire. “My worthy apprentice, son of darkness, heir apparent to Lord Vader.” 

Ben lowered his head as he heard the titles calling to him, mocking him. 

“Stand,” the monster demanded. “Come closer.”

So the man complied, once again on his feet and striding towards the dais. He continued forward, not stopping until Snoke held out his hand. Ben saw Rey’s steeled figure beside him.

As Snoke’s hand went out, so too did his probing invasion. His fingers extended to reach through the man’s mind, scanning, wrecking, and turning over every piece of new information he could find. “Where there was conflict,” he said. “I now sense resolve.”

The dark hair shifted as Ben felt the intrusive tornado whirl through. “I know what I have to do,” the man uttered with determination.

“Very good,” Snoke complimented as he continued probing through the man’s conscious. “I can barely sense the knowledge you are trying to hide from me.”

Snoke’s eyes turned hard and cruel. 

“Not good enough, I’m afraid.”

If Ben could move his own limbs he would have. He would have struck him right there. Because from his words, Snoke knew more than Ben understood, than he originally thought.

Suddenly, Snoke stopped. His hand retreated. The circular eyes embedded in his skull squinted as he saw clearly who was standing in front of him. “Are you here to kill me?” 

There was no reaction from the man, but a successive blink from the woman.

Snoke settled back in his throne, confident in his assessment. “You underestimate my powers, my apprentice.”

Ben didn’t say or do anything, he waited.

“I’m sorry to have spoiled the plan,” the monster continued. 

Still nothing. Snoke chose to reveal his skills.

With the flick of his wrist, another lightsaber was in his hand that was previously concealed at the man’s back. He studied it with his eyes, but also with his powers. 

“The Princesses’ weapon,” he deduced. “She did well.”

He lit the saber, a glowing blue appeared. “The Solos were always too weak to be trusted.” He drew his menacing, belittling stare directly to the man. “I thought you were better.”

Closing the saber once again, he placed it beside him with its twin. He now focused on the two beings in front of him, laying out the rules of his game.

“One of you will have to die and the other will take their place beside me.”

Ben took a breath, contemplating his options.

“Slay me if you must.” Rey declared as she brought Snoke’s attention back to her. “But you will never extinguish the Light from Ben Solo.”

Snoke laughed at her fable. “Still that fiery spit of hope.”

Her confidence was deeply shaken when she felt her feet leave the floor, her body suspending in mid-air, flying towards the center of the room.

“You have the spirit of a true Jedi,” his hiss echoed through the room as a shocked moan escaped her lips. “And because of that, you must be the one to die. ”

His eyes flipped back to Ben just in time to catch the man’s eye movement towards the two sabers sitting against the arm.

Snoke’s free hand clutched the two items, securing them in place. 

“Don’t underestimate me,” he warned with a menacing threat. “I know all.”

Ben watched Snoke’s free hand clench and then his eyes were immediately drawn to the scream that came from high above. 

Ben Solo felt it like it was his own neck being strangled. He felt his breath wane as his strained eyes watched helplessly.

Snoke was completely aware of the reaction coming from his apprentice.

“You’re emotions deceive you,” Snoke unclenched his hand, but it had done the trick. The destruction Snoke had inflicted on Ben Solo was apparent in his protective stance, his compassionate eyes.

“She will die,” he declared, bringing his hand even higher as Rey’s body laid recumbent mid-air. “And with her death, Kylo Ren will rise again.”

“No!” Rey yelled as she heard Snoke’s words.

“Yes…” was the hissed reply coming right before what felt like electric shock coursing through her veins.

The next thing she knew, she was falling from the air and held in suspension just before landing smoothly on her back. 

Snoke realized his mistake too late. He was focused on the girl, on holding the Jedi weapons at bay. He didn’t see the concealed silver blaster pointed directly at his head. The sound of the beam was overshadowed by her screams as it shot with deadly precision and a promise to kill.

The monster bowled over, lifeless.

Rey looked up from her place on the ground to see Ben, a hand hovering near her, cushioning her fall. 

From the armrest, Ben called the sabers back to their rightful owners. It was to both of their surprise when Leia’s saber went straight for Ben’s hands and the Skywalker saber found Rey. They quickly recovered, feeling much more in control with a weapon in their hands. 

Rey stood, her body fatigued, but ready. They locked eyes, feeling their connection, their joint power. And then they turned, back to back, ready to fight as the red guard started closing in.

Their sabers wound for their first clash at the same time. She ducked as a second attack came her way and swiped again at the first guard, pushing him back. With another block on her right, she leaned to dodge and felt his back support her and then stand her back up as she became the aggressor, peeling off the second guard with a saber through the chest.

She had two of them on her now as she pushed towards the side of the room, keeping herself in tune with the Force to feel the guard’s every move towards her. She was creative with her maneuvering, finding her limberness as a virtue as she slipped under a guard’s arm and slashed through his waist. 

The third guard approached with a series of double blades. She went into defense mode, blocking each attack that came at her until she couldn’t anymore and he sliced her shoulder. She let out a groan at the pain and a groan through the Force.

Ben felt it, felt the stab to her arm as if it was his own. He watched the three guards circling him, holding still for a moment as he looked protectively over at Rey. She was handling herself, but tiring. His face took on a more determined grimace and a yell as he leaped back into action, holding off and destabilizing the aggressors surrounding him. 

He took care of one with the back-handed flip of his saber, the blue puncturing the red with absolute precision, throwing him to the side, and going back into attack mode. He dodged the second’s attack and managed to nick the other one with his boot and eventually his saber to the throat. He heard another mighty yell from Rey and his eyes and mind darted to her.

The slip in his concentration was marked by a firm slash up his back calf that forced him to the floor with a moan of pain. His own lightsaber now flung across the room as the guard went for his throat.

“Ben,” he heard Rey scream as her last man fell and her saber leaped for his hand. 

He ignited it, and it was finished. 

His body slumped back on the floor, the pain in his leg making itself known. Through the ache, he listened. The previously alive room was quiet, almost completely silent. He took a few struggling breaths as she appeared above him.

“Ben, are you okay?” The worry in her echoing voice was new to him, not something he had encountered in years.

“Yeah,” he tried to assure her, sitting himself up with some help from her at his back. “It’s nothing.”

She didn’t believe him, her voice raised a pitch. “Nothing? Your leg…”

“I’m fine,” he assured her with a great degree of stubbornness. But even he could see the slash in his pants that was marked with crimson. But he didn’t have time for this. “Come on.” He turned his body and, keeping his injured leg straight, managed to stand on his other leg.

She stood too. “You can’t walk.”

“Well then help me!” He raised the arm on his injured side and she slipped under it, taking some of his weight as his hand pressed on her shoulder.

While she wasn’t happy that he was making light of this wound, she knew they still had a mission to finish. “Where’s your lightsaber?” She asked before simply calling it to her hands and holding it in the same hand that met his on her shoulder.

They took a step together, weaving through the fallen bodies that were now covered in a darker red liquid. 

As they exited out of Snoke’s chambers they stumbled into the turbo lift and Ben pressed another floor. 

The doors opened to a clear hall. “Where is the control room?” She asked, carefully scanning before they actually stepped and hobbled out.

“Left,” he grimaced as he tried and failed to put more weight on his leg.

“Left…” she repeated.

“Right.”

She started turning them in the wrong direction. 

“No, I said left.” He tried to turn them the other way.

“No, you said right,” she countered with annoyance.

He huffed. “This way!” Finally on the same page, they walked the few paces to the secondary control room that was usually not heavily manned. 

The screens in front of them lit up with the controls and images of the interworking of the ship. She helped him to sit down in the first chair before she went to close the door, sealing them in for the moment. 

His mind immediately went to work on the console. “Are you okay?” He finally felt safe enough to ask her.

She nodded, making her way back to his side, her breath still coming in gasps, but finally starting to calm. “I earned a cut on my arm, but it’s not bad.”

Her eyes and attention now went to his leg. Taking the long white drape of her clothes, she ignited his saber to cut it off and then knelt down to his leg.

He felt her raise his pant leg. “What are you doing?” He was momentarily distracted from the console.

“Dressing your wound,” she replied as she wrapped the gash four and then five times before tying off the end. “It looks deep.”

His eyes flickered between her and the console, mind trying to process her attentions, her obvious caring for him. “Thank you,” he finally managed to say.

She stood back on her feet, oblivious to the conflicted revelations going through his head.

“I’m in,” he said as his full focus went to the screen lit in front of him. 

“So they’ll know you’ve logged into the control room?” She questioned.

He shook his head. “Of course not. I’m using General Hux’s codes. They override the entire system.” 

“Brilliant,” she complimented. “That will sew enough confusion within the ranks."

In a few more moments a red image appeared on the screen. “It’s all powered down. Transport ships are disabled,” he announced. “As are the shields, weapons charging station, Tie-fighters, and all heavy ammunition.”

“They won’t be able to defend themselves or abandon ship,” Rey confirmed with deep satisfaction.

A spark of genius flew through Rey’s head and she quickly got to work. She knelt under the panel near his feet and opened the small hatch she knew would be there. Reaching her arm in as far as it could go, her fingers felt around until they grasped what they were looking for. With a yank, she felt it loosen up and pulled it triumphantly out from under the panel.

“What’s that?” Her partner asked of the loose collection of junk she held so proudly.

“The piece that connects the main control panel to its activation functions. They won’t be able to undo it from the source even if they do manage to hack through your programming.”

He was impressed and it showed in his expression.

“I’ve had some experience tinkering in Star Destroyers.”

He nodded, turning his chair to fully face her. “The Resistance should have an easy time boarding the Supremacy and securing the rest of the First Order leadership.”

She parted her lips as satisfaction spread across her face. “Mission accomplished.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy this chapter! Thanks so much for your kind notes!

_She was pacing, her white snowsuit, boots, and vest moving from one side of the floor to the other. Worry creasing her brow._

_Finally, the door opened and a familiar sight met her. Han Solo stood almost shaking with his heavy parka covering his surely almost frozen body. He looked relieved to see her._

_“Han, you’re back,” she gasped as she moved towards him._

_“I am,” he said as he took a serious look at the crown of braids in her hair and the youthful look lighting up her face._

_“Luke?” She asked._

_He nodded solemnly, reassuring her. “Recovering in the med bay.”_

_She breathed out another sigh of relief before meeting his eyes again. “Thank goodness. I was so worried.”_

_He kept her gaze as he teased her. “Worried about me, were you?”_

_She scoffed, never taking her eyes from his. “Why would I be worried about you?”_

_“Because I’m irresistible,” he took a step closer to her, leaning down slightly so he wasn’t quite as tall._

_She let her hands come to stop his movement by holding his chest. “Well watch me resist you.” As she finished, she gave him a mighty shove back and turned._

_“Princess,” he stumbled forward and reach out a hand to her shoulder._

_She felt his fingers brush her cheek on their way down. She immediately turned back to him, her face laced with worry. “Your freezing.”_

_He flexed his fingers. “It was a little cold out there. Hoth is an ice planet, you know.”_

_She took his hand in hers and let her tips trace his digits. She locked eyes with him again as she gave her next order. “Come with me.”_

_He grinned and felt himself get warmer as she led them. “Where’re you taking me?”_

_She turned around to look at him again as she answered. “To your quarters. To get you into something more comfortable and warm you up.”_

_He liked the sound of that. In fact, other parts of his body liked the sound of that. “Almost sounds like an offer.” His eye gave her a wink._

_Her eyes turned from caring to hot as she dropped his hand and took a ferocious step back. “You half-witted moof milker!”_

_Her ire almost had him laughing._

_She flung her arms around as she continued her insult. “Just for that you can go right back outside and get frostbite for all I care.”_

_He crossed his arms and met her fury. “Oh, I see how it is. I’m only useful to you as your soldier, huh?”_

_The face she gave him made him think the answer was yes._

_“Well I got news for you, sweetheart.” He pointed a fierce finger at her. “I’m useful for more than just savin’ everybody’s asses around here!”_

_“Is that so?” She questioned._

_“It is, your worship!”_

_She took a step closer to him, offering a dare. “Then prove it, hotshot!”_

_He took the dare. He backed her into the wall as he proved it. His bold lips finding hers surprised and reluctant. He pulled back. “I’ll prove it to you,” he said with his lustful intentions obvious._

_“We’ll see about that.” Leia’s eyes turned dark as she stared at his lips. “Come with me,” she ordered once again as she led him by the waist through the inner door and sealed it tight._

_Their planet of Hoth looked strangely like their apartment on Chandrila and his quarters on Hoth looked strangely like their bedroom. And there was a child fast asleep down the hall. Other than that, they were each playing their parts very well._

_Letting him stand on his own, she gave him another order. “Take your coat off.”_

_He complied, taking the zipper down and letting it fall to a bulky heap on the floor._

_She stood back to watch him. “Now the shirt,”_

_He kept his eyes on her as he moved his fingers to the top button, quickly giving up. “I can’t, my fingers…”_

_She stepped forward. “I’ll help you.”_

_He watched as she first stood closer than necessary and pulled his shirt out of his pants. Her hands then started at the top and worked their way down, not being coy about how her touches brushed the revealed skin._

_“You’re warming up nicely,” she commented as she felt the heat emanating from his chest._

_“Still cold though…” He insisted._

_He helped her by lifting his arms over his head and leaning down as she pulled his shirt off. Standing back to his full height, she came as close to him as possible without touching him. Yet he could practically feel every curve of her chest and waist and he certainly felt the heat in her breath against his body._

_She brought her eyes back to his hazy ones. “I assume your fingers are too cold to undo your pants as well?”_

_He nodded. “Yeah, much too cold.”_

_It was no problem for her as she flicked open the fly and drew them down his legs, following them as she squatted to his feet._

_She didn’t have the patience to unlace his boots completely, so she did the minimum amount of work possible and then tugged them off while he held onto the wall for balance. With his shoes off, she was able to take his pants all the way off as well._

_He felt her hot breath cover his body from toe to lips as she stood back up in front of him._

_“Now how’re you gonna warm me up?” He asked her, pretending to shiver._

_“Well, I do know one way…” Her eyes trailed off as she thought._

_“How?” He asked with bated breath._

_“Body heat.”_

_“Hum, that’ll do the trick.”_

_She let her dark eyes and sly grin talk for her as she nodded to the bed._

_He, again, complied with her order and laid down on his back in the center._

_He watched his white-clothed lover start at the end of the bed and climb up over him until she laid on top of him in a star pattern, covering him as completely as her small frame could._

_“Better?”_

_“Much,” he said as he held her hands in his. “I think one more thing would help?”_

_She propped her chin on his chest. “What’s that?”_

_“A kiss.”_

_He said it so innocently, she almost broke. Instead, she slid her body up against his the extra two inches that brought her lips to hover over his. “Honey, you could use a good kiss.”_

_She covered his smirk with her lips as they immediately devoured. He moved his arms to wrap around the back of her head, holding it flush against his. Her feet kicked out to straddle him and he almost died when he realized she still had her snowsuit on._

_He went to make that right starting with the vest which got caught on her arms as he tried to lift it over her head. “Kriff…” he exhaled as it finally flew behind her._

_Holding the front of he snowsuit, he flipped them to give him better movement as he trailed the zipper down._

_“You’d think after all this time I would’ve… figured out an easy way to get you out of this.”_

_Her arms struggled to get out of their confinement. “It’s built to teach patience, love.”_

_When they were finally out and the suit shrugged halfway down her body, he moved to her boots, flinging them off as quickly as he could before finally pulling the rest of the snowsuit off._

_He reveled in his labored success for a moment before climbing back on top of his wife and placing a loving kiss onto her lips._

_She held him close even as he broke off to gaze at her. “You know, I fell in love with you on Hoth,”_

_He brushed his nose against hers. “I do know, but tell me more.”_

_“There’s something about the adrenaline, the chance that we might get captured at any moment.”_

_She tilted her head and raised it to meet the corner of his mouth._

_“And it was you, how protective you were, how we put our lives in each other’s hands, and you made me laugh, made me feel again.”_

_He felt a chuckle escape his lips as his elbows propped himself up so his fingers could move through her braids and take out the pins. “You had a funny way of showing it for a while.”_

_“So did you,” she challenged._

_He moved his fingers from her hairline to her face, tracing the lines on her face. “You made me look forward to the future. I was never the kind of person to think ahead, but I wanted to if you would be there.”_

_“Well,” she took his wandering hands in hers. “Here we are.”_

_“Yeah.” He gently lowered his lips back to hers. “Still reliving the moments where we fell in love."_

* * *

Rey held the saber to their front as she blocked the few shots that came their way from the patrolling stormtrooper. On her other side, Ben held his blaster high and took care of the obstacles. Each used the one free hand they had to the highest potential. Their other hands were still wrapped around her shoulders and his waist as Ben limped along the corridors. 

“Almost there,” Ben announced with gritted teeth as the opening for the Upsilon-class escape vehicle was in sight. 

She palmed open the door with the codes he gave her and then helped him step into the more spacious ship. There was plenty of room in the back to walk around and plenty of seating.

Ben held onto the back of the pilot’s chair in the front, using it to support him as he moved to sit. “I’ll get us out of here…”

He was brought up short by her hand shoving his chest back. “You stubborn nerf-herder!” She sat in the pilot’s seat and handed him the earphone system while flicking all the switches to turn the machine on. “You’re injured. I’ll fly us out of here.”

His eyebrows came together as he took another step to stand over her. “It’s not what you’re used to…”

She continued to check out all the systems as she interrupted. “If I can pilot the Millennium Falcon, I can pilot anything.”

He was out argued on this one, so he took the headphones from her and sat in the secondary seat, his leg stretched out in front of him. “This is Kylo Ren, leaving to rendezvous with a contact. Clear the air,” Kylo demanded.

Rey helped the ship hum to life beneath them. 

Ben spoke to her as he received some confirmation in his ear. “Transmit my codes.”

“I know…” she said with her eyes wide. She stilled a moment and turned to him.

Finally he heard the confirmation they needed. “We’re clear.”

He watched as Rey lifted the ship out of its docking station and smoothly guided it to the opening. They went through without a problem, now back out among the stars.

As soon as they were out, she set their course charging as immediately as possible into hyperdrive as they hurled through space. 

“Oh my…” Rey finally let out a breath as she sunk back into her chair, finally able to feel air back in her lungs.

Beside her, Ben took his own steadying breaths. His eyes spoke of both pain and relief as he kept them focused forward at the lights that shot past them. With the adrenaline wearing off, he was left with the collision course his life had become.

She could feel his intense thought process. She broke through the steady hum of the ship. “Talk to me,” she asked.

He was reluctant but did anyway. “I knew I would feel pain… if I let go of Kylo Ren.”

She was beginning to catch on, realizing he was not talking about physical pain. She took a pause while she looked towards the console. “Ben Solo feels guilty for the sins of Kylo Ren.”

“Yes… he does.” Ben’s head shook as his eyes opened on the flashes of light passing them by. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”

Rey was quick to respond. “The acknowledgment and the fact that you did choose to become Ben Solo, despite the pain you knew you would feel, shows what a strong person you are.”

While he didn’t feel atoned, he felt he was moving in that direction. “This was a step in my reckoning.”

That was enough for now. Her eyes were again drawn to his outstretched limb. “Now may I please take a closer look at your leg?” She asked, or more ordered, as she stood with her hands at her hips.”

Looking up at her, he gave her demanding posture a smirk as he nodded and turned his chair to face the back of the ship. “It’s fine, really.”

She walked to a few cabinets in the back, searching through for something to help her. “It won’t be for long if it’s not treated.”

She found what she was looking for and made her way back to the front, turning the chair behind him around so he could prop his foot up on it.

Using both his hands he lifted his leg onto the back chair, his heel on the seat and his knee bent in the air. The wound was on his back calf, so she would have to kneel under him to see it properly.

And that is just what she did, rolling his shredded pant leg up and over his knee. She untied the temporary dressing that was now blood-soaked and put it aside.

“It’s deep,” she confirmed her earlier statement. “This will sting.” She took out the cleaning swab she found and pressed it lightly over the cut.

It did sting, but he wasn’t going to let her know how it affected him. So he kept his lips pressed together as she wiped it down.

She unwrapped and pressed on a large bacta patch that covered the entire cut.

Ben could feel the liquid from the patch already start to seep into the wound and do its job. 

She seemed satisfied with her treatment because she stood with a successful tilt of her lips and a nod. “That should do until we get a proper medic to look it over.”

Yes, that was more than sufficient and she was more than thorough. He finally noticed her own arm with the dried blood crusting over. “You need some… too,” he said quietly, pointing to her shoulder.

She turned to the forgotten cut and realized he was right. Moving back to the cabinet, she grabbed another swab and patch, quickly taking the swab over the area.

“Let me.”

She froze, her eyes raising to him and his curious face. 

His eyes were dark and direct like they always were. She saw his dark eyes as a cloak, a physical misrepresentation of the emotions he was emitting. There was so much there, underneath the protective armor he was still shedding. But she saw it. She saw empathy, in the way his brow arched and his lips parted.

She felt her head nod at his offer. It took a moment for her feet to also comply, walk to the front of the ship, and sit herself down in the turned pilot’s seat beside him so that her arm was facing him.

He picked up the gauze from her hand. With one hand steadying her arm at her elbow, he used the other to gently tend. She didn’t even feel the sting.

When he was satisfied with the cleanliness, he took the bacta patch from her hand and replaced it with the bloodied gauze. His large fingers managed to remove the wrapping and then press the patch onto her skin, rubbing over a few times so that it would stay. 

“There.” He found himself almost whispering after removing his fingers. 

He finally moved his gaze from her arm to the profile of her curious face. Lips pressed tightly together, though the rest of her body seemed relaxed. Her light eyes seemed to grow darker as she kept her intended stare at the back of the ship. 

Her lips moved again to utter, “Thank you.”

He sat back, feeling like he needed some space, but how much space could one get in this small ship.

Rey turned her chair around to face the front and took note of their position.

“We’re on course to arrive in a few hours,” she announced as if he already didn’t know.

Ben brought his chin down to his chest. “Your friends will be glad to find out I didn’t actually kidnap you.” He had quickly learned how attached this Finn had become to Rey and he was sure this Finn would have no warm feelings towards Ben taking his friend on the most dangerous mission of their lifetimes.

Rey let out a chuckle at that. “I’m sure he will. Your mother and father will be happy to see you,” she offered.

Yes, they would. “They’ll be happy to see you, too,” he said.

She guessed he was right. She turned the conversation. “What’s it like to have famous parents?”

He was surprised by the question but was ready to change the subject. “It felt like my normal growing up. They probably did a lot of work to keep it that way. I don’t think I realized who they were until I was about 8 or 9. They were just Mom and Dad.”

It thrilled and saddened her at hearing those two words. “You were very lucky.”

He nodded in absolute agreement before shaking his head slowly. “And I squandered it all.”

Keeping her chair facing forward, she turned her determined face towards him “And you made it right again.”

Ben didn’t believe her, continuing to look down. “That’s not how many will see it.”

She pressed him. “You’re Ben Solo. Your family, your blood is legendary. Don’t think that won’t be taken into consideration.”

He didn't budge.

“Not to mention the accolades you’ll receive when the word gets out that you, the legendary Ben Solo, defeated the Supreme Leader…”

“And you,” he amended.

“What?” She asked, not seeing where she fit into this.

“And you.” He finally raised his dismal eyes, now changing to meet hers with more conviction. “You’re just as much a part of this as I am.”

“No,” she shook her head, truly not believing it. “I’m not Ben Solo.”

“You are Rey…” He spoke firmly before being cut off.

“I am nothing.”

She said it with such conviction he almost believed her. He uttered his own truth to counter her narrative. “Not to me.”

His words came out breathier than he expected them to. And he realized that his hand had moved to rest on hers against the armrest. He flinched, recognizing the move and pulled back. 

His hand didn’t get far. Her eyes concentrated on the appendage, calling on the Force to help her bring it back and land in her now open palm. 

He let it happen. He was suddenly glad it happened, relieved to feel the calloused fingers gently wrap around. His thumb felt more than comfortable to run up and down her digits. 

A beep from the console snapped both their heads to the front. She moved her hand from his to click off the monitor. “We’re 2 parsecs out from the First Order fleet.”

He nodded, leaning back in his seat, letting the moment wash over him.

Rey looked at him, back to business, and questioned. “Should I try and contact the Resistance base?”

“No need. She already knows.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really like this flashback and hope you do too!
> 
> Enjoy!

_Ben had never seen his father looking so frantic. His mother noticed. Ben heard her ask his father why he was acting so weird before she went to meet and pick up Luke from his transport. He heard her say that she and his Uncle Luke were planning to go out for a drink and have some time to catch up before they came back home where Uncle Luke was staying with them._

_Ben had also never seen their apartment so full of people. He had done so well at keeping the secret. He was feeling so proud of himself! He almost slipped up last night as she was putting him to bed, but his Daddy stepped in and ushered her out of the room before she could ask him what he meant by party._

_His Daddy had jumped into, what he called, ‘why don’t we have a cleaning droid’ mode as soon as his Mommy left the house. Ben helped by picking up his toys and taking a duster on the table. He also carried the plates and cups to the table. BX and Chewie were in charge of the food. Ben watched as the Wookie laid out all the delicious goodies on the table, all his Mommy’s favorites._

_After all the necessary preparations were made, they used the rest of the time to quickly, as his Daddy called it, ‘throw some decorations around and call it a birthday party.’ Ben liked the purple balloons and placed them at as many different locations as he could find. He kept two special balloons, a purple one and a green one, to give the birthday girl and boy._

_They were still decorating when the guests began to arrive. That was when his Daddy got even more jumpy. Ben was feeling a bit overwhelmed as the somewhat familiar faces piled into his home. He stuck close to Chewie and held his Ewok toy in his elbow as his Daddy greeted even more guests._

_Now, Ben was in charge of watching down from the balcony to scout for his Mommy’s speeder. He was supposed to alert his Daddy when he saw it. He had one false alarm, but he got it right on the second time._

_“They’re comin’ up,” his Daddy announced from just beside the entrance as the group hushed and the lights went dark. He felt his Daddy crouch down beside him and wrap his arm around his shoulders. “Remember to yell out surprise when you see them.”_

_Ben was ready. He had been waiting for this for days._

_The door opened and the two figures took a step inside. Suddenly, the lights flickered on and he saw his Mommy’s eyes widen and her mouth open with a just as shocked Uncle Luke beside her._

_Ben was about to say the word nice and loud, but everyone else beat him to it as a loud roar of ‘Surprise’ came from the gathered crowd._

_His lip pouted. He didn’t like it, didn’t like the noise or the people or the whoops that came after the surprise. It was too much for his little body to handle._

_Leia was truly shocked. She prided herself on her perception, but she had no clue this was in the works. Perhaps she had been so focused on Luke’s visit for their birthday… She scanned the crowd as they let out some claps and shouts. Wedge was there, and Norra Wexley, Evvan, and General Rieekan, Chewie, a few people she recognized as Luke’s pilot friends. And there was Han, undoubtedly the mastermind behind all of this, his face beaming and eyebrows twitching at her in a way that said, ‘gotcha.’_

_And there was Ben beside him. Her face fell immediately when she noticed her son’s eyes did not match the aura of the room. When his little lip pouted, she saw what was coming._

_“Ben, sweetie,” she called to her frightened little boy as she bent down and reached out an arm._

_He took a few rocky steps to her as his eyes reddened and nose dripped. She held him closer to the ground level before the first audible sob emerged. That caused the crowd to let out their own audible ‘awe.’_

_“It’s okay, sweetie,” Leia stood with him still in her arms. She gave her guests a small smile as she bounced and twisted. “It’s okay.”_

_Han looked devastated from his spot beside her. He did a good job with the party, but apparently not a good job prepping their boy for the atmosphere._

_She let her son get out a few wails before pulling his head back and addressing him. “Did you and Daddy do this, a surprise for me and Uncle Luke?”_

_Ben nodded his head as he focused only on her and not on everyone else._

_“And did you decorate too?” She asked now looking at the few streamers and balloons around._

_Ben nodded again and remembered his special balloons. He wiggled down from his mother’s arms and wiped at his eyes as he got the special balloons that he dropped beside his father._

_He picked them both up again, a struggle when you only had two little arms and an Ewok in one of them. He proudly presented his Mommy with her purple balloon._

_“For me?” Leia acted like it was made of diamonds. “Thank you bubba.”_

_Ben turned to his elusive Uncle for the first time and handed him the green balloon._

_“Thanks, Ben,” he said with almost just as much enthusiasm. “It’s good you see you! You’ve grown since I was last here.”_

_Ben tucked his chin and grinned, evidence of his tears all but gone._

_His Uncle Luke had not grown or changed much from how Ben remembered. Ben was just turning 3 when his Uncle last visited. He still had that fuzzy beard Ben thought felt funny and he still wore a white robe which Ben thought looked funny. And then there was the lightsaber attached at his waist. Uncle Luke let him hold it once. It was heavy._

_Ben turned back around and saw that his Mommy had gone to greet the other people, but his Daddy was still nearby._

_As he turned, he felt his Uncle’s hand on the back of his head and then he felt it penetrate, into his mind. It was like his Mommy did when he had a bad dream, but Uncle Luke found a way to put him immediately at ease and much less afraid. The people in the room were only friends and the noise was happy noise. He didn’t need to be scared._

_Han was watching his boy closely ever since Ben surprised him with that overwhelmed scene. He felt terrible. This was supposed to go well for Leia, and Han should have noticed Ben’s feelings sooner._

_The fact that he was watching Ben carefully allowed him to see the motions of his brother-in-law and his son’s reaction. Ben was fine. But Han wasn’t._

_“Luke,” Han grunted his first greeting to his brother-in-law in anger._

_The other man seemed surprised at Han’s perception. “What?” He defended. “I didn’t do anything Leia doesn’t already do. See, he’s calmer.”_

_Han still didn’t like it, but he wanted everyone to enjoy the party so he stepped forward to draw the man into a hug. “Good to see you, kid.”_

_Luke chuckled at his nickname that never seemed to die no matter how long his beard got._

_“Go enjoy your party,” Han encouraged, nodding his head at the cacophony of guests that were waiting to greet him._

_Luke grinned and then turned back to Ben. “You wanna come with your Uncle Luke?”_

_Ben nodded up at him vigorously, excited to spend some time with the man he had heard so much about but rarely saw. He reached his hand up to take the Jedi’s._

_It was going well. There was plenty of food, the guests seemed to be enjoying themselves, Leia was laughing her genuine laugh. Later into the night, Han stood back and took a moment to pat himself and his partner on the back. “We did good, Chewie,” he said as he leaned against the sidewall. “She was really surprised and they both seem to be havin’ a good time.”_

_Chewie growled in affirmation._

_Han’s eyes narrowed as they fell back on Ben. He had barely left his Uncle’s side all night. Leia practically dragged him away to get some food into his belly, but other than that Ben was Luke’s shadow. They were now sitting on the sofa, Ben leaning back and seemingly enthralled by the story Luke was telling a few others._

_[Don’t be jealous.]_

_Damn it. Chewie was too attuned to him for his own good. “I ain’t jealous,” he tried to convince Chewie and himself._

_[Yes, you are,] the Wookie insisted. [But let’s not talk about it now. The Princess is coming.]_

_As soon as he heard Chewie’s words, he felt a hand tug his jaw down and to the side. He happily accepted the kiss he found there._

_“It’s Ben’s bedtime,” she informed him._

_The already late hour surprised him. “I’ll take this one. You enjoy your party.” He gave her another quick kiss before moving to the couch and reclaiming his son._

_“Ben, buddy,” Han said as he stepped around the structure. “Bedtime.”_

_He expected the reluctance, so he took steps beforehand._

_As soon as Ben offered the slightest protest, he reminded him, “Remember what I said we would do tomorrow if you went right to bed?”_

_Ben certainly remembered which is why he jumped up on the sofa and reached for his father’s help in getting down._

_“Say goodnight to your Uncle Luke,” Han happily reminded him._

_“Can Uncle Luke tell me a bedtime story?” Ben asked his father with joyful hope._

_Han was reluctant. “Not tonight kid. It’s his birthday party…”_

_“I don’t mind,” Luke interrupted with a smile. “I’ll sneak out for a bedtime story with my favorite nephew.”_

_“He’s your only nephew,” Han reminded him before submitting, although reluctantly. “Alright kid. Let’s get you jam-jams on and then Uncle Luke will tell you a story.”_

_That kicked the little boy into high gear. Han didn’t remember the last time Ben dressed and brushed his teeth so quickly. When he was tucked into bed with his Ewok, Han stepped back into the hall to find Luke walking towards him._

_“The kid’s ready,” Han announced stepping to the side as Luke walked into Ben’s room, cracking the door behind him._

_Luke took in the tiny figure in the bed. So much energy in him, physical and spiritual._

_“Okay Ben,” Luke took a seat on the edge of the bed, meeting the little face peeking from the covers. “What story do you want to hear?”_

_Ben thought for a moment before announcing his choice. “The one about the pilot flying to the Kessel.”_

_Luke had to laugh at that. “Well, I’m sure your father tells that story better than I ever could.” Luke offered another option. “How about a story about the brave Jedi and the droid army.”_

_Ben nodded and Luke told the story with a flourish and a passion that had Ben hanging on his every word._

_Ben thought about the story for a moment. “You’s a Jedi, Uncle Luke?”_

_Luke nodded. “Yes, I am.”_

_“Did you’s fight a droid army?”_

_“Well, no,” Luke answered. “But there are lots of important jobs for Jedi like me to do today.”_

_“Like what?”_

_“We bring peace to the galaxy,” he stated his deepest held beliefs._

_Ben thought for a moment. “Like Mommy does at her office?”_

_Luke shook his head. “It’s different than that.” He tried to think of a way to talk about this. “The Jedi use the Force for their work. The same powers that you have inside you.” Luke tapped his nephew’s head before stating what he wanted to say, what he wanted the young boy to know. “You could be a Jedi someday.”_

_Ben thought for a moment. “No,” he said, and then let out a humungous yawn. “I’s gonna be a pilot.”_

_A smirk formed in the opening crack of the bedroom door. Yup, that was his kid alright._

* * *

This was the second time in the last few hours she sensed her family.

“The Millennium Falcon is close,” she announced to the team and then to herself, she muttered, “Leave it to Han to choose the worst possible timing.”

She paced the headquarters from one holo to another, monitoring the progression of troops.

As soon as she felt Ben’s message through the Force, she ordered the Resistance into action, manning the ships and sending all fighters out. They quickly pulled out a documented plan for occupation and modified it to work under these circumstances. Their mission, occupy the now powered down Supremacy, Snoke’s own Mega-class Star Dreadnought.

The crew back at the base were on hold for another hour or so until the first of their deployed troops arrived at their destination to begin the occupation. 

“Is Luke Skywalker with him?” Someone asked her with hope.

She turned and shook her head. “I don’t know. I can’t feel Luke, but Han is definitely near.”

Sure enough, a few moments later another of her monitors called out to her. “General, the Millennium Falcon is requesting landing instructions.”

“Give clearance for the nearest landing pad.” Almost all their fighter ships were gone, so they had quite a selection of landing pads to choose from. 

“Hold things down for me.” She mentioned to her crew as she exited the headquarters and walked outside to see the glorious return of that hunk of junk. It took her back to times gone by, watching as the Falcon passed over her head, her heart soaring with it. And the times she would welcome Luke, visiting her and her family on Chandrila. Oh, but how times had changed. 

The ship landed smoothly on the ground in front of her, the engine roar sizzling out as she settled. And then the ramp lowered, the familiar boots showing themselves.

He strolled casually down the ramp. When his face became visible, it wore his signature smirk with a special glint he saved just for her. She took a few steps towards him, stopping at the bottom of the ramp with her eyes and lips turned up. 

His forward pace brought him to her. He stopped for a moment, breathed in the fresh air around him and her presence. Leaning down, he captured her lips. “Hey, sweetheart.”

She gladly reciprocated, her hands pressing at his waist and diving in for another. “Is Luke with you?”

Well, that killed the moment. He exhaled and pulled back. “I’m great, how are you?”

She didn’t let him go far, instead, she rubbed her hand over his upper arms to try and soothe his ruffled feathers.

Han let his eyes roll back to the ramp. “He’s here.”

Leia felt her stomach jump with anticipation, joy, and worry. She looked past him to the empty ramp.

Han explained. “He didn’t want to cause a crowd when the legendary Luke Skywalker returns.” Han looked around to see that the paraded welcoming they expected was not happening. “I see you really brought out all the stops for us…”

She kept her eyes on the ramp, the path to her twin, as she answered. “They’re heading to Snoke’s ship.”

His eyebrows drew together as he took a step back. “Kriff, what did I miss?”

He deserved an explanation before she diverted all her attention to her brother. Turning back to him she felt her eyes open wider as she relived the awesome feeling she had when she first felt what they had done. “It was Ben and Rey.”

“What’d they do?” He asked with more breath in his voice.

“Ben got them in…” She was still processing, but she was crystal clear in her next point. “He killed Snoke.”

“Our Ben?” Han asked as the corner of his mouth twisted with surprise.

She full-on smiled. “The same one!”

He took the time to process as she continued.

“They disabled the shields and cannons before leaving, preparing the Supremacy to be easily boarded and occupied. They’re on their way back now and the Resistance is set to arrive ship side in about one hour.”

Han listened. “You mean you don’t need Luke after all? And I just spent all this time alone with my brother-in-law for no reason?”

She rolled her eyes at his lament. “How is he?”

Han turned serious, his head positioned low. “He’s… feeling more guilty than I expected.”

That was exactly what she expected from Luke.

“Only reason I got him to come is because I convinced him you really wanted to see him.”

“I do,” she answered solemnly.

He knew she did. With a tug on her hand, he motioned her forward. “Come on then.”

She followed him up, into his ship.

“He’ll be happy to see someone who isn’t me or Chewie.”

Speaking of Chewie, the copilot appeared at the top of the ramp and gave Leia a welcome greeting. 

[Don’t worry, Princess. They were civil.]

She gave him a quick hug. “I’ve no doubt you’re to be thanked for that miracle.”

Chewie didn’t disagree as he let them pass.

The bright lights from the ship immediately illuminated the man who sat slumped over along the booth. His once youthful cream robes now appeared long and heavy with the weight of living, of tribulation. His head was down, but she had a clear view of the full gray locks that fell down from his hair and face. He was there. Physically he was there, she could see him. But she still couldn’t feel him. She hadn’t been able to for years.

“Luke,” she felt the air leave her mouth.

He raised his head, then stood. 

Now she could see his eyes, she swore they changed. No longer the bright bold blue, but instead a mix between the color gray and pain. 

She stepped closer, her head tilting with concern and her eyes transmitting compassion and strength. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Wish I could say the same,” he finally spoke, his voice the same timbre she remembered.

She quirked her lip. “Your hair changed.”

“So has yours,” he commented back as his posture seemed to relax slightly. He swallowed, bringing his chin closer to his chest and raising his tired eyes. “I’m sorry, Leia.”

“I know you are,” she felt her voice whispering back. “I don’t blame you.” 

Luke heard the words but didn’t internalize them. “He does,” he nodded towards Han who stood behind Leia.

Han raised his hands and widened his eyes. “Not as much as I used to, okay.”

Luke shook his head at his old friend and brother-in-law. “He’s growing up.”

Leia concurred. “We all are.” She bit her lower lip. “And all three of us hold responsibility and regret.”

Luke brought his eyes back to his sister, his twin. The person he cared about most in the entire galaxy and the person he had utterly and completely failed. “I don’t know what I can do for you, Leia.” He couldn’t be what she was asking of him. 

She took another step forward. She was close now. Close enough to reach out and take his hand, his left hand, the one that could still feel. “You’re my brother,” she reminded, looking up at him over her eyelids. “Just being here… it’s enough.”

His eyes squinted as his head bowed. “You’re the strongest of all of us.” His other hand went to cover theirs. “You never gave up.”

“I played my part when it was needed, formed the Resistance, kept the spark of hope alive in the galaxy.” She nodded over her shoulder. “Then Han did the next step, brought back Ben.”

Luke’s eyes widened as he heard the next part of the story.

She took a steady breath before proceeding. “And because of that, Ben Solo killed the Supreme Leader and destroyed any chance of the First Order’s retaliation.”

“Ben…” Luke could hardly believe it. “Ben did that?”

Leia nodded. “Ben and one of our recent recruits, Rey.”

Luke’s eyes lightened as he finally let himself believe what Han had been saying the whole time. “So he’s really back.”

“Yes,” she nodded in subdued but jubilant consent. “He is. Piloting his way home right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always saw Leia addressing Luke similar to TLJ. Enough time has gone by, she never blamed Luke like Han did, and she just wanted her brother back.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thanks so much for your kind words! I so appreciate hearing what you have to say and what you are excited to see happen.
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Can we do this more often?” Leia asked as they rode in the backseat of the transport, heading towards their Chandrila apartment late at night after a long day of traveling._

_He nuzzled her head that was leaning on his shoulder. “What, have our anniversary more often?”_

_“No,” she chided. “You know what I mean.”_

_He let his hand that was wrapped around her shoulders trail slowly down her arm. “Oh,” he said as if it just hit him. “You mean find a cozy little retreat and lock the door for a whole week.”_

_She wouldn’t have put it that way, but… he wasn’t wrong. “More or less.”_

_He groaned with immense satisfaction at the thought of taking more vacations with her._

_“We did a lot of other fun stuff too,” she insisted. “We had some nice walks down the river and spent time shopping…”_

_He let his head move down further, leaning his forehead against hers. “And after that…”_

_She sighed, a lazy grin appearing. “Let’s do this more often.”_

_“Okay, sweetheart,” he happily agreed, right as they pulled up in front of their building._

_“How was he?” That was the first thing whispered out of her mouth as she walked into their apartment, dropped her case, and saw her brother appear from around the corner. She had already talked with Luke and Chewie throughout the week and received positive updates, but it wasn’t the same as being there._

_“He was good as gold,” Luke assured with a proud nod._

_“Nightmares?” She questioned._

_He shook his head. “Only the one I already talked to you about.” He took another step towards her and held her arms in his. “You know, I can teach him to…”_

_She cut him off with a finger to his chest. “Don’t get into that right now. Han doesn’t need that.”_

_“Alright, I’ll drop it for now,” Luke was true to his words and brought her in for a hug._

_“Hey, Luke,” Han greeted as he came in with the rest of their cases. “How’s the kid?”_

_“He tried to stay awake for you,” Luke moved away from Leia._

_Han put the cases right in the entrance and straightened up. “I’m glad he didn’t. It’s late for him.”_

_Luke just shook his head at his one time scruffy, nomadic friend. “When did you become such a responsible father?” Luke teased._

_“Hey!” Han smirked back at him and pointed a finger. “I’ve always been responsible. I’ve saved your reckless ass more than a few times over the years, kid.”_

_Luke couldn’t argue with that. “So how was your trip?”_

_Leia sighed thinking about the past week of glorious peace. “Wonderful,” she cooed._

_“What did you do for the whole week?” Then he thought better about his question. “Or don’t I want to know?”_

_Han answered with the negative. “You don’t want to know.”_

_Of course, Han would take that opening Luke gave him, but he felt his cheeks redden when Leia didn’t immediately counter or reprimand him._

_“That’s it, I’m going to bed.” Luke waved them off as he made his way towards his guest quarters. “I’ll see you both in the morning.”_

_“Goodnight Luke. And thank you,” Leia called after him._

_“Night, kid.”_

_Both tired parents peeked in on their very missed, sleeping child before heading to their own bedroom. They left their cases to be opened and sorted another time and found themselves desperate for sleep as they crawled into bed._

_It was a few hours later when something stepped onto Han’s chest and startled him awake._

_“Ben…” He blinked his eyes open to the boy who just climbed over him to reach the middle of their bed._

_“Hi, Daddy!” The kid was way too awake and enthusiastic for it being the middle of the night._

_“Hey, kid,” Han said, his voice an octave lower with sleep. Han turned over to his side facing Ben and held an arm out for a hug. “We missed you, buddy.”_

_“I’s missed you,” the little boy said falling into the sideways hug as his body fell over his father’s._

_“You like spendin’ time with Uncle Luke?” Both Han and Leia had been reluctant to leave Ben, but both knew Luke was the best person for the job. With Luke’s skills to calm the nightmares and with Chewie taking over for him when needed, it all seemed to go well._

_Ben nodded. “We had ice ceam every night!”_

_If that was all it took for Ben to have a successful week, Han was okay with that._

_“What’s that chatter coming from the other side of the bed?” A groggy Leia asked, rolling over._

_“Mommy!” Ben launched himself to her own chest._

_She sucked in a breath as he landed on her and then wrapped her arms around her baby. “Oh, sweetie. I missed you so much.”_

_“I fells asleep,” he muttered as the excuse for not being there when they arrived home._

_“I know, bubba.” She rolled towards the center of the bed so his body laid down beside her. Her loving, generous eyes met his with their own caress as she ran her fingers through his hair. “And now you should go back to sleep. It’s still too early.”_

_“I’ll try,” Ben promised as he curled up again, now ready to fall back to sleep in his parent’s bed. His hand went immediately for her braid and pulled it forward over her shoulder._

_Leia winced as the tug reached her scalp._

_Ben suddenly remembered something. “I’s gotta get my Ewok first,” he kneed Leia in the stomach as he climbed over her to get down from the bed and pattered out of the room._

_“Ow…” Leia let out a belated groan._

_She heard a laugh from the other side of the bed. “Welcome home."_

* * *

“General,” she heard her title from down the hallway. “There’s a First Order ship approaching. She says her name is Rey and he has updated clearance codes.”

“Give it clearance,” Leia hastily and enthusiastically replied. “She can land anywhere she wants. They’ve earned it.”

The lieutenant took in her orders and turned back towards the control room.

Leia tried her best to refocus on her twin standing beside her. “Here’s a spare room.” She opened the door to the proper military space. “You didn’t bring much.”

Luke walked in without any other items. “Don’t need much.” He glanced around the bland room.

“Han and I are down the hall.”

“And Ben?” He asked.

Leia sighed, knowing why he was asking. “He’s in the other wing.” She took in the man before her. “I wasn’t worried about you and Han reuniting…” She breathed. “But I am worried about you and Ben.”

Luke’s eye twitched. “Me too.”

That was not the hopeful reassurance she wanted to hear from her brother.

He nodded towards the hallway. “Go on. I’ll be fine.”

She gave him a thankful nod as she closed his door.

And so Luke Skywalker was alone, once again. He needed this time. After seeing Han and then Leia after so many years, so many events had passed, and so many open wounds left unhealed. It was like reacquainting with ghosts that he had personally killed because neither of them were the same as before Luke took away their son and birthed Kylo Ren. Alone on that island, his guilt ate him raw, warped him into a slip of the man he used to be. Cut out the legendary, he was now only Luke Skywalker. 

And now Leia expected him to face his biggest failure head-on. Look into the eyes of Ben Solo. Another ghost he killed. He wouldn’t blame Ben if he turned his back on him, refused to see him, or even tried to strike. All would be appropriate responses for the pain he caused his padawan.

Ben Solo was supposed to be his greatest success, the future of the Jedi order. With Leia refusing to complete her training, he immediately set out to convince her son, with stories, with gifts. His legacy was to live on in Ben Solo.

Luke paused. He heard himself, heard the words that were going through his head. Ben Solo, Kylo Ren, his padawan… But above all that, this man was his nephew, his blood. He cared for this man as family, as much as he did for Leia. Shouldn’t that fact be a more important driver of his motives than anything else?

He held his head limp at his neck. His nephew deserved better from him. Both he and Leia deserved better. And Luke found a wisp of determination still inside of him, a token of the hope that young Luke Skywalker put all his faith in. He held onto that feeling.

His hips bent backward, finding the metal bed frame brush his legs as he sat down. His feet left the floor and came to cross under him. Hands on his knees, shoulders relaxed, eyes closed, mind…open.

* * *

As they flew overhead, he saw both of them standing nearby, a hand at their eyes to block the light as they watched the ship dive towards the ground.

“Landing gear,” Rey called to him and he pressed in the sequence of buttons on the console. 

When the ship was grounded and the engine’s off, he turned to Rey as they both just stayed put in their seats.

“I guess this is our stop,” he said, gauging her reaction.

She didn’t have one, just stared straight ahead at the back of the hanger where they landed.

“Rey…”

“Thank you,” she cut him off. “Thank you for teaching me.”

He didn’t know how to reply to that. So he didn’t. He watched as her face turned towards him, a quiet resolve in her expression.

“I’ve always felt it inside of me.” He knew by ‘it,’ she meant her raw power in the Force. “But now it’s awake.”

He turned his eyes down. “You’ve only just begun to explore your potential.”

She knew she had more in her. “I need someone to show me my place in all this.”

He let his eyes slowly rise to meet hers as he delivered his offer and promise. “I… can teach you.”

He was relieved to see her head nod with approval, that was the answer she wanted. “I would like that.”

With their new understanding satisfying both of them in ways they never expected, he made to rise from his seat and she immediately assisted him. 

They managed to get him standing with limited pain and he hobbled towards the exit ramp with her under his arm, again supporting some of his weight.

“I saw my Dad.”

“Yes, I saw him too,” Rey nodded. “Does this mean Luke Skywalker is here?”

Ben took in a heavy breath before his terse response. “Probably.” 

Rey stopped them at the top of the ramp, turning one last time towards him before they were in the presence of anyone else. She kept her right hand in his as it clutched around her shoulders and her other hand only traveled from his back to his waist. 

“You’re not alone,” she stated the fact with the same compassionate conviction she did that night in his room.

He felt his right fingers gently press into her shoulder, his thumb brushing back and forth, as he met the newfound devotion in her eyes with his own. “Neither are you.”

And with that, she lowered the ramp. They only just made it to the bottom before his Mom started increasing her pace to meet them.

“Ben Solo,” she chastised, watching as he limped towards them. “You didn’t tell me you were injured!”

“I thought I’d surprise you,” he answered with a straight face.

She huffed, shaking her head before all her worries melted into relief. “Oh, my boy.” She brought her hand to his face. Her words paired with the exquisite beam in her eyes. “I am so proud of you.”

Under normal circumstances he would have rolled his eyes and brushed off her affection, but not today. He let her pull him into a fierce embrace that he reciprocated, letting her words soak into his skin like the first rain after a drought. 

“And Rey…” She turned to the girl who had temporarily stepped back, giving her a proper hug while Han went to his son.

Han stepped up, his eyes matching his wife’s. “You did it, kid.” Han took the back of Ben’s head in his palm and pulled his son into his arms. “Couldn’t be more proud.”

Ben felt his eyes mist but held off as his father pulled back to look at him again. 

Leia stepped beside Ben and did what she did best, took charge.

“Come on. Let’s get you to the med bay. You too Rey.” She called to a droid who was passing by. “Tell the medics to ready two stations immediately.”

Han stepped around Leia’s back to greet Rey with a warm smile and side hug. “Proud of you too, kid.”

Meanwhile, Leia’s focus was back on Ben. “Do you need help walking?” She kept going before he could answer. “You can lean on my shoulder.”

Ben stopped her with a look. “Mom, I’ll crush you.”

Han laughed. “She’s tough as nails. All 5 feet of her.”

Leia ignored his teasing. “Han, help him.”

Han gestured for her to step aside while he held up half of Ben’s weight on his shoulder. “Let’s go, kid.”

The three of them followed Leia through the nearly empty base to the med bay where they immediately found two beds for Ben and Rey to sit on. Leia and Han stood nearby as the medics applied some more intense healing bacta on Ben’s calf that would help it heal faster. Rey’s cut was only a scar now as the bacta had done its job. 

“You’re sure you’re both alright?” Leia asked once again.

Ben turned his head around to see Rey sitting on the other bed and they both nodded. “We’re fine, Mom.” He felt warm, almost happy. Rey was still here. And he heard his Mom and Dad say the words he never thought he would hear from their mouths again. But a shadow lingered.

Rey broke her eyes from Ben to meet Leia’s. “Has the resistance arrived at the Supremacy yet?”

Leia shook her head. “They’re due to arrive soon. In fact, I should be getting back…”

“Mom,” Ben said before she could move. He met her gaze. “Could I speak with you for a moment?”

“Of course,” she said, turning to Han who left the room a moment later with Rey behind him. 

Rey gave Ben one more reassuring nod as she disappeared.

Leia took up the spot where Rey had just been sitting, on the second bed right across from Ben. “I think I know what this is about.” She addressed him with the seriousness and complete attention she felt this conversation deserved.

“Luke’s here.” There was little to no emotion in his voice. 

“Yes,” she confirmed with her words and a head nod, keeping her eyes fixed on his. “He landed just before you.”

Ben slowly let his head lower. He stayed silent. Deep in thought. Searching for answers, but coming to no conclusions. “I…” he finally began. “I don’t know how I feel about that.”

She took a breath, reaching her hand over to rest on his knee. Anchoring him to her and to the support she was offering. “Sweetie, you are certainly allowed any feelings you have towards Luke. Don’t think I begrudge you for one moment.”

“I don’t know how I feel anymore,” he admitted, lost himself.

“That’s okay,” she assured him. “I have mixed feelings too. He made egregious mistakes that no one can excuse. But he’s my brother and I choose to forgive him.”

He knew she would. His Mom always had such an understanding nature, a kind heart.

“But…” Leia continued, dipping her head and bringing it back up. “You need you to know how much guilt Luke has held all these years. He’s punished himself more than any of us could.”

“Mom…” Ben didn’t particularly want to hear about Luke’s feelings right now.

She held up her other hand, palm facing him. “Alright, I’ll stop now.” 

There was one more piece of information he needed to hear from her. “You’re lightsaber…”

“What about it?”

He drew his head up to watch her expression as he spoke. “I called both sabers to my hands. But yours… It came directly to me with such a force.”

She didn’t look too surprised, but she did take a swallow as she heard this and sat back up, her hand dropping back into her own lap. “I wondered…”

“What?” He prodded her.

She went back in time. “I clearly remember constructing it, using all the skills I had learned to craft it and strengthen it. But…”

“But what?” He prompted as she paused.

“But each time I concentrated enough to be able to mold the weapon…” Her head tilted towards her son. “All I could think about was you.”

He suspected that was why, but hearing it confirmed, holding a manifestation of his mother’s love for him was truly moving.

“You were my reason,” she quietly admitted as the words washed over him. “You were what I was fighting for, always.”

She was fighting for a better, more just galaxy for the next generation, and he was her next generation. “I guess the Force has chosen for us,” he said as he gave her a smirk. “I am my mother’s son.”

She met him with her own grin and let him sit there for a moment longer before opting to give him some time alone. “I need to get back to the control room. And you should get some sleep.”

He nodded at her before bringing his eyes down again. “Go, I’m fine.”

She slid herself off the edge of the bed and back onto her feet. Her hand moved to his chin, raising it up. “I missed you.”

Ben’s eyes squinted at her. “I was only gone for about a day.”

She knew it was irrational, but she repeated. “I still missed you.”

He kept his eyes on her generous ones, slowly melting under that look he remembered so well. He exhaled, tilting his head further into the palm that held his face, reveling in the touch he was so starved and feeling her next words, whispered in her kiss to his forehead, resonate in his soul. 

“Welcome home.”


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow! After this one, we only have one chapter to go and then an epilogue! Thanks so much to all who read and to all who review! I have debated on writing a continuation of this story... so please let me know if that is something you would like to read.
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Can I’s have a story, Uncle Luke?” Ben asked through his enormous yawn._

_They ended their evening watching Ben’s holo program together. Ben was thrilled to have his Mommy, Daddy, AND Uncle Luke all to himself for a night. Luke was leaving the next day, so this would be the last time they were all together for a while. Ben thought it a good idea to sit on his Uncle’s lap while they watched. His Daddy was feeling somewhat dejected as he sat alone on the sofa, but Ben assured him that Mommy could sit on his lap._

_So she did. And once the show was over, the family of four lazed in their chairs, no one making the move to get up._

_“What about?” Luke asked as he tilted his head to better see the little boy who was laying on his back on top of him with his legs stretched all the way to Luke’s knees._

_“Tell him about spending a night INSIDE a tauntaun,” the man in the peanut gallery suggested from his utterly relaxed position with his sock covered feet up on the table._

_“What about the time you laughed so hard blue milk came out of your nose.” The second voice in the peanut gallery laughed out from her recumbent position on his lap._

_“Or…” the man started laughing even before he could speak. “The time you fell in love with your sister!”_

_Now they were both cracking up and jostling each other with their belly rumblings._

_Family… Luke shook his head, teasing back harder. “I think he would much rather hear a story about his Mommy and Daddy and the Millennium Falcon… and Bespin.”_

_“Yes!” Ben implored, his Uncle’s words hitting all the little man’s sweet-spots for a great story._

_“NO!” The peanut gallery shouted simultaneously as they shot up from the back of the sofa, eyes wide with fear that he would actually do it._

_Luke reveled in their fear, the power he would always hold over them with that nugget of information._

_“Fine, I’ll tell him about Tatooine.” Luke put them out of their misery and they leaned back against each other, still questioning whether they trusted him._

_Luke turned his head back to the boy looking up at him from his position against Luke’s arms. He began._

_“It was right after we freed Han from the carbon freezing at Jabba’s the Hutt’s…”_

_Leia stepped in for context. “Ben doesn’t know that story yet.”_

_Luke met her eyes, confused. “Why not?”_

_She lifted her chin up. “Because he’s three, Luke!”_

_Luke rolled his eyes and started again._

_“We were all on Tatooine for… a party. And we were out walking towards the Millennium Falcon when all of a sudden this great big sandstorm came upon us!”_

_Ben’s eyes widened thinking about the giant sandstorm._

_“Now I was up ahead with Chewie and Lando…” Luke paused to face the peanut gallery again. “He does know who Lando is, right?”_

_Han rolled his eyes. “Yes, he knows Lando.”_

_Luke continued. “Lando and I were taking the lead and I turned around… and there was nothing behind me. I couldn’t find Han and Leia.”_

_“Where were they?” Ben asked._

_Luke shrugged. “I didn’t know! I walked back towards where we came from, but all I could see was a cloud of dust. I couldn’t even see our footprints in the sand. I called out to them, but they didn’t answer.”_

_Luke paused for dramatics._

_“I kept walking backward retracing my steps while Lando and Chewie stayed standing on our steady course. Finally… I saw something. It was C3PO and R2-D2. They didn’t know where they were either._

_“Did you ever find them?” Ben asked, worried for the characters in the story._

_Han spread his arms palms up and answered the question. “Yeah, buddy. We’re here now.”_

_Leia pulled his arms down and settled them around her waist, waiting for the story to continue._

_“I kept walking and finally… I found them.”_

_Ben kept his eyes on his Uncle._

_“You know what they were doing? In the middle of our escape… I mean party?”_

_Ben shook his head._

_Luke made the reveal with a mighty build up. “They were… kissing!”_

_“EEW!” Ben shrieked as giggles came out and he wiggled in his seat._

_Luke nodded, agreeing with Ben’s assessment. “You’re right eew!”_

_Leia smiled at their antics as Han sent out a threat. “If you keep laughing, we’ll do it again.”_

_Well, they kept laughing so Han bent down and tilted Leia’s chin to reach him._

_“EEW!” Ben shrieked again, the act only elevating his giggles. He jumped down from his Uncle’s lap and jumped up on his mother’s lap, breaking her away from her other man._

_Han lifted his head and countered Luke’s retelling. “Hey, I’ve got a lot of good memories from that day… after not dying.”_

_“So do I,” Luke agreed. “But losing you two in a sandstorm was not one of them.”_

_Leia shook her head at her brother. “Yes, what a day that was. And what an ending…”_

* * *

_“You should really get some rest,” she implored him when they were safely nestled on the Millennium Falcon and in hyperspace once again._

_“Yeah, maybe I should,” he agreed, his body feeling like it had been through an entire war in the past two days. He even allowed Lando to pilot them back. That said more than anything about how he was really feeling._

_She nodded and gave herself one more moment to look at him. His gray, almost lucid eyes meeting hers. She felt her voice whisper her farewell. “Goodnight, Han.”_

_He gave her a single nod as she turned back towards the cockpit._

_“Leia…” His voice rang out as his hand reached out to hers, turning her back to face him as he whispered his own devotion. “Thank you.”_

_She felt like she was in a trance, looking at a ghost, a man she thought she might never see again. Pressing her toes into the ground, she lifted herself, head tilting. She brought her hand to his cheek. He mirrored her, bringing his own much larger palm to rest on her cheek and neck. It felt so right, just like it had when they were together in Bespin. He leaned forward, letting his lips rest against hers. He was back where he belonged._

* * *

Luke snuck away from his quarters, undetected, under the cover of darkness. His hood covering the face of the former legendary Luke Skywalker. 

There was definitely more activity around the base than there would have been on a typical night. Under his hood, he could see the hustle of people moving from here to there and heard their optimistic comments about how the operation was going. But Luke didn’t dwell on them. He stuck to the shadows as he walked onward.

He found his way into a grassy clearing a few paces from the lights and noises of the busy base. He assumed Leia and Han were still wrapped up in the execution of the occupation, and that’s why he hadn’t seen either of them since his arrival. He didn’t need to see them right now. What he needed was space. 

He stood out in the open, taking a deep breath. It had been so long, too long, since he felt the deep connection to the energy coursing through and around him. Like a soothing blanket after a nightmare. Like coming home after battle. The Force was strong here. He could feel his sister. That was the first person he tried to reach once he tapped back in. But right now, all he could feel was the flowing energies of the natural elements around him. He felt like he belonged there.

His moment was interrupted. He felt Ben, his nephew, coming closer before seeing him. It was a raw, strange feeling like he had been transported back in time. The figure was all dark, backlit from the outside base lights, as he stepped into the shadows where Luke stood. He would recognize that profile anywhere, but he would absolutely recognize the energies he emitted that were categorically Ben Solo. His presence seemed unusually strong, but maybe Luke was just out of practice.

As Ben stepped closer and Luke’s eyes adjusted, he saw another person in front of him. A girl. She was leading him forward. Inevitably approaching. 

And so, Luke Skywalker steeled himself for the greatest test of his life, the hardest thing he ever had to do. Facing himself and his biggest failure. 

When a young naive Luke entered that cave on Dagobah, he saw a mirage of himself reflected in Darth Vader’s mask. And now, he saw himself reflected in the image of Kylo Ren, only this time it wasn’t a mirage. He was a piece of the monster he helped create. 

But this man that stood solidly, forcefully in front of him now was not Kylo Ren. Ben Solo proved to be stronger than the darkness inside of him and the darkness thrust upon him. 

He lived up to the Skywalker blood that ran through him.

Ben stopped walking when he was still a distance away, but the girl didn’t.

She continued until she was only a few paces from him, her feet firmly planted and her face open, but tenacious.

“Master Skywalker,” she addressed him. “I’m Rey.”

Ah, yes. The other partner in the mission. Luke nodded at her, but his real concern was the man standing staunchly behind her, rigid, tension filling his every fiber.

“We need answers and I think you can give them to us,” Rey continued, outlining their quest.

Luke took the conversation he could get. “What is this about?”

“It’s about me.”

He looked back at the girl. “What about you?”

Rey wasn’t sure how to answer, wasn’t sure what words to use to describe the powers she felt from within. Her head turned as she heard the voice behind her speak what she couldn’t seem to vocalize.

“She’s strong in the Force,” Ben informed his former master succinctly, feeling comfortable sticking to facts and the here and now rather than the haunted past. “Stronger than anyone I’ve ever encountered.”

Luke swallowed trying to keep with the all too casual conversation they seemed to be having. 

He let his eyes focus on Rey. He was skeptical at first. Surely he would have picked up on her approach. But when he reached out again to her directly, he saw what his nephew was talking about.

Rey must have seen the way Luke’s eyes widened when taking her in. She continued under their new collective understanding. “And Ben and I connect in the Force in a way that…” she paused, trying to find words to describe it. “I’ve never experienced before.”

Luke listened. “What do you need from me?”

Ben took one step forward to arrive on Rey’s plain, again, comfortable sticking to information questions. “Tell me about a dyad in the force.”

Luke paused, his mouth opening as he nodded, now understanding what drew Ben out with her to talk with him. “I’ve only heard legends and prophecies,” Luke began, searching back through his memory banks of treasured facts from yesteryear. “When two Force-sensitive beings connect in a way that the two become one. One force presence.”

Rey leaned in, fully rapt. “We’re listening.”

Luke turned to address Rey directly. “The power of a dyad is as strong as life itself. The beings share a connection that spans across space and time."

“Do you think that could be what this…” Rey gestured between Ben and herself. “What this is?”

Luke nodded. “If what you're telling me is true, that could certainly be the reason.”

Luke may have answered their questions, but it didn’t seem to add any enlightenment to either of them.

“I sensed you coming, Ben,” Luke tried to offer some more information. “But I didn’t feel Rey until I reached to her directly. It did seem like one presence.”

Ben swallowed taking in this new information. “What does the prophecy say about the dyad?”

Luke was struck dumb for a moment but then found trust. Trust in his nephew. In Ben Solo. He lowered his tone as he revealed their potential. “It is said that the dyad will hold a power not seen for generations.”

That took both listeners aback.

“Will you be training Rey?” He asked Ben.

Rey nodded her head, bringing her back into the conversation and answered. “Yes, I want to use the gift I have and train to be a Jedi.”

Luke nodded at the girl, an almost smile ghosting over his face. “You have a good teacher.”

And here came those feelings Ben was trying desperately to avoid. He turned his eyes to the ground, trying to muster out the conflict inside of him.

“Luke…” He began. Well, that was a beginning. He reached through his feelings. “I don’t think I can ever forgive you for my sake.” 

He didn’t look at his Uncle for the time it took him to muster out the next sentence. “But for my Mom, I will.” Now he chose to meet the Jedi’s eyes as he caught the exhale of a long-held breath, his head raising with a self-assured saunter.

Luke immediately looked down shaking his head. “Ben,” the name whispered like a prayer. “That means more to me than you’ll ever know.” 

He steadied his voice, now slowly working to find the courage to meet Ben’s eyes. 

“However, I cannot forgive myself yet. Seeing you here helps,” He shook his head again as a single wet strand fell from his inner eye. “But not yet.”

Ben watched his Uncle. Felt the remorse emanate from his pours. Ben felt an invisible weight lift from his own shoulders, a burden he no longer had to carry. He didn’t need any more from this conversation, so with a nod of acknowledgment, he turned his back.

“Ben…”

Luke’s desperate voice brought him to another stop and he turned his head to the side to show he was listening. 

“I meant what I said.” Emotion flooded through Luke’s words. “You will be a great teacher and you will bring the best of yourself into this new future you have created.”

Ben only hoped that would be true. 

“I want for you what I wasn’t,” Luke continued, his eyes glazing over at the visions he had for himself a lifetime ago. “To live up the legend I never could.”

Ben listened then answered using his own convictions to guide him. “I will be no greater or no less than who I already am. If who I am reaches the status of a legend, then I am already there.”

And with that, he focused on his path forward, not backward. Ben Solo let the past die. He let it go because he decided to let it go.

He felt Rey following him, but she didn’t fall into pace with him until they reached the floodlights of the base.

“You did yourself proud,” she tilted her head to try and pull his focus away from the ground in front of him and towards her and her words.

“I talked to him,” he continued to stomp forward. “That’s something”

She let out a single chuckle, turning her head back to center. “It’s more than something.”

She let them walk further into the base in silence, respecting whatever not talking was doing with his processing mind. They reached the hanger where they had trained. She felt her eyes glance back at the empty spot and they focused forward again as she heard him speak.

“Thank you, again,” he uttered with vulnerable sincerity. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he shook his head and let out an audible exhale. “I feel like one of us is always thanking the other.”

“I know that has to stop,” she joked with a lilt to her voice. “We can’t be this nice all the time.”

She got him to laugh. A huge accomplishment by her account

“When does training start?” She continued their conversation as they walked past the building that housed the control room.

“I have a feeling my Mom will want all our time tomorrow,” he noted reluctantly. “Helping with the air traffic that is sure to be coming through here.”

She nodded. It would be a busy next few weeks for the Resistance and a busy few months to years for Leia and the rest of the galaxy who would be working to install a new order.

“We’ll start soon,” Ben assured her, seeing the slight disappointment going on in her brain.

She nodded, a pleased smile melting over her face. “Good.”

Her stopped motion caused him to turn around. 

“I should really get some rest. This is my stop.” She gestured to the door that led to the main barracks only a few feet away from where they currently stood.

“Yes, you should,” he agreed, nodding with his eyes on her shoes.

She gave herself one more moment to look at him. His dark, penetrating eyes finally meeting hers. She didn’t think his eyes had ever looked more intense and his face had never looked more serene than in this moment. She felt her voice whisper her farewell. “Goodnight, Ben.”

He gave her a single nod as she turned.

“Rey…” His voice rang out as his hand reached out to hers, turning her back to face him as he whispered his own devotion. “Thank you.”

She felt like she was in a trance. The intense stare paired with the energy his mind was giving off made her feel lightheaded and wonderful. It was as if he called her other hand to his cheek. She found the skin there softer than she imagined. Pressing her toes into the ground, she lifted herself, head tilting. Her lips found his other cheek just as soft as they brushed it tenderly. 

Opening her eyes, because apparently they had closed, she felt her feet plant fully on the ground again as her head came back to center. 

He didn’t want her to go, not yet. So he mirrored her, bringing his own much larger palm to rest on her cheek and neck. It felt so right like the prophecy had predicted this long before they ever met. He leaned forward, pulling the last ounce of courage he had and letting his lips rest against hers. He was where he belonged.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright friends! This is the last official chapter, although there is a lengthy epilogue I will post tomorrow. I think this is my favorite flashback!
> 
> Enjoy!

_“Han! If you make us late again, I’ll…”_

_“What? I’m ready,” Han answered coming out of the ‘fresher with a prestigious, belted wrap draped over a new dark blue shirt and pants set._

_Leia looked him up and down. She twirled a finger, asking him to spin for her._

_He gave her a look before spreading his arms out and complying._

_She clicked her cheek in approval. “You look like my father.”_

_His face fell instantly. “That’s it, I’m changing.” He turned back to the fresher, but her hand caught his belt and pulled him back._

_“You will not,” she said confidently, turning him back towards her. “You look great.”_

_Han brought his hand to the high collar and pulled it to give his neck more room. He was clearly uncomfortable, but he was doing this for her. “Ben’s dressed?”_

_She nodded and started to untie her robe. “Yes, I got him ready while you were in there… getting pretty.”_

_He tried once again to walk past her and into the ‘fresher to change, but she stopped him again with her giggles at his antics._

_“Hey we made a deal,” she said when he stopped in front of her. “I get you for the first half of the night and…”_

_“I get you for the second,” He picked up. “Don’t worry. I remember. It’s what’s gonna get me through this.”_

_“Alright.” She patted his chest and moved away. “Now be good while I get my dress on.”_

_She dropped her robe as they spoke._

_“Leia…” He actually had to cover his eyes. “Don’t do this to me.”_

_She continued to step into the dress and pull it over her arms. “We’re on a time crunch, now zip me up.”_

_He peeked and saw that most of her body was now covered, so he moved to her back and zipped the rest of her gown closed, hiding the tantalizing skin in the process._

_“How do I look?” She asked turning fully towards him._

_He groaned again and refused to answer. The white fabric of her dress cut extremely low as it draped over her breasts and the flowing material from her waist to the floor was just light enough to be able to make out her shape underneath. “I’m gonna have to keep my eyes shut the entire evening if we both want to make it through this without embarrassing ourselves.”_

_Leia gave him a wicked smile. She knew just how good she looked in this dress and she was going to use that to her advantage. “Well, you’ll have a 3-year-old to keep your attention on as well.”_

_Leia took one last look in the reflector and made her way out of their bedroom. “Ben, sweetie. Are you ready?”_

_Ben jumped up from his spot on the sofa and joined his family. He was dressed in identical garbs as his father, except donned in a lighter gray. “I’s ready.”_

_“Okay, Solo boys,” Leia clapped as she addressed the two people staring back at her. “The gala is starting about right now, so we are right on time for our entrance. There will be a lot of high profile senators and ambassadors and a few representatives from systems outside the republic. My job, our jobs,” she gestured to the entire family. “Is to charm them, so give them that smolder Han and Ben, just being yourself is cute enough.”_

_She paused to think if there was anything she was missing._

_“They promised there would be food that Ben liked and we can be out by Ben’s bedtime.” An excellent excuse to leave the party early. “Are we ready, my men?”_

_They were ready and they managed to enter the elegant ballroom at exactly the right time, not too early but not too late. Leia took Han’s arm in hers and held her son’s hand as they entered._

_Ben’s eyes dazed with the splendor. This was the first time he was allowed to attend a big event with his Mommy and Daddy. He watched from his spot beside his Mommy as all the people circled around her and they talked on and on. He couldn’t take his eyes off of all the fancy people with fancy glasses and their fancy clothes sitting at fancy tables. When one guest tried to talk to him, he pulled himself back behind his Mommy’s white dress, clinging to her leg._

_Leia continued her conversation with the dignitary as if she didn’t have a clingy child hiking up her gown._

_“This is Ben,” Leia introduced him twisting to the side so the guests she was speaking with could see him for a split second before he hid again. It didn’t matter, the guests were enchanted._

_“And you must be Mr. Organa,” the one guest held his hand out to Han. “A pleasure.”_

_Han bristled. This was the fourth time that happened this night. Usually, by the third time, he decided to just go with it. “Nice to meet you,” he replied shaking hands._

_Mr. Organa spent the rest of the evening splitting his time between being at his wife’s side, talking to a few of the people he recognized, and holding Ben when he got antsy. He was mostly engaged in the latter._

_“What do you think, kid?” Han asked his son as he held him on the sidelines of the party._

_Ben kept his feet tapping as he listened to the music and watched the fancy people dancing._

_“Do you see your Mommy?” Han asked him as they scanned the crowd._

_Ben pointed to the far end of the floor where she was obviously dazzling some important person with a much too exuberant laugh for it to be real._

_Han looked at the time. “Mommy hasn’t eaten yet or taken a break.” The night was more than halfway over and she hadn’t been off her feet the entire time. “Let’s go steal her away.”_

_Leia was having a dreadful time trying to keep engaged in her conversation when she felt him at her knees again._

_“Mommy.”_

_“Excuse me a moment,” Leia said, having no problem asking for an out._

_The little face looked up to her. “Daddy said you need to eat.”_

_“He did, did he.” She straightened up, scanned the crowd, and found him over at their table with three plates ready. She turned back to her conversation partners and again excused herself as she walked with Ben over to their table._

_“You work too much, Princess,” Han said as they approached, holding her chair out for her._

_“Thank you, Mr. Organa,” she grinned as he groaned. “My half of the night remember.”_

_“Fine.” He said sitting himself down and making sure Ben was in his chair between them. “But when that dress comes off,” he whispered, plugging Ben’s ears with a hand on either side of his head. “You’re Mrs. Solo.”_

_“Fine by me, hotshot.”_

_They dug into their meal and had a polite conversation with an old friend, General Rieekan, who was seated next to them. Ben managed to find a few things he found edible and ate the minimum he was required to. He found himself sitting on his father’s lap as the General told them a story, talking just as much to Ben as he did to Han._

_Leia took another bite of her final course when she felt a presence over her shoulder._

_“May I have this dance, Princess?”_

_She saw a familiar hand reach out to her. “Ben?”_

_“General Rieekan said he’d keep an eye on him.”_

_She glanced over and saw Ben sitting on his own, seemingly enraptured by General Rieekan’s stories._

_She turned back and swung her legs to the side of the chair, her eyes fixed on her dashing husband. “I suppose since you look so incredibly sexy…”_

_He grinned as she stood and took his hand. “Even compliments from you are not enough to get me into these more than required.”_

_He led her to the dance floor where there were still many couples swaying together._

_Han took her right hand in his left and brought his right tightly around her back. They were so close she had to wrap her arm around his back to rest on his shoulder._

_Leia sighed as she tilted her head up and her husband tilted his head down, their faces almost touching. “Are you enjoying yourself?”_

_Han hummed and stroked his fingers around the small of her back, feeling the skin that was showing. “Absolutely.”_

_She raised her eyebrow. “Oh great. Then you’ll be glad to hear we’re having another one next week…”_

_He knew she was kidding. “If I get to dance with you like this and I get the second half of the night, I’ll risk it.”_

_Now she hummed with pleasure. “I’m glad to hear it.”_

_He was content to gently sway for a while as their foreheads rested against each other._

_“You never did tell me if you liked my dress.”_

_“And I won’t tell you now,” he answered cryptically._

_“Why’s that?”_

_He leaned forward even closer so only she could hear. “Because if I start describin’ how hot you look, I might be forced to pick you up and carry you out of here to start my Mrs. Solo time. And then I’d probably forget Ben…”_

_He was cut off by her lips on his, sweet and promising. “Well then,” she said breaking quickly. “I won’t ask.”_

_He grinned back at her and readjusted their hold just as he felt a tug on the back of his pants._

_Han turned but didn’t let go of his partner. “‘Scuse me, kid. You tryin’ to cut in?”_

_Leia smiled at the little man and moved to crouch to his level. “Do you want to dance, bubba?”_

_She lifted him in her arms and spun him around until he giggled._

_“Hey kid, she’s my wife.” Han stood to the side with mock dejection, watching as they slowed down and Ben curled up against Leia’s shoulder._

_“She’s my Mommy,” he said, his eyes getting heavy as he yawned._

_Han moved to his family and went back to holding his wife, hands meeting around her back, now with their son between them, all content to sway gently to the music. “Fine. We’ll share her.”_

* * *

He was up early, quickly dressing to check in at headquarters where his Mom was still working. She had been up all night, monitoring the progress as her Resistance successfully overtook the Supremacy. The few vessels that came to its defense were quickly taken care of and, thanks to Ben and Rey’s work, there was no way the occupants could escape.

She ordered her teams to disarm and hold all passengers while they flew the ship to Chandrila where the occupants would be unloaded and the ship dismantled. A few of her contacts planet-side got word to her that after the Hosnian system was no more, the systems in the Republic were sending new representation to form a shadow government in Chandrila in preparation for the fall of the First Order. She was given a list of names in the new alliance and her lips turned into a brilliant smile. These were her people, rising to take charge. A new democracy was on the horizon. 

This would not be the final battle, Leia knew that well from experience. But this was the beginning of the end. The fall of the Darkness and the rise of the Light.

She saw him enter the room in her peripheral vision and gave him a quick smile before administering another order to her team.

“Come here, Ben,” she waved a hand to bring him further in the room. She took a step away from her leadership position in front of the holo, grabbed a large mug probably filled with kaff, and walked towards her office.

“I don’t want to take you away from your work,” Ben said as he walked with her.

She dismissed him. “I need a break.”

He saw how her body was fading, melting under the pressures of the day and night. “You should get some sleep.”

She chuckled at his absurd statement. “You sound like your father.”

He stepped into the office after her and shut the door behind him. “Where is he?”

His mother waved her hand around in the air and took a healthy sip of the substance that was fueling her as she spoke, sitting down at her desk chair. “Around, making himself useful.”

“And Luke?”

She settled further, closing her eyes and sighing as her weary legs relaxed. “Taking time to meditate somewhere nearby.”

Ben nodded, still standing in front of her.

Leia’s eyes reopened to focus on her son, leaning forward in her chair. “He told me you’re planning to teach Rey.”

Ben swallowed, confirming. “I am.”

He was relieved to see her lips turn up before she spoke. “I’m glad.”

He was happy she was happy, but why was she happy?

“Rey took very quickly to you,” Leia continued, her eyes taking on a knowing glint. “And you took surprisingly quickly to her.”

“A dyad in the Force,” Ben confirmed with as straight a face as possible.

Leia could almost laugh at her son’s forced stoic face. “If you say so.” She didn’t stop the conversation there. “But if you ask me, I see a much more normal… familiar… primal connection as well.”

Of course, she was going there. “Mom…”

“Alright, I’m done.” She stopped almost as quickly as she started, knowing what his reaction would be but saying it anyway. “But just know that I am so happy to have you here, your father too. And we’ll be here to support you whatever you choose to do next.”

Subconsciously, he knew that, but it was nice to hear it vocalized. He nodded at her, grateful.

Leia gave Ben his marching orders and he set off with a holopad of the hanger locations and personnel assignments. He walked out onto the base with the full light of day dripping down on the activity. Ben stood himself at a central location so as to be seen. As the fighter pilots started to return, they landed and came to Ben to get their next orders. 

His Mom was a smart woman. She knew this assignment would force him and her Resistance fighters to interact. He was hesitant at first and so were they. But news spread quickly here.

The pilot he knew of as Poe strutted up to him with a bold swagger. “Hey, Ben,” He started, getting the other man’s attention with his tight face. “You and Rey are the ones who took out Snoke, right? Made it so we could take over the ship.”

Ben let his eyes soften from the hard stare they had grown so used to. “That’s right.”

The pilot nodded his head, taking in that information. He raised a hand and slapped the other man’s arm. “Good work.” And with that, he was off, running to his next job.

There were more interactions like that. “Thank you,” “Nice job,” and more personal introductions followed as the Resistance base remained abuzz. 

Rey eventually appeared from her bunker. Looking much more rested than last night. He felt the rest of the base fall away as she walked closer. 

Finn found her first, giving her a great hug. He couldn’t tell what they were saying, other than the fact that Finn seemed relieved that she was alive and safe.

Ben met her eyes again, over Finn’s shoulder. He watched as Rey said some parting words to her friend that had him running off and Rey once again on her path. 

She was luminous, the light she always seemed to emit was even stronger today, rivaling the light of day. She was back in her old white wrapped scarves and pants with a leather belt holding it together at the waist. Hair in three neat buns down the back of her head. 

She reached him before he could fully take all of her in.

“Good morning,” he called when she was near.

“How are you?” She asked giving him a luminous grin as she stopped beside him.

He thought about that and answered as his father would. “Better now that you’re here.”

She bared her teeth in a chuckle before tapping the holopad. “Does your mother have an assignment for me?”

Ben thought back to his conversation with her this morning and didn’t even look at the holopad before saying, “She certainly does.”

“What is it?” Rey asked innocently, no idea the context of his words.

Focusing back on the holopad, Ben quickly searched the records and found a note that she was to report directly to General Organa.

“Right, I’ll see you later then.” Rey left with a nod.

Ben found himself standing still for a moment before pumping his legs to follow her.

She felt him come up beside her and met her swift pace. “You don’t trust me alone with your mother?”

“I don’t trust her alone with you.” He made sure the emphasis was on ‘her.’

“Oh, does she have embarrassing stories to share? Isn’t that what families do?”

When had he become so comfortable with her? He blinked and there she was, fully entwined in his life, in his future. “She has a whole trove of stories, but nothing you need to hear.”

“Tell me something,” she asked, now curious.

He thought for a moment and then decided on a story that would make her laugh. “Well when I was almost four, I went to my first big gala event with her and my Dad.”

“Did little Ben embarrass his parents?” She asked playfully.

He shook his head. “Not at the event. However, when we got home I threw up all that fancy food all over my fancy costume. My Mom was up with me the entire night. I remember Dad was furious.”

She let out a chuckle at the scene as they kept walking.

When they arrived back at her office, his mother was still slouched in her desk chair with her head resting on one of her arms and her kaff mug empty. This time his father was also there, sitting on the desk with one leg bent and one leg on the ground. He was looking just as weathered as she. 

“Rey, I’m glad you’re here.” She turned her chair away from her husband to address the young girl. “Can you temporarily join the ship maintenance crew? We're short on personnel as it is, but now we need to keep doing these minor repairs so we can keep X-Wings at the ready to support in the coming days.”

“Of course, General,” Rey nodded.

“Leia, please,” the older woman insisted giving her last smile of the day to Rey and rising to her feet.

“And now that you saw Rey,” Han announced, standing behind his wife and placing his hands on her arms. “You are going to bed.” He quickly started guiding her towards the door before she thought about one more thing she needed to do first.

“I’m going,” she insisted, putting one heavy foot in front of the other. “Admiral Statura is in charge now, so go to him if you need anything.”

“Get some rest,” Ben said by way of a response. 

“I am!” She assured again with a bite. Her words were paired with a comforting wave coming through the Force as she rounded the door.

Han watched from the side as Leia gave a few last notes to Admiral Statura and eventually found her way back to him, walking past in her zombie-like state towards her quarters.

“What did you do when I wasn’t around to take care of you? Work yourself into the ground?” 

His admonishment was light, but her answer was morosely honest. 

“I was miserable. Work consumed me and let me escape.” She wasn’t one to sugar coat anything. 

He swallowed. “And you’re the strong one…. I was worse.”

“I need you with me,” she admitted quietly. She fell into step with him, her hand reaching out to take his as they continued walking. “More than I ever knew.”

“You better get used to it again,” he said as a promise. “You work too much, Leia,” Han warned for the 3,000th time in their life together.

“I know.”

He was ready for another fight, but gladly took the acknowledgment she gave him. “You gotta slow down.” He took it one step farther.

He heard her exhale before another surprising acknowledgment. “I know.”

He disentangled his fingers from hers and moved his arm to wrap around her shoulders. He then felt her arm follow his lead and rest at his waist. “What’re you thinkin’?” He asked, skeptically.

Her mind spun with all the thoughts that were rambling through her head. Important thoughts, and non-important thoughts. Strategy related maneuvers and thoughts about how thirsty she was. Thoughts about the past… and thoughts about the future.

“This war is not yet won.” Not a very uplifting place to start. “There will be more dead before the First Order concedes.”

He sighed, his eyes growing sad. “Yeah, you're right about that.” 

“And then the new group of planet representation that is now meeting in Chandrila will need to bind the galaxy together in a new order. A new democracy.”

“Yeah,” Han sighed beside her. “A lot to be done.”

She waited a moment, took a few more steps into the quieter part of the hallway before speaking again. “I think they’re ready.”

“Who's ready for what?” 

It could just be her tiredness talking, but she didn’t think so. This had been her goal for more years than she could count, and it was finally time. “I think the next generation is ready to take my lead.” She felt Han’s reaction through his hand on her shoulder. “The rising diplomats, fighters, leaders. They’re ready to pick up where we left off, learn from our mistakes and make their own mistakes.”

Han was hesitant. He heard her talk about stepping back before, but she was always pulled back in. “You have a lot of faith in them,” he decided on.

“I should. I trained many of them myself.” She thought of the countless young diplomats she had taken under her wing while working in the Senate, the brave smart people she met when visiting other planets. They were all on the list of the new government’s alliance. She thought of Poe and the skills he had shown with military strategy. They were the future.

He felt his tongue trace his lip, his voice lowered as he asked slightly above a whisper. “And where does that leave you?”

Of course, she had an answer at the ready. “We should first focus on Ben and Rey, making sure they find a place in all this.”

Han’s eyes scrunched in confusion at their names paired together. “Ben and Rey?”

She nodded nonchalantly. “Ben is going to train her and I think he’s falling in love with her, but that’s not what we were talking about…”

“Wait, what?” Han exclaimed stopping them from any further progression. 

She tugged him back into their steps. “I can’t talk about that now, I’m not entirely sure my lucid brain isn’t playing tricks on me.”

Han certainly stored that information into the back of his head to ask about some time.

“About our future.” She brought them back on track. “I had a thought,” she raised her head and tilted to look at him. “The new government is going to need a massive rehabilitation campaign with representatives traveling around to reengage planet leadership in the new order. Like we did with the New Republic.”

“You’re the ideal candidate,” Han affirmed.

She agreed. “Ambassador at large…” They came to the door outside their quarters. Before he could open the door, she stepped in front of him. “But I need a ship.”

He smirked, catching her drift. “And a pilot.”

She eyed him and shook her head in quick motions. “I can fly myself.” She emphasized the word ‘can.’

“Well,” he looked down the hall one way and then the other, finding it lifeless. “I know where you can find yourself a top-notch ship.”

“Fast?” She asked.

“The fastest,” he assured her with his eyes growing as he bragged. “Made the Kessel run in 12 parsecs.”

She clicked her tongue on her teeth. “Ooo, Impressive.”

“Only thing is, this ship comes with baggage.”

“What kind of baggage?” She asked back, knowing where this was going.

“Comes with a pilot.” His feet moved a fraction closer to her so his arms could easily reach back around her waist as her arms came to rest on his shoulders. “Handsome guy but it’s a package deal.”

She pursed her lips in contemplation of this offer. “And what type of payment does this pilot accept.”

He smiled at that, his forehead resting against hers and quickly twisting to bring her cheek to his. “Favors…” he whispered in her ear, his head still rocking against hers.

“What kind of favors?” She pressed him in her words and pressed her fingers further into his shoulders.

He trailed his forehead back to center before answering. “Ones you're more than capable of giving.”

She let out a lazy giggle, releasing some of the exhausted tension that had been building up. She ducked under his chin to rest her head on his chest, closing her eyes as she held on tight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: I asked if people would like a sequel and after a few positive responses, I had a brain spark of what I would include in a sequel. 
> 
> I also have another story I started where Han and Leia have amnesia a year after the Empire is defeated and think they are back on Hoth. It focuses on their challenges adjusting to their new life without the Empire and the significant changes in their personal life since their verbal sparring on Hoth...
> 
> I think I am more motivated to write the sequel for this story first, but let me know your thoughts and help sway me one way or the other!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, friends, this is it... for now...
> 
> Thank you so much for coming on this journey with me and thank you for all your kind notes. I had so much fun writing this and am really pleased with the results!
> 
> Stay safe everyone and enjoy!

**Epilogue**

_“Are we there yet?” The littlest member of their trio complained as his feet trudged, one after the other through the dense forest. He looked up to the adult whose hand he was holding. “I’s tired.”_

_Leia looked down at the little boy dressed in his play clothes and walking boots. “You can walk, Ben. We haven’t gone that far.”_

_He groaned. “But I’s wanna see the Ewoks.”_

_She tried her best to suppress her motherly frustration at his whining._

_Han came to both of their rescues as he stopped and knelt down. “Climb up, kid.”_

_Ben gladly dropped his mother’s hand and climbed onto his father’s back._

_Han wrapped his hands under Ben’s knees as he stood._

_“We’re almost there,” Leia announced hiking up her own boots as they kept walking through the brush and tall, tall trees._

_She came to a stop as some of the trees became slightly familiar. “I think it’s this way,” she said pointing towards that direction._

_Her husband stopped beside her and looked around, coming up with the opposite opinion. “I think this way.” He nudged his chin in the other direction._

_“It was near the lake…”_

_“Which is this way,” he insisted._

_She huffed and eyed him. “Fine, we’ll go your way.”_

_Han gave her a satisfied nod as he trailed the path towards the scenery that looked familiar to him. There was a clearing up ahead. The area had obviously once been used for a large fire, maybe to cook, or for a passing group to set up camp for the night, or for a victory celebration after a battle was won. He heard the flowing water before he saw it. Just to their right, there was the lake. This was it._

_“Wait.” It took Leia a moment longer to realize and a moment longer to actually admit it. “Here, this is it.”_

_Han nodded, taking in the incredible view, sounds, and smells. “Yeah, I remember. The fire and the lake.” He inhaled. “The smell of the pines.”_

_She let her smile bloom. “The sounds of the celebrations still ringing throughout the galaxy.”_

_He let Ben climb off his back and do his own exploring. “Alright.” he crossed his arms and turned to his wife. “Let’s hear it ‘Han, you were right.’”_

_She flitted her eyes, she was back in a good mood. “Han, honey,” she crooned. “You were right.” She slid herself next to him as his arm came around her. “I’ll never doubt you again.”_

_He rolled his eyes. “Well that’s bantha fodder, but I’ll take it for now.” He felt his head lowering to hers._

_Ben perked up. “This is where you’s was married?”_

_“It is.” Han turned his head and let his wife sink away from him. “This is where it all happened.”_

_Leia cocked her head. “Not ALL of it…”_

_He caught her meaning and turned to point at the lake. “Well no, some of it happened over…”_

_“HAN!” She stopped him, pulling his gaze back and shaking her head at his smolder._

_Ben was in his own world as he scouted the terrain. “Was it right here?” He jumped on a spot near the remnants of a fire pit._

_Han walked over to his son and shuffled them over a few feet. “I was standing right… here.” He planted his feet in the place he remembered and waved Leia over. “And your Mommy was…”_

_She stood across from him and he moved her shoulders slightly to match with the image in his mind. “… right here.”_

_Leia looked back to their little boy. “General Rieekan officiated.”_

_“What’s officiated?”_

_Han answered. “It means he was the one who read the vows and said we were married.”_

_“Can I be that person?” Ben got excited._

_“Sure you can! Okay now,” Han lifted his son and placed him on their other side, so he was standing between the bride and groom. “The officiate needs to stand here.”_

_Ben looked down at his spot and jumped his feet there so they would stay put. “Now we get married!”_

_Leia laughed at her smiley little boy. “Not yet! First, you have to say a few things.”_

_Ben now had a job to do, so he took it seriously. “What do I say?”_

_Han answered, taking his wife’s hands in his. “First you start by asking me if I want to marry her and if I will love, honor, and cherish her.”_

_Ben looked at his father, his legs only slightly wiggly. “Do you wanna marry Mommy?”_

_“Yes,” Ben watched him answer._

_Ben remembered the other words. “And love her and honor her?_

_Now his father turned to look at his mother as he pulled their joint hands to his chest and she took a step forward. “Yes, I do.”_

_His mother smiled, her head tilted up. Then she looked back down at Ben. “Now you ask me if I want to marry your Daddy.”_

_“Do you wanna marry Daddy and love and honor him?” Ben was getting good at this._

_Again, her face tilted up to look at his father. “I do.”_

_Ben was pleased with himself. He bounced up to his parent’s legs. “Now do you kiss and we go see the Ewoks?”_

_Han stopped his son’s jumping brigade. “Hold on, buddy. I have some more things to say first.”_

_Ben huffed, but Leia looked at him curiously. What did he have planned?_

_She felt his weight shift, his eyes laser-focused on hers as he knelt down. The only thing she could think of to do is grip his hand tighter._

_“Princess, I’m no good at fancy words…” He let his one arm drop from hers as Ben came to cling around his father. He wrapped one arm around his son and held his wife’s hand in his other. “But you deserve to hear them every day.”_

_He took her breath, took her heart. And now she was trying to hold everything she still possessed together to listen to the rest of his devotions._

_“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, my Leia.” He kept his focus on her as their son climbed up his father’s back. “You know me better than I do. You let me fly when I need to fly, but I find I just miss you more and more. I never thought…” He swallowed the bubbling emotion. “I would find so much of myself and where I belong in one person. I just… love you so much.”_

_She knelt to meet him. Her light forest green dress pressing at her knees. She opened her mouth to speak, to try and express all he was to her. But she stopped when she saw the small black velvet box that appeared in his hand._

_“Oh, Han…” She sighed, falling back on her heels as her hand went to cover her mouth. “What have you done?”_

_He snickered. “Hopefully made you happy, sweetheart.”_

_She raised back to her knees and brought her fingers to his hands on the box, her touch as gentle as a feather._

_He lifted the lid to reveal the most exquisite sapphire stone set in gold she had ever seen. “Han…” she breathed, truly in awe._

_Ben swung around his father to look into the box, his eyes immediately recognizing the piece. “I picked that!”_

_Han turned his face to his son, his free arm pulling the boy in. “That’s right, kid. Ben helped pick it.”_

_She moved her own hands to pull the little boy into a mighty embrace. “You have good taste, bubba.” She used the opportunity to wipe her eyes behind her son’s back. “Thank you.”_

_Ben pulled back with a satisfied grin and a giggle. “Put it on Mommy!” He turned back to his father who had already removed the ring from the box and held it out to her._

_She held out her left hand and watched as it slipped on, perfectly complimenting her royal blue wedding ring on her right hand._

_“It fits!” Ben put his arms up in victory._

_Her shimmering eyes beamed at her husband, his own shined back. Shaking her head in disbelief at the man in front of her, she wrapped her arms around his shoulders whispering the only thing she could. “I love you, so much.”_

_Han lowered his head as she drew closer, finding his arms snaking to her back. He watched her eyes close and his heart pumped even faster. He felt her lips meet his, and then he turned his head, the manifestation of their love coming into view. “Hey, little officiate. Can we kiss now?”_

_“Yes,” Ben nodded, granting his permission._

_Han turned back to her, eyes once again closing as they sealed their impromptu celebration with a kiss._

* * *

A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. We are all searching for that belonging.

For some, that sense comes immediately, from a loving home and parents who make their child feel like they are the most important thing in the world. For some, that sense comes later, when they find a tribe to make a life with, someone to belong with. And for some, it is easy to fall prey to a destructive purpose, a tribalism that negates values of compassion and love. It’s all too easy to fall on a quest to belong. But we are all lucky if we look up to find someone there with an outstretched hand, calling us home.

His family called Ben Solo home. And they found new belonging in each other.

Rey more so than anyone.

After disappearing with Ben for over a year, she emerged a powerful Jedi, stronger than Leia ever expected, and with a determined path forward for herself and for the future of the Jedi. 

With the help of her family, she set up a new practice for Jedi training on Naboo. After consultation with both Luke and Leia, she decided to take on a very limited number of new recruits for interval periods of time. She was thrilled that Finn was one of her first pupils. Luke came from Ahch-Toto to Naboo for a few weeks each year to guide and mentor some of the recruits, offering his own expertise to Rey’s students. The rising Alliance of the Republic worked with her to harness the power of her trainees for the good of the Alliance, learning from the mistakes of the past and giving new meaning to the Jedi order.

Rey’s decision made other decisions easier. Of course Ben followed her to Naboo and of course that is where Leia and Han set up their own home base. They bought a spacious land nearby with a large hanger, only a short ride from Rey’s academy. 

Leia had been right, not for the first time in her life. The new government was strong, the people who rose as leaders were young and brilliant, and Leia had full confidence in them. Poe rose to ranking General and was the obvious choice to lead the limited military the Alliance retained. This made Leia happier than anything because it meant she would still be working closely with him.

Her position as Ambassador at large was finally a reality. It took a full year for the rest of the First Order fleet to be solidly defeated and for the easing of the transition into the new government. But now, finally, she was free to make her own decisions for the rest of her life. Beginning the previous month, she began traveling on Alliance orders. The job still gave her ample amounts of free time which left time for her to support Rey, time for her to visit Luke, time to spend with her son, and time to play the part of Mrs. Solo. 

Han played the role of Mr. Organa for the year where she was still active. He made himself useful by doing scheduled runs for personnel and supplies during the final months of the Resistance. Through the rebuilding of the government, he stayed with her. They found an apartment on Chandrila for the short term, near where they lived when Ben was young. He found his feet back under him again when he was invited to commentate and sit on the advisory board of the Five Sabers racing competition. Luckily, it would involve minimal travel so that he could travel with Leia for her official trips as well as their own personal excursions, sometimes with only his wife and sometimes with his son, Ben Solo, as his copilot.

After years in the spotlight and with high expectations thrust upon him, Ben was keeping a low public profile. With the fall of the First Order, a new government took over uniting the galaxy once again. Ben was tried and exonerated through the court system. His main defense was due to his actions on the Supremacy and they were enough. 

Though a free man, he had no illusions as to the controversy he still spurred. Leia was prepared and ready to launch a full-scale defense of her son, calling upon all her public credit to bring him back into the world. But Ben didn’t want that. He didn’t want to have to defend or even try to excuse his prior actions. It wasn’t fair to the innocent people whose lives he took. He would face controversy, he had no illusions about that. 

But Ben Solo was content. He had his ship to travel in, fly when and where he pleased. He was commissioned part-time by the new government on the sly to help smooth the transition with some former First Order sects. He often flew for with his mother when he could offer some guidance in bringing First Order nations into the republic, but his Jedi days were through. He trained Rey. That would be his Jedi legacy. Ben Solo was always going to be a pilot.

“Are they ready?” Han asked as Leia appeared from the mountainscape that covered the surface of the Varykino lake area. She was just climbing the last of the steep paths that led to the mountain top where he waited for her. 

“They’re coming soon.” She let him take her hand as she walked to where he was standing.

“How is he? How is she?”

“They’re both fine.” She patted her hand on his arm. “Nervous, but fine,”

“How are you?” He asked as she looked up at him, the elevation and the wind blowing the tendrils of her hair and making her face flush.

“Nervous, but fine.”

He let his eyes wander to the path she had taken, waiting for Ben and Rey to follow her momentarily. 

“I’m glad to see you found a clean shirt,” she said as her fingers when to the crisp collar.

He grinned back, happy that she was happy. “I’ll clean up for you anytime.”

She shook her head. “It’s not for me today.”

He disagreed. “Well, it can be for you later.”

She didn’t argue with that. Her head turned to view the brilliant scenery they were surrounded by. It had all her senses tingling. She smelled the scents from the exquisite wildlife as the wind carried it to her nose, she heard the rushing water in the distance and could see the stream winding through the lush green valleys. Creatures from the ground and the sky made their presence known through a canticle humming through the air. And she felt it all. Felt the elements mixing in the Force as it settled all around her.

“It’s beautiful here,” she sighed as she drew the light, muslin shawl closer around her shoulders. The light fabric of her flowing purple dress made these altitudes quite chilly. It made her feel better when her husband stepped behind her and wrapped his arms over the shaw. “They picked a perfect location for the academy.”

Han agreed but had to add his own quip. “It almost makes me feel okay that they’re moochin’ off of our credits.”

“OUR credits?” She mock-scolded his characterization. She knew he was talking about their very sizable contribution to Ben and Rey’s new life that included ships, land for the academy, and monthly living expenses. It didn’t matter to her. They deserved it.

“What’s yours is mine and what’s mine is yours. Fortunately for me, the first part of that sentence is what’s keeping all of us alive.”

She smiled as she leaned back into him. “They’re still finding themselves. Remember our first year after Endor? We were both so lost.”

“Sweetheart, I was completely lost for at least three years after Endor,” he corrected, remembering his time as a new father and as a reputable man with a famous wife.

“But you got there in the end, found a balance between home life and keeping up with your love of flying.” She drew her hands to her chest to cover his. “Ben and Rey deserve that chance as well.”

He agreed with that. “I want them to have what we didn’t.”

She knew exactly what he was talking about. “Family. A mother, a father…” And then her mind spun, projecting a future she hoped to see. “Grandparents…”

He frowned, she could tell his facial expression from the bite in his next words. “You’re not old enough to be a grandmother!”

She chuckled at his exclamation. 

“I’m already ancient, but you…” He brought a hand to her cheek and tilted her chin so he could look at her gracefully aging face. “You’re eternally young.” 

“Keep talking, old man,” she cooed.

“You’ll still have time for at least two more husbands after I’m gone.”

She pretended to think for a moment. “Probably. Why do you think I’ve been introducing you as my first husband all these years?”

“I thought that was a threat,” he said as he held her tighter.

She opened her mouth to respond but cut her comment as she heard and then saw the two additional bodies that made up their family approaching from the mountain, hand in hand.

Han noticed her glance and they watched as the couple walked together, both choosing to enter into the next stage of their life walking side by side. 

“You think they’ll be happy?” He asked into her ear, his fingers coming to play with the wedding band on her own digit.

“I do.” Her chosen words had a successful effect on him as he lifted her right hand to kiss the gems that sparkled on her finger before releasing her and taking a step back.

The ceremony was to be small, very small. Only one person more than Han and Leia had at their wedding, a whopping 4 people. The bride and groom, the officiate, and the officiate’s husband. 

They asked Leia to perform the ceremony. She had ample practice from her professional life, but all those previous times seemed like practice for today. 

Ben slept at his parent’s apartment the previous night, keeping with some tradition, but overlooking most others. 

Leia spent her morning with Rey at her and Ben’s house on the grounds of the academy doing simple preparations to get ready, brushing the girl’s short hair, and doing her best to create a braided style she knew Ben would adore. Leia had gone with Rey the week prior to pick out an outfit for the occasion. Nothing too fancy, but still special. Leia relished in this girl time with another female, especially with a person as special as Rey.

She wasn’t sure what Han and Ben were planning on spending their time doing, but when she returned to their home, they were both filthy, covered in grease stains from head to toe. She quickly deduced that they spent their bonding time in the bowels of one of their ships, probably the Falcon as Ben’s vehicle was only a year old and Rey would never let either of them mess with hers without her express permission. 

She shooed Ben off to the guest room to bathe and sent Han into their own ‘fresher. Ben changed into his simple pants and a gray button-up shirt. Leia picked out a nice jacket for him to wear over top, nothing fancy but still special.

Once Han looked like a clean version of Han, the three of them drove to the grounds of the academy where Rey was waiting. Han made his way first to the mountain top they scoped out for the ceremony. Leia checked on Rey one last time before letting Ben go in to meet her. That was when she walked herself to meet her husband and wait for the couple to join them.

The couple walked toward the ordained Alderaanian Princess and her husband, hand in hand. Her, donning a ruched blue jumpsuit that covered her torso and hugged below her waist. There was extra fabric attached at the back waist that flowed behind her in the wind. He, sporting his button-up and jacket with his long hair slightly slicked back. They walked completely in sync through the meadow and up to the rest of their party.

They took their places, facing the other with the Princess between them. At her first statement, they joined hands. 

She spoke from her memory, reciting the words she had repeated many times for many couples. This pair appeared to be no different. The groom couldn’t move his eyes from his captivating bride. The bride stared right back with an adoring gaze.

Their hands were clothed in smooth, youthful flesh, yet weathered through war. Their faces, deeply set at the eyes with the trials and challenges they’ve faced. Their eyes, opened and scarred by images and experiences they never predicted. Time had changed them.

And yet here they stood, together on the other side. 

When the time came the groom turned to the older man at his side and held out his hand. The man reached into his pocket, pulling out a familiar and exquisite sapphire stone set in gold. Handing it to the groom, he took the treasured family ring that Ben Solo picked out and slipped it on his bride’s finger while reciting his promise to love, honor, and cherish her. She repeated his words, pledging her love till death do they part.

The Princess raised her right hand, gesturing to the bride and then the groom. 

The words sparked action. The groom let go of his bride’s hands, but only to move to caress her cheeks. The bride latched onto her groom’s arms, pulling him close with her fingertips digging into his skin. He tilted her head, leaned in, and poured all the passion, gratitude, commitment, and love he could into his wholehearted kiss. She matched his devotion in earnest, savoring all they were together.

As soon as they broke, their family was there with hugs and congratulations for both of them. Leia hugged her now daughter-in-law while looking into the eyes of her smiling son.

“Take good care of him,” she whispered to the girl as she reached her hands for her son to join their embrace. “And you take care of her.”

“I will,” they both answered through elated grins. 

Han stood behind his wife as she stepped back from the couple. “Have fun, you two.”

“They will,” Leia answered for them with a knowing smirk and elbowing her husband behind her.

Ben turned his head to the side for composure before chastising them with a look. “Mom, Dad…”

They weren’t listening to his retort. Leia still had Rey’s hand in hers and was admiring how perfect the ring looked on the young girl’s finger. “Fly safe.”

“I will,” they both answered again.

Leia took another step back, her entire being glowing at the young couple, her ultimate legacy. She raised her hand for a wave as Rey took Ben’s hand. Their smiles biding their temporary farewells, then their heads turned, their feet carrying them back down the mountain and towards their future together.

“I love them both,” his whispered voice found her ear.

She watched the last of their heads disappear into the valley before turning to the voice. “I know you do…” Her voice trailed off as she tilted her brilliant grin up to him.

“What?” He asked, curious about her serene expression.

“I like to hear you say it.”

“I love you too,” he confirmed as his head lowered to meet her forehead.

“I know that too.”

Her smile turned once again to the vista before them, trying to take in this moment as the Naboo day slowly turned to dusk.

“Sit with me?” He asked as he took a few steps towards a grassy space and lowered himself delicately. 

She watched as he stretched one leg out and bent the other. His one arm went to rest on his knee while the other stretched towards her. She held her skirts as she first knelt and then sat with her legs curled beside him, facing outwards towards the landscape. He let his arm rest on the ground behind her, holding some of his weight and allowing him to lean into her shoulder.

“You remember our wedding day?” She reflected.

“Course I do,” he assured her, running through the entire day in his head. “I remember the look on General Rieekan’s face when you said you wanted to marry that old smuggler.”

She smirked. “I’m never one to be predictable.”

“You can say that again.” He turned from the view to look at something even more exquisite. “Now… I’m remembering after the wedding.”

“Uh-hum,” she cooed as she felt his breath on her cheek. “What about it?”

“Nothin’ really.” He shrugged, trying to maintain an air of passivity. “It was nice…”

She eyed him from the corner of her lids. “‘Nice’ is not the first word that comes to mind when I think about that encounter.”

“Well,” he offered a compromise. “There’s a secluded lake down there. We could… compare notes…”

She snickered with an incredulous head shake. “Leave that to the youth, okay hotshot.”

He pressed his lips together with his dejection. “Well then, what fun can we have?”

“Plenty.” Her statement was followed by action. She twisted herself to fully face him. With their eyes fully locked on each other, she started low, snaking her palms from his belted waist with firm pressure all the way around his shoulders and raking down his arms. Her hands finally stopped on his biceps as they latched on and pulled herself closer.

He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. He wasn’t far behind her as he tilted his head down, giving her the ability to reach his lips with hers. Her mouth parted slightly and he watched her tongue peek through her mouth to swipe across her pink lips. His breath came in quick labored gasps and he felt a surge of adrenaline shoot from his core to every nerve in his body.

Her active mouth manifested the feelings that were in her heart. She felt him reciprocate the message, his soul gripping her tighter, pulling her under.

In her haze, she pulled away only enough to catch her breath. She felt her skin burning where his hands ended up on her cheek and at the small of her waist. Her head tilted to the other side, knocking noses as the magnetic force pulled them in again.

The power of their caress forced him to lean back until he was flat on the ground. She didn’t hesitate before moving closer so that the top of her body was resting on his. 

He felt his chest swirl as soon as her lips touched his again. She was so warm. She let out a breath and he sucked it in a moment later. He couldn’t follow his body’s reaction. She had him wild, turned around inside. The desire was creeping heavy in his soul. He was on fire and she was the oxygen he still craved after all these years.

When she felt adequately sated for the public location they currently occupied, she pulled her head back and reveled in the hazy look on her partner’s face. Taking a steadying breath, he snaked a hand around the back of her neck and let her head rest on his chest. With his other arm around her back, he pulled her impossibly closer.

A whizzing sound started low and distant, but immediately caught the attention of the man on the grass. He sat up, suddenly not even aware of the woman he had lying on him or the fact his jerk made her tumble to the ground.

“Han…” she chided confusedly.

“Shh…” He quieted her with a hand as his head turned towards their private hanger.

Now she saw what he heard. They watched together as a familiar ship rose from its hideaway, the streak of light igniting along its back. Steadily, it climbed higher. They had to tilt their heads back as it rose and twisted slowly, soon facing them head-on.

It didn’t linger. No sooner had it reached flight height than it went into gear and rushed forward, exemplifying its title as the fastest ship in the galaxy. 

Both their heads arched as they followed its path above them, watching until it left only a streak of light in its wake.

“They took the Falcon…” he managed with his jaw dropped.

She titled her amused face towards him. “You’re surprised?”

“Yeah, I am! We buy them…”

She cleared her throat.

“You buy them,” he corrected. “Each of them a new ship and they take mine!”

“You said they can always borrow her,” Leia was trying to reason with him.

“Yeah, if they ASK me first.”

“You said it would one day be Ben’s ship…”

“I’m not dead yet!” He assured, turning towards her.

She let out a single chuckle at that as she de-escalated his temporary stupor with her hand pressing against his chest.

“You are most certainly not dead yet,” she cooed as she returned him to his recumbent position. 

Her hand snaked down his chest, rubbing her palm over the solid surface.

“It’s their honeymoon, love. Leave them alone.”

Her ministrations obviously relaxed him because after letting out one resigned sigh, he reached an arm to pull her back to her position against him.

She let him hold her and sighed into his chest. “You remember when we woke up on our first official day as husband and wife.”

His fingertips squeezed into her waist. “I remember when you woke up.”

“That was my favorite moment.” She nuzzled his chest. “Something I know Rey and Ben will experience.”

Han thought back to that day, that morning. “I laid awake the whole night trying to convince myself this was real. That I wasn’t still searching for my life.”

His core strength helped to pull his torso up, her body jostling as her hips fell to his other side, legs now curling across his hips. Her head now pillowed on his bicep as his hand stroked across her temple. He looked down at her as if it was that first morning together.

“But when you woke and touched my face…”

She did just that, caressing the love she found there.

“I knew that I belonged.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the sequel I have in the works takes place about a month after the epilogue and a month after Rey and Ben were married. I would love you guys to share your thoughts on where you think Ben's head would be after all this happened. What does he want to do? Where would he find his professional calling?
> 
> Thanks much!


	28. Epilogue 2- Becoming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're back! Welcome to the third story in this collection titled, Becoming.
> 
> I've posted a short, second epilogue here that sets up a bit of the plot. The rest of the story will begin its daily updates tomorrow under its new title! Stay tuned!
> 
> Thanks so much for reading! Enjoy!

“How are you?” Leia asked what seemed like a customary greeting.

“Fine.” Ben gave the stoic, customary answer.

“Ben…” That wasn’t the answer she was looking for, so she asked again. “Really, how are you?”

Of course, she knew him, was able to see through any bluster he was portraying. 

“I’m content.” His answer was honest, but it lacked any helpful information.

Leia changed the direction of the conversation. “How’s Rey?”

This he was happier to talk about. 

“She’s good.” He nodded as he thought back to their previous conversation. “She’s looking forward to the end of her first year of training.”

“I imagine so.” Leia smiled thinking about the girl’s success in her academy. “She’s doing well.”

Ben nodded, agreeing with his mother’s assessment. “You’ve seen her in training. I know she values your input.”

“I’m happy to give it.”

Ben swallowed before taking another step towards his mother. “She’s still questioning her own skills and her abilities as a teacher.”

Leia listened, nodding with acknowledgment. “I can understand why. It’s a massive job she’s agreed to take on and she’s following in the footsteps of massive failures.”

Ben had to agree with that statement, but it only made him feel even more anxious for his wife. He believed in her and he believed she was doing the right thing. But he understood the pressures that were being placed on her as the new generation of Jedi.

“I don’t know how to help her,” he admitted.

“Just be there.” Leia raised her eyes to her son as she gave her well-earned advice. “She’ll need you there to quell any doubts in her mind and show her the power she already possesses inside of her.”

He nodded, finding so much appreciation for the family he had supporting him. 

She lowered her head and then raised it again as she changed the subject. “I got another call from my contact.”

He crossed his arms and leaned on one of the landing gears. “Where are they sending you?”

“Arkanis,” she uttered in a cryptic way that made him believe there was more to the story. 

“Arkanis.” He raked back through his mind as he tried to remember why that planet sparked his memory. “Something happened between you and them.”

She let out a telling smirk as she confirmed his broad memory. “You’re right about that.”

“They were allies of the First Order…” He didn’t have anything else of substance to offer.

She wet her lips and opened her jaw slightly before revealing the irony. “Senator Carise Sindian from Arkanis was the one who…”

She didn't need to continue. He sucked in a full breath as his entire torso rocked. “Now I remember.”

Leia continued now that they were on the same page. “I personally informed her of her demotion of both Senatorial and royal titles. And that was the last time I saw her.” 

“I don’t remember her name other than from…” he gestured to the story she just told. “That. She’s former First Order?”

Leia nodded and shrugged her shoulders. “She certainly supported their rise and apparently gave them enough support that they gave her back her title and she earned enough respect to continue to influence their politics.”

That seems to be a predictable pattern nowadays. Senators and influencers who lost power under the New Republic gained it back when the First Order ascended. Now, the entire galaxy was in a place of flux and new negotiations were happening everywhere. This was obviously the case with SENATOR Sindian.

“She’s back in power now?” 

Leia nodded again, however reluctantly. “It seems she wants to align her leadership with the Alliance of the Republic. And I, or should I say we, have been charged with negotiating this process.” 

He caught the ‘we’ in her statement. 

“Will you come with me?” She finally asked. 

His eyes scanned down to the floor and then back to her. “Is Dad going?”

She tilted her head in a way that meant yes. “He volunteered himself.”

“You think I can be helpful.” It was a statement, not a question. She would never have asked him if she didn’t think so.

“I do,” she confirmed. Her head then turned to a different angle and her eyes told him she was again changing the topic of conversation. “I also think it will be good for you.”

He noticed as her eyes glanced around the mechanics covered floor.

He felt his fingers fiddle with the wrench he was holding. “Gives me something to do.”

“How are you, Ben?”

This was the third time she asked and she hoped she would get a better answer. 

She wasn't going to leave until she had an answer, so he strove to give her one.

“I’m still feeling…” He did his best to search his feelings. “Lost.”

She was silent as she let him continue. 

“I’m happy, it’s not that.” He wanted to make sure he expressed that clearly. “But I don’t know what to do with my time.”

She had a wry smile forming on her face. “You sound like your father.” 

If he had a credit for every time he heard that phrase… 

“When the Empire fell and he left his military post, he didn’t have any professional aspirations or plans.”

“Except for you,” Ben cut in. “You were his plan.”

“That’s for sure and certain,” she confirmed as her voice turned firm. “He was stuck with me by that point. But he was feeling…” She couldn’t have chosen a better word. “Lost.”

“All I know is my plan was to train Rey.” He stopped his fingers from fiddling as he raised his eyes to meet hers. “She will carry on the Jedi. My job there is done.”

“Your father also knows something about living in a spouse's shadow.”

Yes, Ben supposed his father had already experienced much of the emotions and situations rolling through his head. 

Leia leaned forward, her elbows coming to rest on her knees. He knew from experience that she was about to share something important and probably extremely relevant. 

“You have the great fortune to be able to make a choice.” 

He listened intently. 

“My Ben, my little Ben wanted to be a pilot. What does he want to be now?”

That was the question he wished he knew the answer to. 

“I still love flying,” 30-year-old Ben confirmed. “I still want to do that.”

She seemed satisfied with that answer. “That’s a start.”

“And this…” he used his arms to gesture the space around them. “This makes me happy."

“I know it does.” She acknowledged the personal satisfaction he got from his ships. “You bring a combination of highly valued skills, sweetie. You’ll find the path that’s right for you.”

He took his hand and pressed his palm into the landing strut. “Maybe… Eventually.”

She disagreed with his dismal sentiment. 

“You’ll become who you were meant to be by choosing to be more like that person every day.”

He heard her, but it didn’t give him much clarity. 

When he raised his eyes, he was ready to return to their previous, more immediate topic.

“I don’t know how I can be helpful with Senator Sindian,” he admitted. “I never worked with her or even traveled to Arkanis.”

“It’s nothing spectacular.” She raised her eyes to the side. “Lots of rain.” 

As the last memory she had flickered into her head, she shared a glance with him.

“It’s also where General Hux was born.” The one member of First Order leadership they had failed confirm a kill or location on. 

Ben didn’t seem phased with that new knowledge. “Then the planet’s weather clearly affected the dreary bore it birthed.” 

He stood up straight from his previous leaning position.

“I better bring an extra pair of boots.”


End file.
